Politically Correct
by enhancedbycolor
Summary: AU set in the San Francisco Bay Area Nami has decided that she's tired of Sanji constantly chasing after girls only to be taken advantage of & decides to take a more active role in Sanji committing to a Real Relationship. Eventual ZoSan
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this is my first shot at writing fanfiction. Actually, this is my first shot at writing any sort of 'creative writing' story outside of school. &seeing as how I'm a social science major I haven't done any creative writing for academic reasons since middle school.

So why I've decided to start now with a (what I intend to be) quite long multi-chaptered One Piece yaoi (ZoSan!)... I've no idea. But that's what's happening & to make things better I'm doing this in the middle of midterms and papers.

**Disclaimer:** Oda is brilliant and I could only hope to borrow his characters for this story. Instead I'll be using clones mutated by the inevitable OOCness of a new fanfic writer.

**Notes:** Please please feel free to comment on purely aesthetic things. Grammar, spelling, writing style. I tend to write in my thinking voice so expect sentence fragments, pauses, and italics/bold for emphasis. If you find it annoying, let me know. I really have no qualms with going back and editing stuff.  
Also I still have no idea how this whole fanfiction system works so please be blunt!

Oh& enjoy!

* * *

He was focused. He could feel the adrenaline building up.

_5. 4. 3. 2. 1_.

And he was in motion. Dodging the men that rushed at him. A side step here. Backtrack two steps. Knee to gut. Unsheathe and block. Duck, kickout, thrust up, and run. He could feel the rhythm and see the movements as they were laid out.

"**CUUUUTT!** Perfect Zoro. Just Perfect! Next is the dock dive, but our lead will have to do that himself because we need a full body shot, face and all. Take a rest stunties."

Zoro headed straight to the food tent. It had been a long day and all he really wanted was some grub and a nice long nap. He looked up to see Ace grinning, beckoning him over with one hand. The freckled faced twentysomething barely glanced at Zoro as he ambled over, sliding over a plate piled with sandwiches.

"_I know_ I said I wanted something that burns a little faster, but balsa wood burns WAY too fast. We wouldn't even have time to set off the main explosion before everything burns down! And I realize that _you_ may love setting things on fire over and over again, but _I'm_ the one who's gonna have to rebuild it each time!"

"yeaaahyeaah okayokay Usopp. I'll see what I can scrounge up. If worse comes to worst we can always send our lovely Swordsman over to intimidate our neighborhood _scientists_ into giving us materials." Ace was practically giggling at the thought. The film shoot was taking place at the closed down Alameda Naval Base sitting on the San Francisco Bay. The old base had been decommissioned for years, but it was a wide open area with a number of sturdy warehouses where the Mythbusters crew did some of their experiments. You could even still see the remnants of the freeway that had been built specifically for _The Matrix Reloade_d's car chase.

Zoro loved it. Even if he wasn't really a stunt double. Not at all. In fact, he was only doing this because Usopp and Ace and asked him to. A big budget hadn't been allocated for this particular film so they had decided to take advantage of the poor, yet very talented, college kids in the area and recruited them as interns.

Though Zoro was pretty damn sure Ace didn't go to college. No. Ace had gone to So Cal immediately after high school to live out a Beach Boys song. And with Ace's permanent tan, apartment stocked with surfboard equipment, and refusal to ever fully cover his torso upon returning, Zoro was pretty damn sure Ace had accomplished that goal. Yet he had still managed to be "discovered" with Usopp at the Academy of Art working on a set design for a _potential_ show they might-though-probably-would-never put on. The show, from what Zoro could tell from the aftermath of their miniature models, was an attempt at recreating WWII. Without the politics or the people. Just the bombs.

The studio had been desperately seeking a stunt double who knew how to use swords and the two special effects nuts had immediately thought of their green-haired friend.

Zoro loved it because it was easy money. The competitions he entered never had a payout he could live off of for very long and the dojo he helped out at occasionally was part of a non-profit organization. No matter how much he loved his swords, no matter if he was one of the best, swordsmanship wasn't exactly a highly sought after skill.

He had obviously been born in the wrong era.

When Ace had excitedly approached him with the job offer, Zoro hadn't been particularly thrilled. Being a stuntman sounded an awful lot like dancing. He'd have to learn the moves and counts and it wasn't at all about instincts or survival, but it was money he could earn with his swords. Or at least with someone's swords. Even if they were fake.

The guy in charge of stunts had practically wept after Zoro's audition. He had been hired on the spot and was even asked to help choreograph some of the action scenes. Again, not exactly something he was initially interested in, but the money was good and he wasn't in the position to be picky.

_At least I'm getting the chance to work on my strategic planning._ Zoro thought as he picked up a sandwich from the plate and shoved it into his mouth. _It's just another form of training. And this way I can tryout all kinds of new moves, even if I never get to actually land any blows._

After washing down his fourth sandwich with a conveniently place bottle of (hopefully Ace or Usopp's)water, Zoro laid his head on the table and dozed off, not in the least bothered by the excited conversation of his two friends as they discussed which explosives would be best for a future scene.

As content as he was with his current life, he couldn't help but be painfully aware of his growing disappointment. It had been a while since Zoro had done any real fighting. Most anyone he considered capable of holding their own against him tended to be big names in the kenjutsu world and were either constantly on the road putting on demonstrations and seminars or retired. And those that Zoro really yearned to face, the ones he'd actually have to give his best in order to beat, tended to stay out of the public eye and ended up virtually untraceable.

_I can't let all these choreographed fights dull my edge. I really just need a good clean brawl._

And as he listened to the splash of the waves in the distance and the unintelligible voices of his friends, Zoro fell asleep.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Sanji used to live for nights like this. Women and men dressed in their finest, smiles graced everyone's lips, discussions were informed, and they understood fine dining. To a degree, he still lived for nights like this. Especially when it was hosted by the ever elegant Robin Nico at her always tasteful art gallery. He loved catering at these high class events because it was nothing like the scuffed up Baratie which was filled with brutish men and practically had a standing invitation for every roughneck to come in and brawl.

Until the Tenryuubito moved into town. Well, they hadn't really _moved_ into town. He figured they'd always been around the city, ruining parties, turning every conversation into a political debate. (Though he was pretty sure _legalizing slavery_ wasn't really up for much of a debate in any civilized country anymore. The sick fucks.)

The Tenryuubito were considered to be elite due to family name alone. Most were trustfund babies who had never had to lift a finger for themselves and actually believed they were entitled because there was some obscure scrap of paper that claimed they were related to George Washington or some other bullshit like that.

It wasn't like they were Robin's friends or anything. Hell, he was certain they weren't anyone's friends, but they had power. They had influence.

And tonight the ambassador of a small desert country was going to be there; was going to introduce his daughter who would be studying in the states to aid in her understanding of foreign cultures.

"The poor bastard has no idea what the hell he's throwing his daughter into." Sanji muttered to no one in particular. These parties were becoming too heated, too political for Sanji to fully enjoy himself. For Sanji to feel like he had any right to enjoy himself. No. He would stay out of this.

He felt a soft tap on his shoulder.

"Sanji, this is Vivi Nefertari, the daughter of the visiting ambassador." Robin's voice was soft and melodic, "she insisted I introduce her to the head chef."

Sanji didn't hear a single word the girl said. All he could do was swoon at her light voice. Admire her exotic, shining blue hair. Appreciate her voluptuous—

He took her hand in his, bowed low, and brushed his lips over her soft skin. "I had no idea I would be meeting such a lovely woman such as yourself this evening," he crooned "If only I could be the provider of your nutrition for the remainder of your stay."

The young diplomat blushed and a voice from over Sanji's shoulder chuckled. "I'm pretty sure she just offered you the position of 'personal chef'. Something you might have heard if you hadn't been visibly drooling." A redhead stepped forward and nodded to Robin before turning a polite smile to Vivi.

Sanji didn't know why she did it. His lovely mellorine.

His lovely EXmellorine.

He couldn't explain why it seemed that every time he had run into her these past couple months the same thing would happen. It didn't make sense. Did she hate him? It couldn't have been the break up. Seeing as how she had been the one to dump him as soon as she realized that all the benefits she reaped while going out with Sanji (invitation to high class parties where she could network with rich potential clients) she could still very well gain access to while not going out with Sanji. And Sanji didn't mind. It was no secret that she had never been in it for the romance, but he had been satisfied with having a consistent Someone he could dote on. Honestly, he still doted on her. But none of that explained why the hell _Nami was cock blocking him. _

There was no other way to explain it.

Every once in a while he'd find a pretty little thing who was enchanted by his charms and just when she'd slip her number into his pocket or they had grabbed their coats and were heading out the door, Nami appeared at his side intimidating in all her confident beauty and would either scare off his potential lover-to-be or whisk him away to serve as her personal tour guide.

Sanji was a shameless flirt and everyone knew it. He preferred the term _chivalrous_. What he wasn't was an idiot. As lovely as it would be to think that Nami was doing this out of territorial jealousy, it wasn't and he wouldn't delude himself into believing it.

_Unless there's no other answer. Unless she really is jealous!_

Sanji twirled towards Nami and placed a peck on her cheek. "I wasn't expecting to see you here, my lovely tangerine! But, as always, it is a pleasure."

Nami simply raised an eyebrow at him before responding. "Ofcourse I'm here. I've been assigned to be Miss Vivi's financial advisor during her stay and if you accept the offer of personal chef… it seems we'll be spending quite a bit of time together."

The grin that followed made Sanji's insides squirm as if the rearrangement of his internal organs would somehow make that grin represent sunshine & rainbows rather than the promise of many lonely nights as Nami effectively became his walking chastity belt.

Nami watched as Sanji's face twitched only the slightest bit, but enough for her to know he had felt her threat. She was doing this for his own good. Sanji was a good guy and she wasn't really a bad person. She liked to think that, had she believed that he had truly loved her, she would have stopped taking advantage of him immediately.

Well, that's what she liked to believe. But if she were to be completely honest she knew that even if Sanji had loved her he would have forgiven her selfishness just as quickly.

_And that's the fool's problem! He fawns over every girl without any regard to their intentions. You'd think after going out with me he'd try and regain some self-respect, but no. He keeps doing it!_ And that was why Nami had appointed herself a sort of quality spot-checker. She understood manipulative women and Sanji was a prime target. An easy target.

And maybe, if she was able to help Sanji find someone who was actually sincere in their affections towards him, Nami wouldn't feel indebted to him for all the business he had brought into her life.

She sighed as she watched Sanji continue to swoon over the ambassador's daughter.

Maybe if she offered to remodel his kitchen her conscience would be set at ease.

_-snort- Right. What's the point in using Sanji's contacts if I'm just going to use all my hard earned money on him in the end._ No. She'd rather suffer his endless affections.

Letting out a final grumble Nami tuned back into the conversation.

"While Miss Nami is correct in saying that I am looking for a personal chef… it would perhaps be more accurate to say a personal caterer" the young politician-to-be was clarifying.

Robin gave a knowing nod. "I assume that during your stay you intend to immerse yourself in everyday life?"

"Those are indeed my intentions"

"And, of course, it's not quite the norm for everyday working class citizens to have a personal chef in their employ. Yet that does not change the fact that you are still here as a representative of your country and will, unfortunately, have to continue playing princess at these social gatherings, correct?"

Vivi returned Robin's smile. "That is absolutely correct. I decided that if I have to constantly go to these parties, it would only be fair that I have at least one constant myself for comfort."

"And oh~ how good food can make any event worth the time!" came the deep voice of a smiling man with long wavy black hair. "Did I hear that this young blonde man is the head chef for tonight?"

"Yes father this is Sanji. Who is, apparently, already a friend of both Robin and Nami. Sanji, this is my father, Cobra Nefertari."

Sanji gave the Alabasta ambassador a firm shake with his hand and a slight bow of his head. "I must give you my greatest thanks for bringing such a beautiful gem into this world. I would be honored to offer my services in any way possible, whenever and wherever they are needed." He gave another bow, this one much lower and with greater flourish.

Sanji had gone out with enough women to know that any lasting relationship required being on the good side of the men in a girl's life. Whether it be friend or family. Schmoozing was, after all, practically the same thing as flirting just without the romance. It was something he was good at.

Cobra chuckled and turned to speak to Robin. "Nico I really must once again thank you for letting us use your gallery for tonight."

"Not at all! I am the one who must thank you for letting me display such exquisite Alabastan artifacts..."

Sanji watched as Robin's face lit up with enthusiasm concerning the current exhibit before excusing himself from the group in the name of checking up on the food.

In fact Sanji had seen a few of the Tenryuubito making their way over and had decided to avoid any sort of meeting. He had been very aware of the fact that agreeing to Vivi's proposition placed him exactly here he didn't want to be: a first row seat to all the inevitable political drama that the young girl would be sure to face.

The position of 'head chef' wouldn't exactly make him a main participant in any future events, but Sanji was solid in his beliefs. He was opinionated and people as narrow-minded and elitist as the Tenryuubito brought out the worst in him.

Sanji found himself in the kitchen where he joined in the cleanup that had already begun.

_I used to live for nights like this._


	2. Chapter 2

Ohhoho! I finished this chapter about 2 days after the 1st one, but I thought I'd let it simmer for a bit before posting. Just in case I'd wake up the next day and realize "oh hey! Actually this is terrible." (haha this is probably why people get betas)

**Word Count:**2,195

**Disclaimer:** Oda is brilliant and I could only hope to borrow his characters for this story. Instead I'll be using clones mutated by the inevitable OOCness of a new fanfic writer.

**Notes:** Blahblah still getting used to this Blah. For the past few days I couldn't help but feel there was just... something off with this chapter compared to the first one. & I realized it's because this chapter actually has_dialogue_ and _action_. Apparently it's easier for me to write when everyone is just having an inner monologue. Don't be afraid of being blunt, critical, or harsh. I can take it. &if I can't, I need to learn how to someday, might as well be now. Whether it be mechanical errors or plot/character errors, dooooo speak up!

=D

Zoro had never really held a steady job. Or at least not one in any traditional sense. The closest thing he had to a regular paying job was at the Galley-La Company and Frankyhouse. Galley-La was a big name shipyard that did both repairs and new commissions. Frankyhouse was 'pimp my ride' for ships. The two were situated right next to each other and always had at least one collaboration project active.

Zoro stepped out of Galley-La and headed over to the Frankyhouse dock. He had been helping out with general labor tasks for most of the day and the only workers left were going over blueprints.

As he approached the luxury shipyard he saw a large blue-haired man chatting with a couple square-afro'd twins. Franky was loud, obnoxious, and brilliant. His infinite creativity made him an interesting drinking buddy, even if the guy only seemed to order rum and coke.

Franky saw Zoro and stood up, clapping a large hand on the young man's back.

"ZORO! My man! It's been too long. Still doing your sword thing across the bay?" Franky waved in the direction of the inactive Naval base which was clearly visible from their dock.

"Mnn. Yeah. But not for much longer, which is actually why I came over. Tomorrow's last day of filming and we're having a wrap party afterwards, if you want to come."

"Awww man. The Lady's already made me promise I'd attend some shindig or other tomorrow. Not Supaaa! Maybe later we should get drinks?"

Zoro agreed and the two chatted before he began heading off.

_Guess I'll head to the dojo and train a bit. Or maybe stop by one of the college kendo clubs. They've got a few competent sparring partners._ Zoro tried not to think about the fact that he was getting tired of 'competent' and hopped on the BART [1].

At least tomorrow held the promise of food and booze. The two things in his life that he knew he would never tire of.

Franky watched Zoro walk away. He never could figure out exactly how the guy managed to look so alone despite being surrounded by some of the most fiercely loyal friends in existence.

"Bro needs to find a woman."

Franky pondered the thought for a second.

"Or just get laid."

**XXXXX**

Zoro found himself sitting in a white room scowling. They had saved one of the action scenes to be the last segment filmed. It was a relatively difficult scene when it came to technical skill, but it was a scene that they had been rehearsing for the past couple weeks.

The group he had been training with had done their parts perfectly. It was the set crew that had screwed up. Someone had failed to properly secure something small and when Zoro had leapt up to jump from one raised platform to an even higher platform, the whole thing had collapsed and he was left with a gash on his leg and a wrist fracture.

"—ROOOO! You're not even listening to me and this is important! No alcohol! If you want the fracture to heal quickly you need to know what to eat and drink. Got it?"

Zoro glared at the paper being held out to him and looked up at the stern faced boy.

"You're kidding right? They're holding the wrap party tonight. I've stayed completely sober these past few weeks in the name of filming and _now I can't celebrate_?"

Chopper looked non-plussed. "You stayed sober these past few weeks because if you got hurt with any trace of alcohol in your system then you wouldn't be covered by the studio's insurance." The med student moved to stuff the paper outlining the recommended diet for recovery into the jacket lying at the foot of the bed.

Zoro grumbled and shrugged on his jacket, pulling his sleeves over the temporary splint, making it easier to slip off inconspicuously as soon as he was sure Chopper was no longer in the area. Chopper was another intern who had been recruited to help out. He had been patching up the small injuries the stuntmen and crew had gotten throughout filming and Zoro couldn't help but be drawn to the guy.

"Thanks."

Chopper spluttered. "What the hell?! You think I need your gratitude? Shut up and go find some food!"

Zoro chuckled as he watched the doctor-in-training rush out of the tent. The boy was damn adorable.

Zoro could hear the steady thump of music and loud chatter filter in from outside the open window. He knew that Ace had invited his younger brother, who also happened to be Usopp's best friend, and wondered if anyone had even considered setting aside a plate before the human garbage disposal arrived.

He was taken aback as he stepped out of the building. One of the (properly secured) platforms housed an energetic band and was surrounded by a huge crowd.

"What the hell is this?" Zoro hadn't even noticed he had spoken aloud until Ace thumped him on the shoulder.

"_This_, my dear friend, is what happens when you throw a party promising free beer and food and tell your staff full of college kids that they can invite whomever they want. We're just lucky it's such a lovely day today! How're the battle wounds?"

Zoro found himself grinning. It was difficult to stay moody around the guy. Ace and his brother radiated sunshine and smiles.

"They're barely scratches," Zoro scoffed as Ace led him towards the buffet tables.

"What's this I hear about no alcohol during recovery? Drinking by my lonesome is no fun."

"Eff that Ace. I'm pretty sure Chopper just meant no hard stuff. I doubt a bit of beer will leave me crippled."

In order to punctuate his point Zoro headed directly for the tub of iced beer. As he pulled out a can he saw a dark blur from the corner of his eye and suddenly a firm hand gripped his wrist.

Zoro turned to growl at the offender as an unfamiliar voice asked,

"Are you Roronoa?"

Zoro held back his growl. Maybe this guy wasn't _trying_ to prevent him from getting his alcohol.

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

Didn't mean he hadn't pissed Zoro off.

"Sorry, but Doogie Howser [2] left a note explicitly stating that there would be no alcohol for the invalid. He did, however, leave specifications on what food you should be eating for now."

Ace burst out laughing behind Zoro.

_Chopper. Fucking. Shit._ "What the hell is that crap"

The plate of food being held out to Zoro didn't look _bad_ per se. It just didn't look good surrounded by the, surprisingly, grand buffet that was laid out in front of him.

"It's a variation of Tofu triangles in creamy nut butter sauce."

"Ouch. Chopper's never been this much of a hardass when you've gotten injured, what the hell did you do to him Zoro?" Ace didn't even try to mask the glee etched on his face.

"Fuck if I know."

"Look. Just be a good boy and eat your food. Maybe I'll even find you some nice fat-free yogurt for dessert."

Sanji's head was throbbing. He had just spent a ridiculous amount of energy preventing a hyperactive kid and his long nosed partner-in-crime from wheeling off an entire table of food.

"Don't bullshit me. I've been patched up enough times to know that eating meat isn't going to hamper my recovery."

Sanji had been irritated all week and being asked to play mother to some guy who apparently couldn't take care of himself wasn't making his day any better. When the fun-sized doctor had pointed to the well-built green-haired man and handed over a list of food with a "please make sure at least one of these gets on his plate," Sanji had decided to make a meal out of it.

It was still a damn good meal, but one he had (rightfully) assumed the muscle head wouldn't be very pleased with. Sure, the doctor hadn't said 'no steak', but he hadn't listed it as a recommended dish either.

_Really, it was left up to interpretation._

Sanji turned a sickeningly sweet smile back to Zoro.

"Buffet rules, sir. If you don't finish what's on your plate you can't come back for more."

Zoro snatched the plate from the blonde and scarfed down the food in a manner that would have made Luffy proud.

_Fuuuck. What did he say this was? Peanut butter tofu?_

He swallowed the food, slightly regretting not taking the chance to savor the taste.

Like hell he'd let the smug bastard know.

"Plate's clean. Now I want some **real** food."

Zoro shifted to reach around the blonde to fill his plate and instead found a firm foot against his chest.

"If you want more food then you need to get back in line."

Sanji knew he was picking a fight. He knew he was picking a stupid fight at that. But he had suddenly become very aware of how long it had been since he had actually _fought_ with someone. He had often gotten into scuffles while working at the Baratie, but the parties he tended to cater at nowadays conducted all animosity in an underhanded fashion. It was all pointed words and not-so-subtle implications. This outdoor frat party was perfect.

_Come on! Make a move!_

"Mosshead."

And suddenly there was a blade at his throat. It was a blunted edge, but it was enough.

_Thankyouthankyouthankyou_

Sanji pushed off from his leg still pressed against muscled chest and dodged as the blade swung towards him again. He ducked and swung his legs out low, catching one foot that hadn't been lifted fast enough.

Zoro was caught off guard. He had expected the blonde to have some skill simply by the strength and control he had felt when the foot had been pressed against him.

_But damn.. fucker's fast too._

The two continued to clash and separate for a minute longer. Both were ignoring the ring of people that had formed around them.

Sanji was slightly disappointed. The guy--_had his friend called him Zoro?_--was strong and lighter on his feet than Sanji had expected with his size, but there were holes. Not often and not big, but there nonetheless. The guy had barely lifted his left arm throughout the fight and was just a millisecond slow on his right leg.

_Fucker better not be holding out on me. Oh. Right. __**Shit.**_

Zoro saw his opponent stiffen and pause right before the (admittedly easy to dodge) blade made contact with his gut.

"Oi, what the hell are you-"

"You're fucking injured and you're _fighting_! What the hell is your problem?"

_This guy can't be serious._ Zoro stared at him for a beat longer.

"Who the hell do you think started this fight in the first place?!"

"I forgot… about your injuries, I mean.."

"Whatever. They just level the playing field a bit. Why else do you think you're still even standing?" Zoro returned the earlier smirk. It wasn't convincing.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "I don't need a fucking handicap to kick your ass."

But there was no poison in the words. Sanji was distracted by thoughts of how the swordsman would fight in top form. How _fun_ it would be.

He sighed. "Just… wait here a minute." And the man disappeared into the building behind the food setup only to come back wheeling a couple carts heaped with food.

"Here. Every plate contains at least one thing that's supposed to be helping your recovery. Also, seeing as how the strawhat kid and Pinocchio seem to know you and your friend, this should keep them away from the buffet tables." He remembered the commotion they had caused earlier in the day. "For a bit."

Zoro looked behind him and saw Luffy perched on Ace with Usopp right behind him. He was grinning around a mouthful of food and waving energetically.

He looked at the food and turned a suspicious eye to the guy offering it.

"Eat. The Fucking. Food. And listen to your fucking doctor," he paused "that way, next time, when I kick your face in For Real you won't have an excuse."

The blonde disappeared before he could retort. Zoro grumbled and noticed only half the food was left.

He and Luffy had gotten close during the few years Ace had been gone. He would easily concede that he considered Luffy to be his closer friend. He had no idea how it had happened, but sometime during Ace's absence Zoro had found himself being dragged along with Luffy and Usopp on their 'Nighttime Adventures'.

_Damn it all to hell if I don't die of starvation because I've kept this kid around._

"Boy Zoro! You definitely know how to make friends!" Another column of food disappeared. "Can you ask him if they do doggie bags?"

"Doggie bags? You say that like you're capable of carrying food around _outside_ your mouth." Usopp said around his own mouthful of food.

Zoro picked up the beefiest plate he could find. Had the curly-brow said 'next time'?

_I don't even know the bastard's name._

**Footnotes:**

[1] BART: Bay Area Rapid Transit. It's our version of a subway. Except it goes above land and underwater.

[2]Doogie Howser an 80's med show about a 16 year old doctor (played by the ever lovely Neil Patrick Harris! who, BtheDUBS I would totally cast as Sanji!)


	3. Chapter 3

I've got a lovely handful of papers due these next two weeks soooo no 3 chapters a week (assuming I can actually tear myself away from writing this long enough to focus on academics). &actually this works out perfectly. The end of this chapter turned out to be a good place to stop for a breather(for me). =]]

**Word Count:**2,431  
**Disclaimer:** Odacchiiii is a dear for creating such slashable characters. I, however, am not.

**Notes:** If there's ever some obscure reference you don't understand, let me know and I'll add a footnote. Unless you guys hate footnotes. Then I can stop putting them in? (or at least stop embedding the markers within the paragraph)

* * *

"Slacking off are we?"

Sanji turned around at the voice and stubbed out the cigarette that had been sticking out from between his lips.

"Namiswaaaaan are you done with your meeting already? Where are the lovely Vivi and Robin?"

"Yeah. I'm done. It's definitely a risky investment, but the profit potential for the movie is really tempting and Vivi seemed quite taken with the actual plot..." Nami muttered, not mentioning that "quite taken" wasn't exactly the right way to put it. Vivi had been frozen in place when she had been told the film concept.

"She and Robin are still caught up in a discussion about Alabasta's recent history and changing social culture. Or something to that effect. Not really my area." She yawned.

Nami wasn't going to let Vivi's eagerness to accept the position as financial backer for the film bother her. The movie was about Alabasta and Vivi had probably seen in it the potential to raise interest in her relatively unknown country.

Tourism would be good business and it would be strategic if the Alabastan government was planning on making itself more of an international presence.

And Nami could understand that.

_Afterall, tourists are the Sanji of the marketplace: all too willing to spend ridiculous amounts of money on something that isn't real._

She looked up at Sanji and leaned in just the slightest, sighing.

"It's too bad the meeting went on for so long. I missed breakfast this morning and it looks like you guys have already started cleaning the kitchens."

Sanji didn't mention that, yes though the stoves were off, the tables were still obviously filled with food. Or that Nami's meeting was supposed to have lasted for another hour.

"Ohhh my mellorine. I would choose death before hearing such a sad sigh escape from your lips ever again. I will make you a meal befitting your beauty; you've only to wait a minute longer!"

She gave him a smile and he twirled away.

For a while she had tried to stop taking advantage of him so much. And then she resolved to at least feel guilty about it. Ultimately she settled for _trying_ to feel guilty and when that failed she made sure to properly reprimand herself.

She felt guilty about not feeling guilty.

_Well, admitting is half the solution, right?_

She was feeling better already.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Zoro ripped off his splint and chucked it into the nearest trash bin. After the distraction of amazingly good- _how the hell did the studio afford such high quality_ - food had been finished with, Zoro had finally gotten around to reflecting on the fight.

And he was pissed.

He knew he had been itching for a good fight (his sensei at the dojo had called it 'moping') and now he had just missed his chance.

Normally, the reduced movement caused by the splint wouldn't have been a problem. Normally, it wouldn't even be a handicap. Zoro's santoryuu style left him able to wield a katana one handed. In fact he was better when he had one sword in each hand. He was used to it. _Normally_, a sore wrist and a papercut on his leg wouldn't even qualify him as being 'wounded'.

But the blonde had noticed. And that meant _there was something to notice._

It burned Zoro to think of how weak he must've seemed for his opponent to stop the fight.

"Sooo… what's up with Zoro."

Ace looked up and accepted the beer being held out to him.

"Why thank you, Good Sir! I'm afraid our dear friend is being haunted by thoughts of a feisty blonde."

A grin spread across Franky's face.

_Perfect!_

"Feisty sounds like his type."

Zoro's face twitched.

Ace matched the grin.

"Ohhh yeah. Thin, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, pretty face, legs up to here. You know the type."

"AND he knows where to get good food!" Luffy was staring at Zoro, fascinated by the different colors his face had been turning.

"_Aaaand_ he kicked Zoro's ass. Literally." Usopp's face was scrunched up in what he hoped was an intimidating Zoro-like scowl. Luffy was howling.

Franky had been on the verge of making another crack about Zoro's new woman until-

"_He?_ Well… Zoro's never been one to care about gender in fights so… actually that'd make a lot of sense!"

"Hahahaha _riiiiiight?!_ Pansexual! Zoro[1] definitely makes sense!"

"OI! What the _hell_ are you two going on about? Stop saying ridiculous shit. And what are you even doing here, Franky? I thought Robin had you tied down for today?"

"Oh nonono. Don't be silly, Zoro. The tying down is for tonight." Zoro's skin prickled.

It was the smile.

He wouldn't find Robin half as creepy if she didn't pull this shit (the suggestive jokes and the_grabbing Franky's gonads in public that one time_) while keeping that unflinching pleasant smile on her face.

"Ahh Robin, Vivi, you guys all done?"

"Yes. Vivi has asked Nami to look into seriously funding the film and we've both agreed to stay on as consultants to make sure the Alabasta they create is as authentic as possible." She turned her steady gaze towards Zoro.

"It's actually quite convenient that you're here, Zoro, because we were hoping to secure your swordsmanship for the film."

A rectangular nosed man stepped out from behind Robin.

"Ah. How rude of me. I forgot to do introductions. This is Kaku, one of the higher ups in CP9 Studios and this young woman is Vivi Nefertari, the Alabastan diplomat-to-be."

_A bigshot from The Studio? That explains the splurge on food._ He didn't give a second thought to the new girl. Robin was always involved with some priss or another.

"We saw some of your raw footage back in L.A. and figured we might as well come and speak with you while we were in town meeting with the ladies. I realize that this was the first film you've worked on and it was really only temporary work, but our new film _Suna_ is a bit more sword intensive. We think you'd be a fine asset to the crew."

Zoro had enjoyed the work so far and knew he wouldn't really mind more of the same.

"Thanks, but I think I'll decline. Working on this film, just as a temp, took away from my personal training enough as it is. I don't need to spend even more time Not Really fighting."

While Zoro appreciated the benefits of honing his strategic skills, keeping his reflexes sharp and being able to trust his instincts was better.

"You just have to let him cool down a bit. Apparently some hot blonde just stomped all over his ego in the fighting arena." Franky shook his head sadly.

"HEY. Would you guys fucking shut up about—"

"Well‼ If it makes any difference," Vivi interrupted, "two of Alabasta's elite guard will be flying in to help with teaching the subtleties of our own sword style. And, if you do decide to take the job, I'm sure that they'd both be willing to train with you outside of filming."

Kaku held a hand up. "I really just popped in to officially extend the offer. It also looks like you guys are better equipped to convince the young man, so I'll be off. Just know that a job like this could open up all kinds of opportunities for you, Mr. Roronoa." Kaku shook hands with Vivi and Robin "I look forward to working with you two again" and left.

Zoro finally turned to the girl who had spoken. She was staring at him. Eyes set with resolve.

Zoro let out a grunt.

"I'll think about it."

Robin gave a knowing smile.

"So. What's this about Zoro and a hot blonde?"

"Not. This. _Again._"

"Apparently some blonde pretty boy taught Zoro a lesson with his legs."

"AND THE FOOD. He fed us really good food." Luffy didn't understand why they kept forgetting that part. It was damn important and probably the stranger's best quality.

"Err… are you guys talking about Sanji?" Everyone turned to look at Vivi.

"Um it's just that Nami mentioned that he's been on edge lately and that he'd probably be provoking random guys in search of stress relief."

"… Actually. The guy Ace described really does sound like Sanji." _Feisty. Legs up to here. Good fighter…. Good food._ "**A lot** like Sanji."

"Ehhhhhh? Franky…you know that guy?"

"Well, he's helped out with Robin's exhibits a lot and he's hosted most of the dinner parties she's thrown. I didn't even think about the fact that he might be handling this event too."

"Franky. You…" Luffy's face was grim. "You've had this guy over for dinner and **YOU'VE NEVER INVITED ME?** And I thought you were nakama! Nakama would _never hold out on each other_! Especially not about **THIS**!"

And once again Zoro remembered just how hard it was for him to maintain a bad mood around the brothers.

_Really, I shouldn't even try._

**XXXXXXXXX**

Vivi's personal chef had arrived from Alabasta a couple weeks after the deal with CP9 had gone through.

Sanji had always loved the peace he found when cooking. He could make his favorite meals on auto-pilot and the smell of spices and herbs eased him in a way nothing else could. But even then, what he really loved was learning new recipes and the more he cooked and the more he traveled, the harder it was to find someone who could teach him something new.

Terracotta didn't seem to have that problem.

She had taught him the popular dishes first and, after he had felt comfortable enough to start tweaking the dishes himself, they had moved on.

Sanji stood at the stove sautéing beef that would be stuffed into the zucchini currently soaking in salt water. He looked at the burghul fermenting in water on the counter next to him. It was part of a different recipe that was really more of a long-term project. [2]

_A couple more days and I'll have to seal it and remember to take it out and knead it every other day for the rest of the month. I'm going to need to set a reminder for--_

**‼CRASH‼**

Sanji almost knocked the pan over as the noise startled him out of his reverie.

_Fuck was that?_

He leaned out the kitchen door and stared into the larger room that Vivi had designated as the general rec room. He saw Chaka standing against the far wall staring at two figures lying on the floor. A bookshelf had fallen over. Sanji noticed that one lump was dotted with four-pointed stars.

_That'll be Pell then._

The two guards had arrived with Terracotta and had been spending most of their time training extras for a movie that hadn't begun filming yet.

"Shit. These robes are fucking hard to move around in."

Pell let out a pained breath. "And yet you've still got the upper hand. I think I'll be tagging in Chaka, unless you're out too?" Pell pulled himself up and helped untangle the other man.

"I'm set to go again." Zoro was enjoying this. The two men weren't the best fighters he'd faced, but they were fighters. They were _legit_.

Chaka moved out onto the section of the room they had cleared and laid out mats.

_When the hell did they set this up?_ Chaka and Pell had never done any training in Vivi's building before. He looked back at the food he was preparing and decided he could watch for a bit longer.

He had no idea who the third man was. He wore traditional Alabastan clothing: a long robe and a headdress that wrapped around the front, leaving only the eyes exposed.

Sanji stood, still in the doorway, transfixed by the match. Chaka was a large man, but he was quick. He fought with a double-edged sword while his adversary held two single-edged swords. The swordplay wasn't particularly beautiful or poetic, but it was elegant.

Sanji listened to the clang of metal against metal. He watched the sharp eyes peeking out from the cloth enclosure. They were intense. They were calculating. Sanji could feel the rhythm as he followed the two swords. He understood the weaving footwork. He was fascinated by the _grace_ of the movements. The guy didn't look the least bit hindered by his layered garb.

Zoro could feel the sweat covering his body.

_If only this fucking __**hat**__…_

He growled and guarded with one blade while tearing the headdress off. He instantly felt the cool air on the back of his neck.

_Much better._ He dove in for another attack.

"_**YOU?**_"

Zoro faltered.

_That voice._

And promptly tripped on the hem of his robes.

He jumped up and spun around to glare at the blonde in the doorway.

"What the fuck is your problem you screeching banshee?!" _What the hell is he doing here?_

"You fucker. You could fight _like that_? You **were** fucking holding out on me! Even with your injury,_and boy do I know about your injuries_, you'd have been able to handle a blade just fine with the one hand!"

"What the hell does _that_ mean? How would you know shit about me? And **I'm** not the one who stopped the damn fight early!"

"It means your doctor hunted me down after he heard about our little ruckus and decided he'd use me to vent out all the anger he's stored up regarding your reckless behavior after your numerous and_apparently much worse_ injuries." Sanji's leg whipped out and was caught by the blunt edges of the two swords.

Sanji remembered just how pissed he had been when the young intern had mused: _"Actually, his injuries this time weren't really bad __**at all**__ compared to normal. I was expecting worse."_

Nami had taken Sanji's place at the kitchen door. She was peeling an orange as she watched the bickering. Sanji had always been all too willing to pick fights with anyone who wasn't a girl. She had generally found it annoying, but it was Genuine Sanji.

_If Sanji ever picked a fight like this with a girl, I'd pay for their wedding myself._

But she knew it was impossible. He refused to ever take the offensive against a woman, no matter how much of a heinous bitch the girl ended up being. Nami tried not to think about Kalifa and the number she had pulled on Sanji. Why were so many women such femme fatales?

_It'd be so much easier if Sanji just liked men._

And there it was.

Nami smiled.

The Thought That Could Not Be Taken Back.

**Footnotes:**

[1] I'm using pansexual instead of bisexual because I'm emphasizing the fact that Zoro doesn't assign gender roles [Which also means if Sanji returns to the Sunny having been 'converted' in Kamabakka (&assuming his personality hasn't changed), then Zoro would love him all the same3]

[2] Odacchi mentioned that Alabasta was def based on Egypt, but I'm going to use food dishes from the general middle east area.


	4. Chapter 4

All done with my papers! But I can't promise that this upcoming week will be any different when it comes to updating. Well. Except for Chapter 5. Because I plan on having it up in the next couple days. Ideally, I'd be able to write it in my few spare hours tomorrow night, but then it'd be even more full of typos and non sequiturs. Alsoalso! This is a ZoSan. It'll happen! I promise! (I already have some scenes written, we're just not there yet) **  
****Word Count:**2,336  
**Disclaimer:** Odacchiiii is a dear for creating such slashable characters. I, however, am not.  
**Notes:** Don't hold back on me! I can take it! Also, Thanks to ZeldaAddict42 for the ever appreciated proofing of previous chapters. Also a thanks to everyone who's reviewed 3 you guys make me want to post chapters every single day.

[Previous Chapters]

* * *

Sanji was right.

Fighting the guy in top form was fun.

It was _fun_.

It also hurt.

Zoro looked up from where he was kneeling, clutching his side. He was satisfied to see the blonde in a similar state a few feet in front of him.

"Well then…. Now that I know for sure… you're not injured anymore… next time I won't hold back." Sanji wheezed.

Zoro's abdomen spasmed and he rethought the laugh he had been about to let out.

He settled for "Don't even try to pretend it didn't take everything you had just to keep up with me, curly brow."

"What? _Keep up with you_? Wanna go another round, grass hair? I've still got plenty of energy!" Sanji fought to keep the wince off his face as he straightened himself to stand.

"Sanji? Is lunch ready yet?"

Sanji looked at Nami and noticed the first thin wisps of grey smoke drift past her.

"Ohshitohshit my beef!" Nami stepped aside as he flashed into the kitchen. She popped an orange slice into her mouth, keeping her eyes on the man who'd been able to hold his own against Sanji.

_He's not bad looking._ Her eyes lingered on the exposed muscles. The Alabastan robes had been discarded early in the fight and all that was left were loose training pants.

_Really. Sanji should be thanking me._

"It seems we should rethink our screening process. For us to have let a guy as skilled as him stay close to Miss Vivi this entire time and not know…" Chaka and Pell were staring at the cook rushing around in the kitchen as he worked to salvage the burning beef.

"What, him? He's harmless when it comes to women. He could probably get a doctor's note stating that he _actually is_ physically and mentally unable to raise a hand… or, I guess, a leg to a girl. Just think of him as an undercover body guard."

Zoro had pulled on a shirt from his gym bag.

"So what the hell is blondie doing here anyways?"

Nami slinked towards the swordsman, stopping a little closer than necessary.

"I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting yet. I'm Nami. I'm handling Vivi's finances while she's in town. I'm also one of Sanji's friends." She looked up at him and tilted her head just the slightest. "Are you training for the film?"

Zoro was unamused.

He had never been interested in flirting. It was bait. If he wanted to be caught then he'd jump on the damn boat himself.

"Zoro. I may rehearse for the film, but I train for myself." He stepped past her and went to gather the clothes he had tossed aside. When he returned to his gym bag the redhead was still staring at him.

There was something dangerous about her smile.

"Okay. So we're lucky the inconsiderate prick wasn't able to ruin all of lunch." Sanji was glaring at Zoro from the doorway. "Naaaamii I'm sorry for having made you wait so looong."

_Is that idiot really __**wiggling **__with glee?_

He really needed to train more if he found a fool like this challenging.

"You have a bad habit of blaming your own fuckups on me dartbrow. "

"Don't even presume to think I've formed any habits that involve you."

"I bet you said the same thing about your second coffin nail."

"You implying I'm addicted to you, cabbage patch?"

"I'm **saying** there's no way in hell I'd ever lose to a guy that exhibits such weak will-power."

Sanji could feel the creeping stiffness in his muscles and considered the pros and cons of another fight, until the main door opened and Vivi walked in followed by Terracotta. Their arms were full of shopping bags and groceries.

Sanji flew to their side.

"Why! Your beautiful and elegant hands should never have to suffer the weight of such heavy bags!"

Zoro gaped. He sincerely hoped the guy was simply high off the adrenaline from their fight, or maybe kitchen fumes? Was that smoke from earlier really burning meat? _Maybe Usopp's hiding out somewhere mixing some weird shit again._

Because there was No. Way. Zoro could ever consider this drooling mess of pathetic a worthy rival if this was _normal_.

"Perfect timing Vivi! Sanji was just getting ready to serve lunch and it would've been a pity if I'd have had to watch these two go at it for any longer."

Though Nami knew she really wouldn't mind watching them _go at it_ ever.

Vivi looked around. "Ah, Zoro! Are your training sessions with Chaka and Pell going to be taking place here then? We never use the rec room anyways."

Although Vivi had initially made a fuss about living a 'normal citizen's' life, she had ended up with a large flat right on the edge of Ghirardelli Square. The huge kitchen had received Sanji's stamp of approval the moment he had stepped through the door.

_But I'd never be able to live in such a roomy place on my own. It'd be too big. Too lonely._

He adamantly refused to give any attention to his current situation of forced celibacy. That would require thinking ill of Nami.

And that would be unacceptable.

Sanji had finished setting down the plates of food on the glass table and sat down next to Nami.

"Mmmn Sanji. This beef doesn't taste burnt at all."

"Oh, Nami, my dear, what would ever make you think I'd serve you burned food? I made sure the idiot musclebag over there got all the worst bits."

Zoro had already finished half his plate.

_That was burnt meat?_

"You cooked this shit? You're a _cook_?"

"_Shit_? You have a problem with the food, ass? Did you forget that I cooked you a bunch of _shit_ for your recovery after I kicked your ass the first time?"

Zoro glowered.

"You seemed more fitting for the role of busboy."

"SO VIVI. How was your day?" Nami had spent less than an hour in their presence and she was already sick of their spats.

_Zoro has other guy friends right? One of __**them's **__bound to be a better match for Sanji_.

"It's very lovely here isn't it? There are so many cultures smashed so close together. I love it! But, before I forget... I was actually invited to a charity auction next week and I was hoping all of you could accompany me? Robin and Franky already intended to go."

Zoro noticed she was staring at him.

"Me? Not really my scene."

"I realize I'd be imposing, but Franky speaks so fondly of you and if you're going to be around here more often, I figured it'd be a nice chance for all of us to spend time together outside. I already know that Nami and Sanji will go. So…" she trailed off, unsure.

_This girl here. Vivi. She's not too bad. Not like the irritating blonde or the redhead who always looks like she's scheming._ So what if Vivi had an uncanny knack for forgetting a key step when writing down directions, she was sincere.

"I'm sure there are other, better ways to hang out that doesn't involve fancy clothes. I'm still going to have to decline."

"What if you could carry your swords?"

All eyes turned to Chaka and Pell.

"We weren't sent to the States just to teach a few swordtricks. We have other duties while here and we really would feel more comfortable if Vivi were accompanied by someone like you." Pell looked serious.

"My swords? Pretty sure any blade longer than a few inches is illegal." Zoro had already been warned about wearing them at his hip and lugging them around in their cases had been much too inconvenient.

"We can get you a special license to carry them open or concealed as a part of the Nefertari security detail."

"And you wouldn't need to stay attached to Vivi either. Just as long as you at least know where she is for the most part you can carry whenever." Chaka added.

Zoro knew that Vivi's stay was temporary.

_But if she stayed for all of grad school… then that's at least 4 years._  
It'd be nice to have his swords at his side for once.

"I just have to go to the event right? They'll have alcohol? I won't have to actually talk to anyone?"

"That should be fine!"

"Alright."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He looked good in a suit. It was a revelation Sanji wasn't pleased with. Sanji would have preferred that Zoro be completely uncomfortable. For Zoro to stick out like a sore thumb and for Vivi to think twice about ever inviting him to one of these events again.

Instead, the guy looked good.

_Not that he has a choice in that goddamn __**gorgeous **__Versace suit._ Sanji knew one of the girls had picked it out. He didn't know what he would've done if he had found out the suit had actually belonged to Zoro.

The swords hanging off of his hips had only made him look better. It made him the center of attention.

He was beating Sanji at his own game and he didn't even know he was playing.

"It's so nice to see you at one of these events as a guest, Sanji! Whenever you're treating us with food you're always so busy and we never get the chance to actually spend any time in each other's company."

Sanji melted at the sight of the woman standing before him. He mentally berated himself for having let the suit distract him.

Zoro had been brooding at their table until Franky had shown up with Luffy in tow. He had inadvertently become the boy's babysitter and now he sat watching the young Monkey eat his way through piles of food while Robin dragged Franky around to mingle.

He grimaced at his glass of champagne, but picked it up and leaned-back in his chair.

Chaka and Pell had taken him to Sacramento to get his license and after hours of paperwork and FBI examinations he had finally been issued a license.[1] Zoro hadn't understood why the two guards had gone through the trouble. Vivi didn't seem to be in any threat. He languidly turned his head to where Sanji was flitting around a handful of girls.

Apparently the cook's fighting ability had really been an unwelcome discovery.

He watched as a few men moved to stand by Sanji as the girls quickly walked away. He had half expected the men to find a shiny shoe in their face for interrupting Sanji's boot-licking, but instead they were welcome with firm handshakes and a pleasant smile.

_They all look like such pompous bastards._He snatched Luffy's arm, which had been making its way ever closer to the next table. Luffy pouted and eyed the nearest cart of food.

Nami set down a steaming plate of food in front of Luffy before taking a seat across from Zoro. She set her elbows on the table, laced her fingers together, rested her chin on top, and flashed him a smile.

"The auction's starting soon. Everyone should be back in a few minutes." She watched as Luffy licked the plate of food she had just brought clean.

Zoro had brought the black-haired kid with him a few times when he trained at Vivi's and the way Sanji had taken to him, happily cooking whatever Luffy wanted, had made Nami wonder if perhaps the bundle of energy would do as a replacement for Zoro.

It was the most pedophilic thought Nami had ever had.

Luffy was only a couple years younger, but the way Sanji fussed over him reminded her of a mother hen. The kid was loud and selfish and she had become fond of his simple-minded honesty.

_I just can't imagine him in a romantic setting._ And she had tried. The best she could do was Sanji hand feeding him pieces of chocolate. Even then, the romance was between Luffy and the chocolate.

Zoro could see Sanji making his way to their table over Nami's shoulder. Now that he had a better view of the men the blonde had been talking to, he recognized them as being politicians and businessmen he'd often seen on the news. The sleazy, surrounded by scandals kind. The kind that probably had a white robe with a cone-shaped hood hanging in their closet.

Sanji was trying as hard as he could not to run to the table. The same way he had tried to avoid the men in the first place by pretending he could only speak French. Unfortunately for him, one of the men had taken classes in college.

If the event had been for work, he would have gladly thrown away his job if it meant feeling the satisfying crunch of his foot in their face, but this wasn't work. He was here as Vivi's guest and she would be the one in trouble if he made a scene.

So he had tolerated it. He had smiled and taken advantage of the fact that they only knew basic conversational French.

_Maybe I shouldn't have called myself 'Prince'._ Their reaction to his 'title' had made Sanji wonder whether or not they were aware that France was a republic.

He sighed as he noticed that the only seat left was between Franky and Zoro.

_Ofcourse._

He had barely pulled out his chair when

"Hey cook. Go fetch me some dessert."

And they were at each other's throats.

Nami pulled out a bottle of aspirin.

"It kind of makes you jealous doesn't it? Their potential?" Robin nudged her.

Nami looked at her incredulously. "Potential?"

"Well, even if your Versace suit actually works, they'll probably still fight all the time. But I bet the angry sex would be amazing."

Nami looked at her friend and then looked at the two still arguing. She popped a tablet into her mouth.

_I'm never going to be able to think of their bickering in the same way._

**Footnotes:**  
[1]: This is complete bullshit. I _tried_ to research actual laws about armed bodyguards for foreign politicians, but I couldn't find anything. Instead I have a better knowledge of California blade/knife law than I would ever have wanted. Also pretty sure if this were true, it'd still take like… months before he'd be issued his license.


	5. Chapter 5

These next two weeks are full of rock concerts, taking shots off of trannies, and trying to get my advisor to help me delay graduation for a semester (I want to graduate in Spring of '11 dammit!!)--am obviously in college for all the right reasons. THIS MEANS I have no idea when I'll be updating these next couple weeks and finals are right around the corner soooo irregular updates for the next month. (I say as if I currently have a _regular_ updating schedule).

**Word Count:**2,693  
**Disclaimer:** Odaaaaaa ownss one piece.  
**Notes:** More complaints please! The critiques are honestly very helpful. I'm afraid getting a beta is going to make this feel like an assignment sooo I'll just keep having fun with the writing and let you guys deal with my inconsistencies LOL (laaazzzyyyyy) J/KAY I'll try harder, you guys!!

* * *

At some point Zoro had found himself showing up at Vivi's flat even when he wasn't training. He couldn't remember when he'd started bringing Luffy and Usopp with him, but they were already there when he arrived.

There were bags of groceries littering the floor.

"What the hell's all this?"

Vivi poked her head out from the kitchen. "It's all for tomorrow's dinner. Sanji left a list of stuff we'd need. I'm assuming he accommodated for Luffy and that's why we ended up getting around twenty times the amount actually necessary."

Zoro looked around and saw four bags completely filled with canned corn alone.

"What time are you coming by tomorrow night? Usopp mentioned that you'd probably still be going to the dojo tomorrow?"

Tomorrow was Thanksgiving.

Most of the dojos in the city were already closed for the rest of the week, but the non-profit dojo he volunteered at made a point to stay open during the holidays.

"Yeah, but I kind of want to make sure my students have a proper Thanksgiving dinner."

The kids who attended their classes didn't have anywhere else to go. Their parents couldn't afford not to work the holiday shifts.

Vivi had a soft smile on her face. "I'm sure we can fit a few more kids in, but it'll be a bit crowded."

"If you're bringing two kids it should be fine. If it's more than that, you'll need to go out and buy your own food and cook it yourself. We have ten other guests besides Luffy."

Vivi and Zoro both looked at Nami.

"I'm sure the idiot cook can handle a few extra mouths. A handful of kids aren't going to break your bank."

_I can't believe I've been warming up to this selfish bitch._

"Sanji won't be joining us for dinner tomorrow. He always reserves Thanksgiving for his favorite clients. He'll be gone all day preparing and cooking food for them." Nami was sitting at the table with her laptop out.

"Figures he'd rather spend the holidays with the conceited and stuck-up. Birds of a feather."

Vivi looked back and forth between Zoro and Nami.

"I'm _sure_ we can feed a few more people, Nami."

Nami sat silently clicking her mouse.

"Your dojo's over by Japan Town right?" She didn't look up to see Zoro's nod. "That'll be convenient. There's a place not too far away that's like a buffet. They go all out on Thanksgiving and it'll be good food. There's a bus that will practically take you to its door"

She handed Zoro the directions and map she had drawn.

"I'd be willing to bet that your students are familiar with public transit so just give this to them and they'll know how to get you there." Nami had quickly learned that letting Zoro navigate, even with a GPS, was never a good idea.

Zoro stared at the map and then at Nami.

"I'll even pay for the dinner."

Usopp and Luffy turned, mouths open, to join Zoro's stare.

Nami icily returned their gaze.

"**What?** It's Thanksgiving."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Zoro had six kids in his last class. All of them were chatting loudly.

He had decided to end practice early and instead finished the day with _Seven Samurai_. The kids hadn't been able to stop laughing at the terrible effects and had spent the entire time reenacting the scenes in fake-Japanese.

He couldn't bring himself to scold them.

"So. Who has plans tonight?"

One boy raised his hand.

"My uncle is visiting, so mom said she'll be coming home early."

"Alright. Well then. The rest of you! We're having dinner together. Use the phone if you need to call home for permission."

"Whaaat? Is sensei taking us out for dinner?"

"He'll probably make us pay for him. Sensei looks even poorer than us."

"But isn't sensei a movie star now? Oh, but he probably has a bunch of loans to pay back."

"Oi! You runts. Just get your stuff together, we're going."

An hour and a half later they found themselves standing in front of a soup kitchen.

"Sensei should've given me the address from the beginning. This place is only 15 minutes from the dojo."

Zoro ignored the grumbling.

_A __**soup kitchen**__?? Just how cheap can that woman get?!_

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Sanji! We just got another drop off full of cranberry sauce. We're never going to get around to using all of this."

"It's fine. Make calls to the other kitchens in the area and see if they're short on any supplies. We always get such a ridiculous amount of volunteers during the holidays that it won't be too much trouble to find someone to go on runs for us."

The kitchen was crowded and every stove was fired up. Sanji wiped the sweat off his face before glancing at the food that had already been put out.

_The gravy always disappears so quickly. We're running out of ham too, but at least we have another turkey ready to go out._

He found himself staring out at the crowded dining area.

"What the hell is that bastard doing here?" He waved over a volunteer that looked particularly at a loss for what to do, flashing a smile. "Can you watch my station for a second? I'll be right back."

Zoro had considered just taking his students and crashing Nami's dinner party.

But then they had caught the scent of the food drifting out from the open door.

"I've been to a soup kitchen before. The food sure as hell didn't taste like _this_." Zoro flicked the kid's head.

"Watch your language, Pepper."

The two other boys sitting next to him snickered. All three of them had grown up in the same neighborhood as Usopp. The older boy had convinced them to take kendo lessons so they would stay out of trouble while he was in college. It was how he and Zoro had met.

The remaining two students were both girls: Rika and Aisa.

"But, he's right! My mom brings home food from the restaurant sometimes and even that's never been this good." Aisa nodded her head vigorously in agreement with Rika, who had wrapped herself around Zoro's arm.

He silently agreed as he chewed through his first bite and lazily surveyed the room.

It was loud and packed with people balancing trays heavy with food.

He watched as a figure rapidly approached their table.

_Well, that explains why the food's so damn good._

"What the hell are you doing here, ass? Don't tell me you pulled some stupid shit and got kicked out of Vivi's place? Or are you just too lazy to…." Sanji noticed the kids sitting at the table. "…umm?"

"I bet he's sensei's debt collector."

"Probably a scorned lover."

"You guys better get plenty of sleep before the next class. You'll need the energy." They stared at Zoro, paling at the threat.

" 'Sensei'? " Sanji was still staring at the children.

"He's a sparring partner." Zoro could feel his students staring at him.

"Him? He doesn't look like he'd be much of a challenge."

"Heeeey now, you punk-"

Zoro cut off Sanji's complaint. "What have I told you about judging people based on their appearance, Carrot? Remember how badly you lost when you picked a fight with Aisa just because she was a girl?"

"Sensei, are you saying you lost to that guy?"

"What? No way in hell would that fucker beat me."

Zoro watched as the kids stared at him with big smiles. He grimaced. He'd need to work on the auto-pilot profanity he spewed whenever the cook was brought up.

"Looks like I'll be running laps with you."

Sanji had been watching silently, stunned by the tender smile Zoro was showing his students. He took in the small girl with low pigtails who was happily clutching Zoro's arm as she continued to stuff food into her mouth. He wondered at how relaxed the man was. Sanji had never pegged him as the affectionate type.

"Huh. I just assumed your students would all be… like you?" Sanji figured 'moronic muscleheads' wouldn't be appropriate in their current setting.

Zoro nonetheless caught the omission and narrowed his eyes.

"Wasn't tonight dedicated to serving your High and Mighty clients?" He was having just as hard a time processing the situation.

"What? My clients? Why would I…?"

"Uhmmm excuse me. Sanji? A volunteer from another kitchen is on the phone wondering if you could give them some dish ideas. Apparently they're working with even less variety than we are."

Sanji gave Zoro one last look of confusion before shaking it off.

"I'll talk to you later." He turned and walked off.

Zoro's eyes trailed after his back. Watching as the blonde stopped to talk to an old man wrapped in rags who had grabbed his arm as he passed.

Sanji beamed as he listened to the man.

Zoro furrowed his brows.

_I've never seen him show such a genuine look of happiness, even when he's fawning over the girls._

"I think _sensei_ is the scorned lover."

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

It was past midnight by the time the staff had finished clean-up and inventory. Sanji gave his final thanks to the volunteers and watched them head towards the BART station.

He stood outside the building, relishing the feel of the crisp night air on his skin. It was refreshing after spending the day in the hot and stuffy kitchen. He took a deep breath before turning to make his way down the block.

He tripped over legs hidden by the dark shadows.

"Ow. Shit." The hidden lump shifted and stood up.

"Mosshead? What're you doing out here? Were you… _Were you waiting for me_? You left hours ago!"

Zoro stretched his arms above his head and yawned.

"I saw my students off and was on my way home when I passed by. You said you wanted to talk, so I figured we might as well get it over with."

Sanji looked at him skeptically.

"Probably more like you got lost and recognized the building and you had no other choice but to wait for me to come and save the day."

He watched as Zoro cracked his neck, ignoring him.

"You could have gone inside you know, instead of sleeping on this disgusting floor in one of the seediest parts of town." Sanji shuddered. "Really, you might want to burn those clothes as soon as you get home."

He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket.

"So, you teach kids." He mumbled around the stick as he lit it. "Why? Don't you make enough with your film gig?"

Zoro gave him a sidelong glance. "I'm not getting paid to teach at the dojo. It's something I do when I have time. What about you? Nami said you always spent Thanksgiving cooking for your high rollers. She's the one who sent me here, actually, so I'm going to assume that was just for her own amusement."

_The fucking misleading witch._

Sanji let out a puff of smoke as a corner of his mouth quirked up. "Nami's the one helping me make sure this place has enough funding to stay open. So, yeah, she definitely knows that I'm here every Thanksgiving to help out. Why were your students having dinner with _you_?"

They had started walking down the block. Zoro hoped that Sanji realized he was the one leading them.

"It was better than sending the kids to an empty house."

He was slightly ruffled.

The cook he knew wasn't the type who would spend a day slumming it in a dirty kitchen for people who weren't paying. Sanji was too high class for that.

"Why?"

"Use your words, algae-fuzz."

Zoro gave him a dirty look.

"_Why_ would you spend your time in this place, ero-cook? Aren't your shoes a little too expensive to even walk these streets? What would your fellow upper class white males think about this if they found out?"

Zoro couldn't get the smile out of his head. It didn't fit Mr. Pompous Priss Sanji.

"Watch it, shithead. You're toeing a fine line." Sanji looked at the street sign and turned the corner. Walking home didn't seem like a terrible idea at the moment.

"I'd love to spend every waking moment cooking for every starving person in this city or, ultimately, in the world, but_that_ job doesn't pay well and yet it takes a shitload of money to achieve. So I'll settle for a high-paying job and work to keep at least this one kitchen open."

"Then why the hell would you spend any of your time making small talk with those disgusting politicians? You do realize that they'd rather take an active role in withholding food from the poor just so they'd die quicker, right?"

Sanji rubbed his face.

_So he saw them at the charity auction. Shit. No wonder he thinks I'm such a fucking terrible person._

"Look, Zoro, we were there under Vivi's name and if I screwed up they'd have no problem making **her** take responsibility for it. My being at those parties is like your stunt work." Zoro looked at him doubtfully.

"You take hits that you know are coming. In a different setting you wouldn't let it happen, right? But as a stuntman _it's your job_ to take the hits. It's the same for me. When I'm there representing someone else then I have to roll with the verbal punches. If one of those guys had walked up to me on the street, I'd have no qualms about knocking him out."

Zoro exhaled, watching the white puff of his breath slowly disappear into the cold.

"It seems I was a little quick to judge you." _And after scolding Carrot, too._

Sanji raised an eyebrow.

"You realize I'm the one who's instigated most of our fights, yeah? And I haven't exactly jumped at the chance to get to know you either."

Loud music and chatter broke the silence as a drunk couple stumbled out of a bar.

"I don't mind the fights."

Sanji grinned.

"I think you're a worthy rival, too."

They walked another block in silence.

"Hey. You realize we've been heading to my apartment, right? Where do you even live?"

Zoro searched for the nearest landmark and caught the glow of the Golden Gate Bridge peeking between the buildings.

"Uhmm I live by Ingleside."

Sanji slowly turned his head.

"Over by the university?"

"Yeeaaah?"

"_Are you fucking with me?_ That's on the complete opposite end of the city! Ugh." He ran his hand through his hair. "My apartment is a block away. Crash for the night and in the morning I'll point you home."

Zoro looked at the blonde. His eyes were red and his clothes rumpled. He looked exhausted.

"No need. Buses are still running and there's a direct line to the university from here. I'll be fine."

Sanji let out an exasperated sigh. _I'm not going to waste my breath trying to convince him._

"Whatever. Just make sure to bother someone else when you get lost."

Sanji began to cross the street.

"Oi, Sanji. Thanks."

He turned to look at Zoro.

He gave a tentative smile.

"Yeah. Um. Anytime."

They gave each other curt nods and parted ways.

Zoro stopped a few minutes later.

_Where the hell are the busstops?_

He pulled out his phone wondering if Ace would still be up.

The small lit screen showed he had 3 voicemail messages and 7 missed calls.

_Who the hell?_

The screen changed, indicating an incoming call from a private number. He flipped the phone open.

**[** Zoro? **]**

The voice sounded faintly familiar.

"Yeah. Who the hell is this?"

**[** It's Pell. I need you to head over to Vivi's place immediately. Make sure you have your swords. **]**

"What's wrong? Did something happen to Vivi?"

**[** No. Nothing's wrong right now. But… We're just being cautious. Where are you? **]**

"Err I'm not quite sure. I'm about a block away from Sanji's apartment, apparently?"

**[** Perfect, he's right by The Marina, which is only a few blocks west of Vivi. Find the nearest cross street and I'll direct you. **]**


	6. Chapter 6

If you're a Muse fan, then you really need to see them live. True Fact.  
I wonder if I'll ever get around to posting during normal hours (it is currently 4:40am-ish and I have yet to sleep).

**Word Count:**2,513  
**Disclaimer:** I wiiiishhhh I owned One Piece. Well. No. I'm very glad that Oda owns One Piece, but you get it.  
**Notes:** plooootplooooooot development is apparently my weakness. But I think I know how I want things to go from now on. Enjoy and nitpick!

* * *

Zoro stood, leaning against the wall near the door, watching the three yell at each other.

"What were you _thinking_, Pell?! How could you bring a completely unrelated foreign civilian into this?"

"It's the best option we have right now! It'll take at least a week to get more guards into the country. Chaka, we both know that Zoro is just as capable of protecting her as any of the royal guard. Probably _even more_ capable."

"You're both being ridiculous!" Vivi's hands were clenched into fists. "The rebels have never posed any threat to us! Yes, sometimes they're a bit extreme, but they've never killed anyone. Not to mention they focus most of their attention on gathering support against Baroque Works."

Pell gripped Vivi's shoulders. "Princess, we understand that you trust them to not cross the line into outright violence, but the fact is that Baroque Works is in Alabasta while a number of rebels have been confirmed to be _here_."

Chaka moved to stand next to Pell.

"It would not be farfetched to believe that they have finally tired of waiting for the investigation into Baroque Works to produce results and are now looking to use you as an incentive to speed things up. Your father has been back in Alabasta for the past month. _You_ are the only plausible reason for their presence in this city."

The three of them froze as they heard clattering in the kitchen.

Zoro stuck his head around the open doorway at the sudden silence, his lips attached to a bottle of beer. He had quickly gotten bored watching the argument and had decided raiding the fridge was a more polite alternative to falling asleep against the wall.

Vivi looked embarrassed.

"Zoro, I'm so sorry! You were called here on my behalf and we haven't even explained anything to you."

He shrugged his shoulders and took another swig of beer.

"They're worried you might be in danger. I don't really need to know, well, I'd actually really rather not have to listen to the politics behind their reasoning. Booze and the freedom to carry my swords are reason enough for me to be here."

"We'd like to thank you for responding so quickly, Roronoa, but I think it'll be best if we take the princess back with us to Alabasta where we can put her under proper surveillance."

Zoro sighed and stared as Vivi fumed. Had they said 'royal' guard? They had also called Vivi 'princess' twice and it hadn't sounded like one of the over flirtatious cook's fluffy terms of endearment. He looked at his empty bottle of beer. _I wonder if they have anything stronger._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"**What the hell do you mean** _I can't see Vivi anymore_?" Sanji wasn't Vivi's personal chef. What he _was_ was a gentlemen who had taken it upon himself to make sure Vivi had a proper and varied diet. If she was studying foreign cultures, then he would teach her everything he knew about the culture of food.

At least, that was his excuse for showing up at her door everyday.

Vivi groaned and pushed Chaka away from the door. "I'm sorry, Sanji. We're in the middle of negotiating the terms of my continuing to study in the States and one condition is that you have to keep your distance until they're satisfied with the results of your background check." Her eyes were full of apology.

"Oh, my lovely lady, why ever _wouldn't_ you be able to continue your studies?" Sanji could see Pell speaking to Zoro behind her. Their faces were serious and photos of people he couldn't make out were scattered across the table.

Chaka moved to stand behind Vivi and blocked Sanji's view of the room. "That's a private matter."

Blue hair popped up over Chaka's shoulder. "I really am very sorry, Sanji, but I'll be looking forward to your cooking once this is all settled." She gave him a sad smile as Chaka closed the door.

Sanji scratched his head. "Ahhhh hadn't I wanted to stay out of this shit anyways?" He thought of Zoro and the pictures. _But there's no way I'm going to fucking let that bastard take all the credit for helping Vivi._

He pulled out his phone.

"Robin, love, could I possibly ask a favor of that delightfully clever and well-connected mind of yours?"

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"So. Zoro. I must say. I didn't expect our first hangout session upon my return to involve _helping you move into some chick's apartment_. I know the appeal of exotic foreigners, man, trust me, but living together? That's all kinds of bad news. I know Franky thinks you need a good lay, but don't give up your freedom for it! There're plenty of-"

"**ACE.** I already told you _it's not like that._ There are some political activists in town who have a history of causing problems for her family so I offered to stay with her until they leave. End of story." Zoro wasn't really sure how Ace had known he was moving. The guy had gotten back from visiting Marco in San Diego the night before. And 'moving' wasn't even accurate. Vivi had guest rooms that were already prepped and Zoro had just come home to grab his clothes.

"Also, you and Franky need to find new conversation topics."

Ace had managed to get tanner despite the signs of an early winter. It made his smile seem stand out even more. "We're just looking out for you,_bro_. So, what do you need me to help carry?" Zoro had hefted his oversized duffle bag over a shoulder.

_I've got my sword-care kit and keys._ He did a quick survey of the room. "I didn't ask you to help out because I didn't need any. I bet you haven't even stopped by to see Luffy yet."

"Luffy's used to waiting, it's no big deal. You and your new-not-girlfriend though, _that's_ a pressing issue."

"You've met her, Ace. You were there when Robin introduced her as the ambassador's daughter."

"Well, yeah, but that was business. Also, you'll need someone to help you carry the contents of your liquor cabinet."

Zoro pondered the thought. Vivi had, in fact, not had anything much stronger than beer; wine had never really been his thing.

"Fine."

The sky was starting to darken by the time Ace and Zoro had finally reached Vivi's. They had almost missed the figure sitting in the shadows near the entrance of her building, but Zoro had recognized the smell of those particular cigarettes. Which, he realized, was really a bit ridiculous. An ashtray was an ashtray.

_But still, I've fought the guy enough to know that it's the smell of __**his **__cigarettes._ Zoro knew it wasn't quite so simple, but his instincts _knew_ he was right. And that was enough for him.

"I'm pretty sure Chaka wouldn't mind getting an official restraining order, creepy-brow."

Sanji got up from the bench and walked over to the ashtray by the door. "It appears that you're my all-access pass, moldy-scalp."

"Oh? I get to be your _chaperone_? And what if I decide that not having you around would just be easier?"

"You're right. Vivi's a mature and understanding lady. She wouldn't think any less of you if you were to explain that you're not confident enough in your abilities to keep her safe if I were to be your opponent."

"Aha! Blonde with The Legs. I see you're still getting my dear Roronoa all hot and bothered with that mouth of yours. I don't think we've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I'm Ace." He held out his hand, face beaming.

"Ace. You're Luffy's brother." He decided to ignore the comment. They gave each other a firm hand shake. Sanji had almost expected him to have an obnoxiously hard shake full of challenge and manly assertion. _Right. He's not the idiot swordsman._

"I'm Sanji. And I know this stick-wielding fool would be happy surviving off of the bottles clinking in that bag you're holding, but I've had a roast marinating in that fridge for two days and it'd be a pity to let it go to waste."

"Ahh don't even worry about it. Zoro wouldn't let food go to waste, if only to avoid the wrath of my little brother."

"Fucking shit, Ace. Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" He knew the damn cook would enjoy sicking Luffy on him. They made their way to the elevator doors.

"And aren't you supposed to let me know when you're moving in with a woman?"

Sanji's ears perked up. _The oaf's got a woman?_ There was a ding as the doors opened and the three got in.

"It's temporary and it's practically a side job."

"If you insist." Ace kept a smile on his face as they rode the rest of the way in silence.

Another ding and the doors opened.

Sanji watched as Zoro shifted his large bag from one shoulder to the other. "Why didn't you drop off your shit before coming here?"

"…" They made their way down the hall.

"… You're not… with Vivi…" Zoro continued to ignore Sanji as he pulled out the key he had gotten earlier that day and pushed the door open.

"**You have got to be fucking kidding me!**" Zoro barely had time to drop his bag and unsheathe his katana before Sanji's foot came flying towards him.

Vivi looked up from her position on the couch. "Oh, Zoro, you brought Sanji with you. How nice!"

Sanji spun around at her voice and clasped his hands together. "Ahhhhh Viviiiiii. My lovely princess! It feels as though it's been forever since I last set my eyes upon your beautiful-" He was cut off as he ducked to avoid the sweep of a blade.

Luffy looked up from where he, Usopp, and Chopper had been playing charades. "Ace! You're back. Did you bring me a souvenir?" Ace pointed at the blur of arms and legs.

"I brought your favorite chef, but Zoro's busy playing with him right now."

A second later and Zoro found himself face first on the floor with Luffy sitting on his back. Sanji blinked at the sudden loss of his opponent.

"Food?" Sanji could practically see stars in his eyes.

"I can't believe you guys are still fighting with each other. Sure, you think it's just fun and harmless sparring, but you guys aren't even holding back. If someone trips they could end up with a blade through their throat or one of you might turn your head at the wrong moment and …"

Chopper had made his way over and had first examined Sanji until he was satisfied before kneeling next to Zoro.

Zoro found himself watching Sanji again. Sanji had at first looked bewildered by Chopper's fussing, but his expression had quickly softened to a look of contented adoration. His eyes continued to follow the happy cook as he began bustling about the kitchen.

He shook his head and shoved Luffy off, looking for the bag Ace had brought in.

Ace's smile got wider as he contemplated his friend's actions.

_Interesting._

"I put the bag on the table." Luffy had joined Chopper and Usopp at the table to watch Sanji cook.

"Usopp. Can you pass me one of the Genshu sake?"[1] Usopp dug through the bag. "Uhhh. I'm going to assume that's one of the bottles without an English label?" Zoro groaned and got up, pulled out two of the bottles, stared at the labels, and shoved one in the fridge. He proceeded to open the remaining bottle.

"You can read Japanese?" Sanji's eyes were focused on the swift motions of his knife as he moved through different ingredients.

Zoro gave an affirmative grunt. "I was born there."

Usopp leaned in towards Chopper. "I used to be a yakuza boss you know. I was in charge of the entire Tokyo area, which pretty much meant I controlled Japan's entire underworld! Zoro was a struggling swordsman when we met and I took him under my wing and trained him to be my right hand man…" Luffy joined Chopper as both their mouths dropped open in awe.

Zoro was staring. Again. _Has the damn blonde always smiled this much?_

"I learned how to cook Japanese food from a chef in Hawaii once, but I definitely plan on actually making it all the way across the Pacific and getting first-hand knowledge someday." He could feel Zoro's scrutinizing gaze. "My parents taught me how to speak French though?"

_What the hell is up with the staring?_ "In all honesty, I'm surprised you know Japanese, or any second language at all. Even as a kid I'd think language acquisition would be tough for someone with only one brain cell."

"You wanna fucking die shitty cook?"

Vivi quickly made her way over. "Maybe I should show you your room, Zoro. You can put your stuff away and, uhm, get some rest. I can wake you up when the food's done?"

Zoro complied and followed her down the hall. A nap sounded perfect.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sanji's cheek was resting on the hard surface of his desk.

Chaka and Pell had been recalled to Alabasta the night Zoro had brought his stuff over to Vivi's apartment. Sanji had hoped to take advantage of their absence and convince Vivi to let him stay to protect her chastity from the ogre. Said ogre had wrestled him out the door before Vivi could answer and had locked Sanji out.

He grimaced at the employee evaluation sheets in front of his nose and instead looked past the edge of the desk, beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows, and out at the ocean.

Somewhere out of view Vivi and Robin were undoubtedly spending the day at the film set, helping the actors gain a deeper understanding of their characters.

_That idiot swordsman is probably there too. _Sanji couldn't get over the fact that Zoro was not only Vivi's bodyguard; he was her **live-in **bodyguard.

_He gets to spend all day with that beautiful free-spirit. The lucky moss-headed bastard… grass-haired…astro-turf…moldy…_

He squinted out at the boats and faraway trees, looking for inspiration.

Zoro was constantly coming up with new insults for Sanji, but Sanji had found himself reusing the same handful of nicknames. He had run out.

His eyes drifted to the bright computer screen in front of him.

A few minutes of googling left Sanji with two conclusions:  
One: 'moss' had no acceptable synonyms  
Two: 'green things' was a Save The Earth campaign

Sanji had considered insulting him in French, but the French word for 'moss' was 'mousse'.

It was unsatisfying.

_Plus, he can't be upset about an insult if he can't understand it._

And then Sanji remembered that Zoro had said he was Japanese. That he _knew_ Japanese.  
Two clicks later and Sanji found himself staring at an image of a green ball of fuzz.

_Japanese moss ball: marimo_ Sanji stared at the caption for another second.

_Something this perfect can't possibly exist._

"Ma-ri-mo… marimo." He smiled.

It rolled off his tongue.

**Footnotes:**  
[1]: Generally, sake is watered down and the alcohol content is reduced, but "Genshu or "cask strength" means this sake is full strength (19.9% alcohol), not watered down" (thanks BevMo!)


	7. Chapter 7

This chapter is about twice as long as a regular chapter. I was planning on breaking it up into two parts purely for the sake of uniformity, but it seemed pointless. But, y'know, if, for some reason, it really bothers you and you know the perfect place for me to cut it in half, then I'll consider it.

**Word Count:**5,001  
**Disclaimer:** I love Odacchi and One Piece, but neither will ever be mine.  
**  
****Notes:** Anyone notice the change in rating? I DID, but there aren't any naughty bits in this. Just mentions of The Act. And Teenagers shouldn't be reading about anything sexual so, obvsly, no T rating. Harrr.

ALSO! Some of you may have noticed that I really love replying to reviews. I love it. But on FFnet I can't reply to anonymous/nonmember reviews without embedding them in my A/N (which I'd rather not do) SO if you don't have an FFnet account and would like a response to your review/question, then head on over to my Livejournal (same username, public journal) and leave an anon comment there. I usually reply within the week. Lots of love to all of you for the kind words & incredibly helpful input~

* * *

Christmas was around the corner.

Zoro sat wrapped in a warm coat and looked around the warehouse. He could see the light drizzle of rain through a propped open door. He still couldn't figure out why they had decided to film a movie about a desert country in the Bay Area. LA was maybe five hours west of both the Mojave Desert and Death Valley.

_So why the hell did they instead decide to go seven hours north where we have erratic weather and the promise of rain?_

But he wasn't really complaining. The threat of rain meant today would be the last day of filming most action scenes and then the focus would shift to finishing the indoor shots.

He watched Usopp run around the set and glanced at the clock. Zoro was going to use his time off to visit the dojo. He hadn't had the time to go back much since Thanksgiving. Usopp had decided to tag along and visit his friends.

A couple weeks had passed since Zoro had agreed to keep an eye on Vivi.

And nothing had happened.

For the first week, Zoro had accompanied Vivi to classes and Vivi had come with him to filming. Once the week had passed, uneventful, she had tried to get Zoro to move back home, insisting she had never been in any real danger in the first place.

They had finally agreed that Zoro would continue living in her guest room, but he would go about his day as he normally would, as long as a (trusted) someone was with Vivi at all times. This generally meant that Franky and Robin would be with her on set and Luffy, Usopp, or Ace would volunteer to take her out on miscellaneous runs whenever Zoro was busy.

Chakka and Pell hadn't been much help. All they had been able to do was confirm that the rebels that had been spotted in San Francisco could not be found in Alabasta. And as long as this was the case, Vivi would have to be kept under surveillance.

He sympathized with her. _But if she's really a fucking princess, then she's lucky they didn't put her under house arrest._

"BOORRIINNGG." Zoro looked up to see Luffy perched on a ledge above the door, picking his nose. He was obviously regretting his decision to beg Usopp to take him on set for a day.

"Man, Zoro. I thought that being on a film set would be fun, but nothing's real! I'd rather watch you and Sanji fight." Zoro picked up a nearby can of soda and chucked it at Luffy when he started trying to flick his boogers onto the people milling about below him.

Luffy fell off the ledge, but Zoro had learned early on that the boy could rebound from most physical injuries at a terrifying rate. Chopper was fascinated by it. It was one of the reasons the med student had begun hanging out with them; he wanted to observe Luffy in his natural habitat in an attempt to understand his unusual recovery speed. And Luffy had a knack for getting hurt.

He took another glance at the clock. He had just enough time to take a nap before Usopp would be done. He didn't know why Luffy and Usopp even asked to follow him to the dojo anymore. They always ended up bored and in trouble for goofing off with the equipment, ultimately spending the day serving out punishments for the mess they'd inevitably make.

_I really should just send the two of them home._

He was looking forward to the time off and the chance to just laze around for once.

**XXXXXXXXX**

**vhhhrrrr**

**vhhhrrrr**

Zoro sat up in his bed, reaching for his swords.

**vhhhrrrr**

_Who the hell is calling me at_ he looked at the glowing alarm clock _**three in the morning.**_

He fumbled for his phone as it stopped vibrating and lit up, indicating **1 missed call: Franky**.

He rubbed his eyes. One of the benefits of not having to go in for filming was no longer having to wake up before 5am. He pressed the send button.

"It's three in the fucking morning, Franky."

**[** I know. Sorry, bro, but Brook needs some help with his ship and Vivi's place is right by The Marina. **]**

"Repairs? Isn't that Galley-La's thing? Why are you taking care of it?"

**[** Usually, but they've got their hands full with a large Coast Guard commission. Paulie said he'd send over anyone he could, but Brook has a group scheduled for 8am and we'll need to fit in a test run before then. **]**

Zoro was already pulling on his pants.

"Give me a minute. I'll be there."

**[**Kiwi and Mozu should already be on their way to pick you up. WAIT FOR THEIR CALL. **]**

"Yeeaahh yeaahh." He hung up and called Ace. "Sorry to wake you, but do you think you can cover for me at Vivi's? I'm heading out." He heard a grunt and a click and assumed it was a yes.

Fifteen minutes later he was standing at a boatyard neighboring the docks. Franky and a few of his Franky House Family members were securing a mobile boatlift.[1] Zoro took a long look at the slings hanging from the lift and watched as they were slowly lowered into the water.

He shivered. _Dammit._ This definitely wasn't how he had wanted his vacation to start. "Well, Kiwi, Mozu, point me towards my wetsuit."

Zoro followed them onto Brook's ship which was tethered to a nearby dock, waiting for the lift to be set-up. He pulled a wetsuit out from one of the containers in the cabin.

_Isn't skinny dipping in ice water considered training?_ He paused before slipping his arm into the remaining sleeve. _Chopper would kill me._ And somehow, Chopper always knew when Zoro had done something reckless.

He had a creeping suspicion that Robin was involved. The woman had eyes everywhere.

"Yoho Zoro! Isn't today a lovely morning to be out and about?" A lanky man with a respectable afro adorned with a sleek top hat hopped down from an upper deck.

"It's a bit chipper and a bit early, but if that's your thing…" Zoro adjusted the goggles around his head.

"I just love cold weather! I'm a sea-faring man. If I couldn't handle being chilled to my bones then I'd never survive out on the ocean waters." Brook was putting on layer after layer of heavy coats. The guy was about as bad as Chopper when it came to actions matching their words.

"Good luck with that, Brook. Looks like they're about done with the set up so you might want to start her up." They said their goodbyes and Brook gave his thanks before Zoro did a few quick stretches and jogged over to the lift. They had started guiding The Rumbar directly over the submerged slings. Franky looked over, acknowledging Zoro with a wave.

"Really appreciate your running out here, bro."

"I'm getting breakfast right?"

Franky chuckled. "First we need you to make sure the three slings are in place so we can haul out the boat and begin repairs. And really it's just minor damage, but Brook's taking a tour out so… safety first. And then, yes. We'll get you some breakfast."

The air was suddenly filled with a loud mechanical whirring as the lift started moving, pulling the slings up taut around the hull of Brook's ship before stopping with just enough slack for readjustment. Zoro pulled on his goggles and nodded to Franky. He felt the shock of cold water as he slipped off the dock and dove under the boat.

This was definitely not how he had wanted to start his vacation.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Put that cigarette out!"

"You're so damn noisy. It's barely six-thirty in the morning, Patty. There aren't even any fucking customers around." He deliberately blew a cloud of smoke towards the larger man. "And since when did the Baratie ever have a no-smoking policy?" Patty grumbled loudly as he disappeared into the kitchen.

Sanji had put in for a few weeks of leave.

A week ago, he had taken Robin and Nami out to see a musical and have dinner as an early Christmas present. Though he knew they'd still be getting presents on the day as well.

_I don't need holidays as an excuse to dote upon the lovely women._

The night had started off wonderfully. They had caught a show in the late afternoon with front and center seats. Sanji only wished he could have held his bladder until they had arrived at the restaurant where he had gotten a reservation.

Instead he had been ambushed in the men's room during intermission by a couple of the shady politicians; they had brought a French interpreter with them and had slipped him an invitation to another charity auction.

Sanji wasn't sure which implication creeped him out more: that they had known he had been holding tickets for this particular show or that they had been dragging an interpreter along with them _just in case_ they ever ran into him again.

The invitation had also been addressed to "The Prince".

_Guess I should be comforted by the fact that they still don't seem to know my name._

The encounter had made him seriously consider taking time off from catering. The fewer well-funded events he went to, the fewer the chances of running into them again. He really didn't want to lose his job and the trust of all his clients. And Sanji had reached his limit on how much he could tolerate them.

How much he could listen to their praise of the Tenryuubito for funding "admirable research concerning the economic benefits of human trade."

Sanji slammed his head down into the top of the table he was sitting at. He stared into the wood grains. His catering career wasn't worth compromising his morals. Even superficially. _'s not like catering's my dream job._

He had thrown their invitation away as soon as he had gotten home. He was disgusted that he hadn't shoved it down their throats right then and there. A part of him felt that he should be proud he had so much self-control. The rest of him was ashamed that **not**kicking their asses had even been an option.

That it was the option he had taken.

"If I'd had known that all you were gonna do was stink up the place and cry all over the tables then I would've booted you out on your ass the second you stepped foot back in here, like I should've done in the first place." Zeff was standing at the foot of the stairs leading up to his office.

"Crying? Your age finally affecting your eyesight, decrepit old man?" Sanji pushed himself off the table. "You can't smell my cigarettes over the stench of fish, sea lions, and Patty's fucking shitty cooking anyhow."

"You forget that you were kicked out of here because no one could stand _your_ piss flavored soup?" Patty had come in from the kitchen.

"What's that, wannabe-Popeye?"

Zeff grabbed the two chefs by their collars. "Take your little bitch fight outside before you upset any customers."

"There aren't any customers, geezer! It's _six in the fucking morning_. It's freezing outside, we're not at the main dock, and we rarely got any customers before seven even when I worked here!"

The front door let out a creak as someone walked into the restaurant. "You guys are open right?"

Patty's mouth curved into a smug grin. Sanji yanked himself out of Zeff's grip.

He spun to face the door, snarling. "**You fucking would.**"

Zoro groaned.

_Too early. Is relaxing on my day off really too much to hope for?_

"I 'fucking would' _what_? Come to eat at a restaurant that's open and happens to be conveniently docked by the boatyard I was working at? Then, yeah. I fucking **would**."

Sanji noticed that Zoro's hair was dripping. So was the thin form-fitting wetsuit he was wearing.

"Hey, jackass. Do you want us to serve you in the doorway or are you gonna take a seat at some point?" _Idiot's going to get sick standing around like that._

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING CALLING OUR BELOVED CUSTOMER A 'JACKASS'?" Patty hurled himself forward and his fist smashed into a table that Sanji had kicked up just in time to use as a shield.

"What about you? Are you going to keep ruining furniture or are you going to take your_precious_ customer's order?" Sanji hadn't missed the hint of fatigue that had made the swordsman's already dark eyes seem even darker.

Patty clasped his hands together and practically skipped over to Zoro, who had slumped into one of the booths.

Zeff hid a smile as he watched Sanji disappear up the staircase and decided to ignore the pile of splintered wood. He'd have the new waiter clean it up when he got in.

Zoro had been slightly disappointed when he had realized Sanji wouldn't be the one making his breakfast.

_I haven't had his cooking since the night Ace got back._

He tried to assure himself that it was the food he had missed the past couple weeks. Definitely **not** the long-legged closet-humanitarian himself.

_What the hell. Why would I ever…_

He was going to blame this on Ace and the way he constantly found a way to bring the blonde up in every damn conversation. As though he wanted to be sure that Zoro was very much aware of Sanji's absence.

He settled into the booth. Now that he was no longer moving around, he was beginning to register just how cold it was.

Patty still hadn't brought out Zoro's food by the time Sanji came down the stairs, arms laden with a bundle of blankets, towels, and clothes. He knew he was overdoing it. Zoro had never been one to take the time to savor his food and Sanji suspected that he'd be out of the restaurant within minutes of being served.

He dropped the bundle next to Zoro and slid into the empty side of the booth.

"Stop dripping all over our shit." Zoro looked at the pile next to him. "What're you even doing wandering around soaking wet this early in the morning? I thought the movie you were working on was set in Alabasta? Not very many diving scenes, I'd assume."

Zoro grabbed a towel before pulling an oversized hoodie and a pair of sweats from the pile. "They're filming other scenes for now. I was helping Franky with a repair and I forgot to get my clothes from Brook's ship before they went out for a test run." He reached back and tugged on the zipper of his wetsuit.

Sanji tried not to stare as Zoro peeled off the top of the suit, exposing well-toned muscles and a scar mottled chest. He still couldn't fathom how the man could work-out as much as he did and not look like a monstrous body builder.

_And he should be grateful he doesn't. Having overbuilt mountains of muscle would make him a helluva lot less attractive._

His thoughts snapped back to the night of the musical.

And why it hadn't gotten any better after the bathroom encounter.

Nami's **Question**.

Robin's **Input**.

Sanji scrambled to stand up, muttering something about coffee, before rushing into the kitchen. He took a few deep breaths once the doors swung shut and let the comforting scents of cooking breakfast distract him. He closed his eyes, leaning against a counter.

They had been eating dinner when Nami had said, very nonchalantly, "Sanji, I've been meaning to ask, have you ever slept with a guy?"

He had spluttered incoherently for a while before finally choking out a very solid "**Ofcourse not!**"

"That's too bad," Nami had looked disappointed, "I heard that guy-on-guy sex is better than het sex and I was hoping you'd be able to confirm it."

Then Robin had spoken up. She had said "Apparently, prostate stimulation results in stronger orgasms. You really shouldn't limit yourself, Sanji. Though I do understand if you've never been tempted. A weaker man would never be able to handle your confidence and stubborn nature. You'd have to find someone with equal or greater strength, which, in itself, would be a bit of a challenge for you. If you ever get the chance, you really should take it."

Then they had continued to eat. They ignored the look of complete shock on Sanji's face.

No one had said it.

It had been deafening how loudly Nami and Robin were Not Saying It.

But it was there. Hanging in the air.

_Zoro._

He had filed for a leave of absence the next day.

"**If you're not going to do shit around here then get the fuck out!**" Sanji opened his eyes just in time to see Zeff's wooden leg connect with his face.

"Dammit you fucking old geezer! You're the one who told me to stay away from the stoves!"

"You're damn right you're staying away from my stoves. You're not a chef here anymore, so get your ass out there and bring our customer his food." Sanji lifted himself off the floor, grumbling, and grabbed the tray of food.

Zoro was still the only person in the dining area. He was fully clothed (_Thank God_) and snoozing under the pile of blankets.

He set the food down and nudged the sleeping mass. "Food, you Neanderthal."

Zoro cracked an eye open and yawned a "thanks" before shoveling the food into his mouth. Sanji settled back into his original seat. He had no reason to be flustered. The girls could make all the suggestions they wanted. Sanji would always be an admirer of the softer sex. Never the hard ridges and rough skin of the man sitting in front of him.

Sanji crushed a cigarette into his mouth.

"So. What're _you_ doing here? December is full of all kinds of fancy parties for you to fuss over." Zoro was still confused as to why the blonde had jumped up and ran off, but he had returned with food and Zoro was warm and content and decided he really didn't care enough to ask.

Sanji took a sip of the coffee he had remembered to grab for himself before answering.

_Because Nami and Robin never eat at the Baratie._ "I just wanted a change of scene." The front door opened and a small group of chattering tourists walked in, cameras in hand. "That's right. You mentioned something about Brook. Tall, skinny, takes people out to go whale watching?"

"Yeah. Franky and Robin introduce you guys too?"

"No, we get a lot of families and tourists like them," he pointed to the energetic group, "in here the mornings he has a group scheduled to go out. Brook's pretty much a regular here."

"He's quite the character."

Sanji looked out the window at the dark water. "Do you know his story?"

Zoro pushed his empty plate aside. "I think I remember something about how he used to do research on whale response to human music? But then during one of their research trips the rest of his team died in an accident. Something like that?"

"Something like that." Sanji downed the rest of his coffee. "A sperm whale ended up in this bay once, attracted by the music his research team had been broadcasting. It had been the only time they'd ever gotten such a strong reaction from a whale, so they tried to track it. Granted, Brook's a lot older than he looks so satellite tagging wasn't around yet and it was during one of their attempts to find that particular whale that he lost his team. He also lost funding for the study so he turned to whale watching tours as an excuse to go out whenever he could and keep looking."[2]

"Now that's dedication." Zoro supposed waking up early to work on The Rumbar wasn't the worst way to start off his vacation after all.

"Are you heading back to Vivi's?"

Zoro looked at a clock hanging on the far wall. He had already been at the Baratie for an hour. "No, she's been asked to do a cameo for the movie so she'll be on set with Robin. I think I'll be heading over to the dojo, do some training and see if sensei needs any help with classes for the day."

Sanji looked around the room. A few more people had entered the restaurant. "Well then, Brook and Franky were just going out for a test run right? They should be back by now so you can grab your stuff. I'll meet you out front when you're done."

"What?" Zoro's eyes had barely left Sanji's face since he had finished eating, but the blue eyes hadn't looked at him once.

"I'm going with you. A dojo would be a better change of scene than this dump of a restaurant." Sanji got up and held his hand out, waiting for Zoro to hand him the blankets.

In truth, being at the Baratie was all too comfortable for him. It was easy. It was familiar. It was also taking a step back to his safety blanket.

It wasn't at all what he needed.

_And, what, following Zoro to his dojo is a step forward?_ Sanji decided he really needed to stop thinking about things. To stop thinking about Zoro's relentless staring.

After putting away the blankets and having a farewell shouting match with Patty, Sanji made his way outside and found Zoro sitting on the dock outside.

Zoro looked up. Sanji was carrying bags of containers filled with food. "You're going to make my students fat."

"I never hear you complaining when it's _your_ beer belly I'm feeding."

"You really shouldn't be worrying about me when your gut's the one getting flabby from all that standing around in a kitchen."

The fact that Sanji was carrying food was the only thing that had kept the two moving towards the dojo instead of stopping and fighting right in the middle of the street.

Zoro slid the main door open and they could hear the sound of people moving about in one of the rooms further back. Sanji admired the traditional Japanese architecture and décor as he followed Zoro down one of the halls. Zoro opened the door to a group of adults packing up. A few teenagers in kendo uniforms were sitting against the wall. Sanji looked at his watch. It was eight o'clock. _Must be the transition between classes._

"Ah, Koshiro-sensei." Sanji stood to the side as Zoro went to greet a smiling man that stood out amidst the students. He set the food on the floor and looked at the students still in the room. He knew he looked horribly out of place in his suit, but it was his uniform even in the ring. Though he did feel slightly bare without his shoes.

"Zoro says you're his sparring partner?" Sanji found himself looking into kind eyes smiling behind round glasses.

"Mmm you could say that." He noticed the man in question was no longer in the room.

"He went to change into his kendogi." At Sanji's blank stare he added "Think… a kimono specifically used for training in Japanese sword-fighting. Would it be terribly rude of me to ask if I could watch the two of you spar? It's been a long time since I've seen Zoro so satisfied with his opponent. We have extra kendogi if you'd like to change as well?"

Sanji grinned. _Hell yeah I want to fight._ "I'd hate to embarrass one of your instructors in front of his students."

"There you go again, mouthing off without anything to back it up, _Sanji_." He gave him a hard look.

_Keep it clean._

Trash talking was something the dojo made a point to discourage.

Sanji caught the look. "I guess I'll have to present evidence, _Zoro_." He stripped off his blazer and loosened his tie enough to slip it over his head. Gently setting them both next to the pile of food.

Zoro's eyes lingered as Sanji finished unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves before continuing to undo the top few buttons of his dress shirt. _The guy really doesn't get out in the sun much._

Sanji was looking directly at Zoro this time. Watching the way the rest of Zoro's face looked as his eyes took in Sanji. Wondering if the eyes were looking for weaknesses. Or if they were simply…_looking_. "What are those? You don't really think I'm going to stand for you fighting me with fake swords, right?"

There wasn't much for Sanji to look at with Zoro in his kendogi. Especially not compared to the eyeful he had gotten at the Baratie. But he had noticed the wooden swords Zoro was carrying.

"I'll fight with my bokken while you fight without your shoes." They faced each other in the middle of the room.

"Um, excuse me, sensei. Why would fighting with shoes be significant? And where is your opponent's bokken?" One of the kendogi clad teenagers had spoken up.

Zoro didn't answer. Instead he looked straight at Sanji and placed one of the three swords between his teeth. The move had surprised Sanji the first time Zoro had done it, but any mocking he had prepared had been immediately silenced the second their fight had begun.

Zoro could feel his blood pumping. It had been weeks since they had last fought.

_I've missed his cooking and now the__**bickering**__?_ He had no idea when the blonde had become such an established part of his life, but sometime in the handful of months since meeting each other, it had happened.

They both moved at the same time. Zoro had lunged forward while Sanji flipped onto his hands, legs spinning.

Zoro had always admired Sanji's agility. The absolute balance, speed, and precision. He rolled to avoid a kick aimed at his head. He wondered if there was some sort of training the blonde had gone through to gain the ability to spin that fast, upside-down, without getting dizzy. _The guy has his eyes open, right? Otherwise he'd never be able to land his kicks._

He watched as the lithe body flipped back onto bare feet.

Sanji came to the conclusion that one of the biggest disadvantages of his fighting style was the range of movement it required, specifically how very little time he spent facing his opponent. He was constantly twisting his body around in order to gain enough momentum for his kicks and more often than not he would become well acquainted with his competitor's shoes rather than their face. Sanji had seen Zoro's fights with Pell and Chakka, but _I wonder what it looks like when__**we**__fight._

There were a few more kicks.

A few more blocks.

A few more missed swings

They heard Koshiro clear his throat. "As technically impressive as this match is, it's never going to end if you're both on the defense. Someone's going to have to do more than a counterattack."

Black eyes met blue at the words. The two had been too busy trying to watch each other to really focus on fighting.

Sanji knew that Zoro was stronger than him by far. But he held the advantage in speed. Their strengths and weaknesses complimented each other perfectly.

_" You really shouldn't limit yourself, Sanji…_

_You'd have to find someone with equal or greater strength..._

_If you ever get the chance, you really should take it."_

He'd really need to work on that whole 'thinking' thing. As much as he adored Nami and Robin, he wasn't sure how he'd ever be able to _not_ blame them for this.

Sanji watched a drop of sweat roll down Zoro's neck.

_Fuck it._

Zoro saw the change in the set of Sanji's jaw. The sudden determination.

They pounced at the same time. Zoro's bokken connected on the first swing as Sanji took the hit and used the opening to hook his leg around Zoro's knee, bringing the both of them down onto the hard mat.

Zoro lifted himself off of Sanji, ready to ask what the hell he had been trying to do. Until the blonde leaned up and whispered,

"Wanna fuck, _marimo?_"

Zoro froze. He stared down at the eyes bright with confidence. He was still struggling to make it past 'marimo' and how _good_ it had sounded coming from Sanji. The back of his mind registered the fact that it was supposed to be an insult, but hearing his native tongue coming from the lips of the blonde below him, even if it was just one word, drowned out any protests.

And really. That was all the deliberation he needed.

He stood up and dusted himself off, clearing his throat. "I think it's about time we let the next class get started."

Sanji followed suit, grabbing the blazer and tie he had set aside.

"So you won't be staying, Zoro? Your friend is welcome to stay as well." Koshiro made no comment on the abrupt end to the match.

Zoro shook his head. "The chef reminded me that we already made plans for lunch. I'll be sure to stop by the next time I have a chance." He slipped away and quickly changed back into his clothes.

When he came back out Sanji had handed the food over to Koshiro and was standing at the dojo's entrance, completely relaxed.

Zoro wanted to say something. Wanted to confirm that Sanji understood what the hell he had said. But somehow, he knew that the absence of words and the heavy silence it brought with it were confirmation enough.

Sanji headed towards the bus stop, his ears ringing with the sound of Zoro's footsteps behind him.

_What the hell did I just do._

**Footnotes:**

[1] This here is what they're using: www[DOT]thephoenician[DOT]net/boat-lift[DOT]htm

[2] Mostly we get humpback whales and the occasional blue whale in the SF bay. Sperm whales are also a lot harder to spot because they have longer and deeper dives. (Thank You, seminar I took during my first year and thought I'd never have a use for!)


	8. Chapter 8

You know what I learned from this chapter? I will never be a porno writer.  
Never.

By the by. I totally would've chickened out with this chapter and it would've taken another two weeks to muster up the 'courage' to write it if it weren't for you lovely people. You all are my muse!

**Word Count:**3,413  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece wouldn't be worth anything without Odacchi at the helm.  
**  
****Notes:** This is how it's gonna work: LJ gets front row seats to the smex while FFnet peeks in through a dirty window. Which means both have the sex, but no bits will be showing in the clean version. I didn't just cut out all the yaoi, I rewrote/reworked it so it's uhhhhh more "tasteful"? (I never even used the word 'thrust'!) Okay, so I used the word 'arousal' once, but I didn't _show_ it. -- I am enhancedbycolor in both realms

Also! Because I'm at such a complete loss as to how this scene turned out, critical eyes are very welcome (especially if I am ever going to write another scene like this hahahaaa)

Enjoooyyyyy

PORNY:(enhancedbycolorDOTlivejournalDOTcom/4593DOThtml)

* * *

It had been a terrible idea.

It still _was_ a terrible idea.

_WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!_

Sanji was freaking out. He hadn't thought this through.  
**It** had just… slipped out.

He stole a quick look towards Zoro. The bastard was completely composed. Lost in thought.

Sanji wanted to kick his face in.

But they were on a bus.

A Fucking Bus.

_We should've just done it right there. In front of his students and sensei. It'd be less embarrassing than sitting here __**thinking**__._

He wondered why the green-haired idiot hadn't said anything. He'd obviously agreed to the 'request'. _Otherwise we wouldn't be on this bus. Heading towards my apartment._

Sanji was about ready to pull his hair out. He couldn't back out now because he was the one who had initiated it.

_**FUCK.**_

"Where the hell did you learn that word?" Sanji's head snapped up to look at Zoro, who was sitting across from him.

"What?" Sanji had half expected his voice to crack.

Zoro looked him directly in the eyes. "'Marimo'. Where the hell did you pick _that_ up. You said you've never been to Japan right?"

_Right. I said that too, huh?_ Sanji hadn't meant to say it. He had planned on using his new weapon when everyone would be around to see Zoro's reaction. And then he'd savor the opportunity to explain exactly what the word meant to the rest of their friends.

But even that hadn't quite worked out as planned.

Zoro hadn't been pissed or surprised. He had just _looked_ at Sanji and that _look_ had only fueled Sanji's _what? Lust? Insanity?_

Sanji held back from visibly gnawing on his lip. _We should've just sprinted to my place. Running wouldn't be sitting. And staring. And waiting._

Zoro sat looking at him expectantly.

_And talking._ "Right, I, uhm," he sure as hell wasn't going to tell Zoro he'd _googled_ it, "I was watching a TV special. On rare water foliage."

"What? You often watch specials on water plants?"

"It was rare _edible_ foliage?"

"You don't fucking _eat_ marimo. Though I guess a shitty cook like you might."

"Call me a shitty cook again and I'll shove some actual shit down your throat so you'll have something for comparison."

"The breakfast I had this morning was all the comparison I needed to realize you've been serving shit this entire time."

"Are you trying to tell me that walking meat sack Patty is a better chef? You just fucking wait. When I'm done with you you'll never be able to enjoy food made by someone else's hands."

Zoro was pretty sure he'd never be able to fully grasp what went on in the chef's mind. _Does he seriously think that threatening to serve me the best food I've ever eaten is discouraging?_

He looked out the window behind Sanji. "You really do live _right on_ the marina."

"Not exactly." Sanji turned to look behind him. "Oh, fuck! We missed our stop." He reached up and yanked on the bell cord.

A grin made its way onto Zoro's face. "Sorry? _Was I_ the one who just pointed out that we're off course?"

Suddenly Sanji's head was clear. Zoro wasn't freaking out. Zoro was completely poised. Sanji could only blame the awkwardness of the situation on himself. And there was no way he was going to lose his head over something the swordsman in front of him was handling with ease. He shook his head and let out a sigh of pity.

"Well, being directionally challenged, I guess you've got to take any victory you can get." He hopped off the bus as the doors opened; Zoro was close behind.

They stood next to each other, watching as the bus pulled away. Sanji looked around to get a hold of his bearings and then turned to lock eyes with the swordsman.

The street was silent.

Only the occasional call of a seagull and the gently crashing waves broke the silence.

The silence was bearing down on him.

"Fuck this. We're running." And Sanji tore down the street, heading away from the ocean.

Zoro stood still. Watching the distance between him and the suit-clad blonde grow. "Does he really think I'm so desperate for a fuck that I'd go running after him?"

Zoro had never slept with a guy. He'd been dragged to a Halloween bash in The Castro one year and had been groped a plenty, but he had never been tempted.[1] The thought of exposing himself to a complete stranger had never held any sort of appeal for him.

There was no other time or place where he was more physically vulnerable than in the middle of sex

But Sanji wasn't a stranger.

Quite the opposite, actually. Zoro was very much well-acquainted with the blonde's physical capabilities.

_The utter control he has over his limbs. His endurance. The strength in those legs. A contortionist's flexibility._

Zoro found himself sprinting after Sanji.

It wasn't desperation.

It was the thought of all the practical applications those fighting skills would have in bed. It would be a stupid opportunity to let slide.

He sped up. The blonde was quick and Zoro didn't want to risk losing him around a corner. The distance eventually shrank and Sanji slowed to a stop in front of a high-rise. Only the slight tinge of pink coloring the pale cheeks and the stray strands of hair that clung to the back of his neck gave any hint to the sudden burst of cardio. Sanji's breathing was slow and steady.

_Stamina? Check._ Zoro approved.

Sanji looked at Zoro with an air of indifference and pushed the large glass doors of the building open and walked into a lightly furnished room.

"You wouldn't happen to live right here in the lobby, would you?"

Sanji looked offended. "And have a view of the falafel shop across the street? Nope. We're going… up." The elevator doors opened as if on cue.

Zoro grinned. "Oh? You sure you can handle the elevator? Wouldn't you rather just run up the stairs?"

Sanji had been hoping the swordsman had missed or just brushed off his fidgeting. "You're awful mouthy for a guy who's just chased me this entire way."

"Pretty sure my being 'mouthy' can only serve to _benefit_ you."

Sanji could feel the heat creeping up his face. _Dammit! __**I'm **__the one who started this so why the hell am I blushing like a fucking high school girl?_

He shoved the swordsman against the elevator wall, reiterating the words said earlier in the dojo, "There you go again, mouthing off without anything to back it up, _Zoro_," and crushed his lips against teeth.

Zoro was caught off guard, but the adrenaline from the run helped him quickly get over the shock and his instincts took over as he accepted the rough kiss, the fingers of one hand gripping Sanji's hip while the other was splayed against neck, reinforcing the contact.

And it was _rough_.

It was neither tender nor passionate. There were no pretenses. It was simply raw.

Sanji had a hand pressed flat against the wall above Zoro's shoulder and as the elevator doors slid open with a light ding his fingers curled into the other man's shirt, pulling as he stumbled backwards out the elevator, refusing to break the contact for any reason other than to take another breath.

Zoro pulled away just as Sanji backed into the apartment door directly across from the elevators. "Shouldn't we…" There was a jingle of keys and Sanji nudged the door open, slipping off his shoes and blazer as he stepped further into the dark apartment. "Well, that's convenient." He followed the blonde in and kicked the door shut before pulling off his boots.

Sanji stood a few feet ahead. He dropped his tie on the floor and began unbuttoning from the top of his shirt. His gaze never left the dark eyes before him.

Zoro walked forward and bent his head down to sweep his lips over the exposed neck as his hand worked to undo the blonde's leather belt and untuck the dress shirt. Sanji began guiding him down a hall which eventually opened into a large room with a huge window that covered half of the back wall, through which there was a perfect view of the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge. _I can see why he'd choose this over the falafel shop._

"We're not doing it in my fucking kitchen." Sanji tugged him into another room where heavy curtains blocked out the sun, not yet high in the sky. Zoro had lost his shirt at some point on their way over. He pulled off his pants which were already half undone.

Sanji pushed Zoro down to sit at the edge of his bed as he shimmied out of his slacks. They stilled, taking a moment to check each other out.

Zoro reached over and pulled the blonde towards him. Sanji was all lean muscle and milky white skin. "How the hell do you stay in shape when you never actually _do_ shit."

Sanji scoffed and planted his knees on the bed, straddling Zoro's lap. "Just because I don't spend every waking second lifting weights doesn't mean I completely forgo working out. The real question is why _you_ don't look like our dear Governator with your daily training regimen."[2]

Zoro felt Sanji shiver as he slid his hands up the exposed thighs to rest on slim hips. "Because I don't take steroids and I'm well fed." He pulled Sanji closer to him.

Up to this point they had carefully avoided acknowledging their arousals, choosing to instead simply dip their toes in. But this. _This_ was Sanji jumping into shark infested waters. He pushed Zoro's back into the bed.

They grew more confident with each touch, their kisses becoming battles for dominance. Sanji soon found himself sprawled under Zoro as the slightly larger man flipped their positions. As the rough hands continued to roam over his body, Sanji grew impatient. He ran a tongue over Zoro's three dangling earrings and whispered, "If I had wanted to get-off from a hand job, then you wouldn't be here."

A shiver ran down Zoro's spine. He wasn't sure whether it was because of his ear's sensitivity or because of Sanji's words. Either way, his hands slipped further down to rest on muscled thighs as he pushed Sanji's legs further apart.

"Hey. Why the hell am I the one on-"

"You're the bottom. Take it like a man." Zoro smirked.

Everything else had been on autopilot. Touching. Exploring. They both knew how to work an erection. It was easy and simple and completely instinct-driven.

He _knew_ what to do. But his complete lack of experience with a guy made him hesitate.

They were motionless. It felt like they were holding their breath.

"If you want me to take it like a man, then you need to stop giving it like a woman." Sanji squirmed uncomfortably. He wasn't necessarily _averse_ to being the catcher. He was just going to have to make sure the fucker didn't mistake it for him _submitting_.

"What the hell does that even mean?" Zoro suddenly felt awkward, hovering over Sanji, unsure of how to take the next step.

"It means **do something with your **_**fucking **_**dick** because I'm starting to forget that you actually have one!"

A deep rumble of laughter made its way out Zoro's mouth. "Just how many times are you going to ask me to fuck you today, love-cook?"

Sanji glared up at him. "I wouldn't have bothered if I had known just how long it'd take for you to get to the actual _fucking_, marimo."

Zoro prepared to appease the demanding cook and rested his forehead against Sanji's shoulder, sighing.

"You wouldn't happen to have any lube?"

Sanji was the one who burst out laughing this time. "I don't even fucking care anymore! There's lotion on the night stand, maybe some Vaseline in the drawers? Unless you want to get up? Then there's oil in the kitchen and conditioner in the bathroom and I'm sure-" Sanji was silenced by a kiss.

"You talk way too fucking much." Zoro could feel Sanji smile against his mouth. He reached over and grabbed the lotion from the stand. He twisted off the cap in order to bypass the restrictive pump.

Zoro grinned.

And everything was put back in motion.

Sanji began to protest as Zoro took his time prepping him. "Right. Right." Zoro leaned down and nipped at Sanji's lips. "Let's get to the fucking."

He took in the slightly parted lips and the blonde hair framing crystal blue eyes.

_I fucking love those eyes._ Zoro moved, watching the flushed face below him for any sign of pain or discomfort.

Sanji squeezed his eyes shut and Zoro stopped. He cracked one lid open. "Keep going. I'm fine." Zoro didn't look convinced. "Fucking shit, Zoro. If we're doing this then we sure as hell aren't doing it half-assed. Pun intended. Now fucking _MOVE_."

And he did.

"Mnn, shit Sanji… you're so _fucking_ **hot**."

Sanji wrapped his legs around Zoro, heels digging into hard muscles. He draped an arm over his eyes as he neared his climax.

"Fu-fuuck. Ahh.. Zoro.. I.. ngghnnn… _shit_. **Harder**."

Zoro grunted and acquiesced.

Initially, Sanji had had every intention of pretending he wasn't feeling it nearly as much as he actually was. But each time he had looked up at the man above him he had been met with piercing lust-filled eyes and Zoro's heavy panting and the way his mouth and hands never stopped wandering and each shock of pleasure that shot up his spine had completely driven the thought away.

Their lips met, teeth nipping at skin in a sloppy kiss as they found their release close together. Zoro lowered Sanji's slightly quivering legs and finally dropped face first into the bed beside him, arm draped over the blonde's defined stomach. Sanji pulled at the blankets bunched up at the end of the bed and covered them both before drifting to sleep.

**oOoOoOoOo**

**vhhhrrrr**

**vhhhhrrr**

Sanji cracked an eye open. Sunlight was spilling in from the open door. He grumbled as he pushed Zoro's arm off him, reaching for his pants on the floor.

It was Nami. He cleared his throat before answering. "Namiiii swaaann what can I do for you?"

**[** Ahhh? Sanji? Huh… I was expecting Zoro, but…**]**

Sanji froze. He felt the blood drain out of his face. _Oh. Fuck._

"Uh. I can… I can explain."

**[** Well, I'd certainly hope you could. Seeing as how I called your phone and all. Unless… Why, Sanji! Are you saying that Zoro answering your phone was a possibility? Or did you think that you had accidentally picked up Zoro's phone instead of your own? **]**

Sanji pressed his palm into his forehead. He could practically hear Nami's grin over the phone.

**[** How curious. Well, I was just asked to see if you'd be so kind as to ask Zoro whether or not Ace is going to need to cover for him for the rest of the day. **]**

"Ahh, my love, why would you ever think that I would be the best person to pass on such a message?"

**[** Because Usopp stopped by the dojo this morning and was told that you and Zoro had left together. No one's been able to reach either of you ever since. **]**

Sanji knew any further attempts at trying to play dumb would be a complete waste. "We'll be there before dinner."

**[** _We'll_ be looking forward to it. **]**

She hung up. He threw the phone back on the floor. He rubbed his face and fully sat up, looking down at the figure next to him. Zoro was lazily watching him through barely open eyes. "Ace wanted to know when you'd be back." Zoro let out a yawn and made to get up.

_The guy looks so tired._ Sanji guiltily remembered that Zoro had been working on a boat repair earlier that morning. _He was probably there a lot earlier than me too._

He lightly pushed Zoro back onto the bed. "I'm going to take a shower first. I'll wake you when I'm done."

Zoro watched Sanji pull a towel down from a closet shelf. He thought he saw the naked man wince as he reached up, but the expression was fleeting and Sanji was completely composed as he padded to the bathroom. Zoro made a mental note to check on how the blonde was doing later. He turned over and fell back asleep.

Sanji steadied himself on the bathroom counter. _This must be why women aren't always just raring to go at it. Fuuck my ass hurts._ He stepped into the steaming shower and let the heat ease his soreness. It wouldn't do for him to be limping around all day.

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

They were sitting on a bus.

Zoro had showered and changed back into his clothes, but he was still half asleep.

The silence was comfortable. _Everything_ had been comfortable. And Sanji was thankful for that. Where he sat now, watching the way Zoro's head fell forward as he occasionally nodded off, there were no regrets.

The bus hit a pothole and Zoro jerked awake. Sanji let out a quiet laugh and Zoro shot him a look of annoyance before letting out another yawn.

"Hey, y'know, since I've taken time off, I can always cover for you at Vivi's if you ever just needed to spend a night back at your own place."

"What happened to me being your chaperone?"

Sanji wasn't amused. "It's almost been a month already. And it's not like you're actually keeping an eye on me, either. Poisoning her food would be all too easy while I cook."

Zoro quirked an eyebrow up. "You really need to work on this whole persuasion thing. But I've been meaning to ask, how the hell did you get Chakka and Pell to let you anywhere near her, anyways? They seemed so set on prolonging your exclusion, yet there you were the next day. I highly doubt your background check cleared overnight."

"I asked Robin to put in a good word for me with the king."

"…you knew?"

He gave Zoro a look of disdain. "Of course I knew. Unlike you, I like being informed. And when I realized that I didn't know shit about Alabasta, I did some research, which wasn't easy, by the way, place has a media blackout, but ignorance isn't very attractive." He looked out the window. "This is us."

Zoro stretched as he followed Sanji off the bus. He was feeling quite refreshed after their post-coital nap. It was barely three in the afternoon by the time they had left Sanji's apartment. Zoro had gotten in a good three hours of shut-eye and Sanji had made them a late lunch.

Not to mention that he had just had the best fuck he had had in a long while. Even with all the awkward bits. _But for Sanji?_ Something about the way he held himself seemed… off. There was something about the way the blonde walked that seemed slightly off balance. Sanji wasn't limping, but it almost looked like he wanted to.

"Oi." He walked next Sanji and placed a hand at the small of his back. "You alright?"

Sanji pulled away, throwing an icy look at Zoro. "I'm _fine_. Don't look down on me, asshole." He stormed into Vivi's building. Zoro rolled his eyes and followed him in.

When they walked through the door to Vivi's apartment they were greeted with the beaming faces of Ace and Nami. Sanji silently steeled himself for what was coming. He hadn't quite figured out how he was going to deal with Nami and Robin's inevitable prying.

"Glad you guys were able to finally make it over. I hope I didn't call while you were, ah, busy?" Sanji wondered if Nami was related to the Cheshire Cat.

Sanji decided he'd play her game of not-so-subtle innuendos that would ultimately last all day. _Maybe she'll tire of it before too long?_ "Ohh Nami, dearest-"

"No, we were done fucking by the time you called. Though I didn't appreciate being woken up by a goddamn phone for the second time today." Zoro swiped Ace's bottle of beer as he made his way to the couch. He looked up at the silence that followed. All three pairs of eyes were staring at him. He flicked on the TV.

_They'll get over it._

**Footnotes:**

[1]: The Castro! Is pretty much the place to be gay in the bay. It was also home to One of The Largest Halloween parties in the nation (world?). But there was a shooting in 2006 and the city shut it down.

[2]: We're all well aware that Arnie Schwarzenegger of Terminator fame is the current (not for much longer!) governor of California, yes? [written: April 30, 2010] Maybe I shouldn't include time sensitive info, buuut it works for now =D.


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter wouldn't have happened without Coffee, Tea, Salad, Sandwich, and Lady Gaga. Which, combined, pulled me out of my first (mini) writer's block.

Finals next week. One of my Profs is giving us 48 hours to write a 10-15 page paper. Unfortunately for me, I have 2 other finals during those 48 hours (which automatically slashes 6 hours) not to mention sleep and the fact that I commute. So, no updates until after the 14th (NEXT Friday). After which I've got ALL DAY to write. (Until summer session starts.)

**Word Count:**3,763  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece = Odacchi :3.  
**  
****Notes:** This chapter gave me a lot of issues. I'm still a bit unsatisfied with it, but I can't really find anything to change. Lots of talking, though. _Unavoidable_ talking, but... still. =/ (Seems I tend to dislike chapters with heavy dialogue)

* * *

"Do you guys think this is a bit much? I mean, I know that I agreed to do a cameo, but casting me as a traditional dancing girl…? Not that I have anything against dancing girls, but isn't this costume a bit too revealing?"

Vivi looked up, finally noticing the silence and stillness in the room. Everyone had been looking over at the couch, where she could see Zoro watching TV, but then they turned to look at her.

"A-ahh. Vivi," Sanji looked dazed, "my lovely princess! Those clothes suit you wonderfully!"

Sanji's heart was pounding in his ears. He wasn't sure it was much better than the mini heart-attack it felt like he had suffered after Zoro had opened his mouth. _Okay. Okay. Focus on Vivi. The half-naked, soft, and silky royalty standing in front of you. Not that fucker over there. That __**asshole whose throat I'm going to fucking tear out**__._

He smiled. "You have such a lovely figure, my dear. It would be a pity not to take this chance to share it with the world! " _Alright. What are we going to do about damage control?_

"Oh~ Saannnjiiiiiiiiii. You don't really think I'm going to let you just brush off something like that, do you?" He inwardly cringed, making sure to keep the smile plastered on his face. He slowly turned back to face Nami.

"But, mellorine! Shouldn't we wait for Robin-chwan to get here before we discuss my… _answer_ to your question?" _I wonder if I'd be able to book a flight to Paris before then._

Her brows furrowed slightly. She did a quick mental run through of all her recent conversations with Sanji and Robin. _I don't even know which one of my brilliant plans I've actually put into action. There are so many possibilities…_ "Answer to my question?"

Sanji wanted to grind his teeth. "Don't you remember, love? You asked me a question that I couldn't answer and our dear Robin seemed to be of the mindset that I **should** know the answer so I… _did the research_."

"Ahhh yes. _That_ question." She shifted a little closer to Sanji. "I can't wait to hear the results of your _research_."

"Sounds like you were a guinea pig, man." Ace had perched himself on the edge of the couch behind Zoro.

"A well-fed, sexually satisfied guinea pig that gets plenty of exercise? Doesn't sound like a bad life to me."

"That's it! Say another word I'm going to crush your goddamn windpipe." Sanji lifted a leg in preparation, but promptly planted it back on the ground as pain shot up his lower back. _Ow ow ow. Shit. This isn't going to work._ He settled for glaring.

Nami had twisted in her seat at Zoro's voice, as if she had forgotten he was even there. "And Zoro! How kind of you to volunteer your services in helping Sanji with –"

Vivi lightly placed her hand on Nami's shoulder. The red-head looked up at her inquisitively. "Um, Sanji. I just remembered that I skipped lunch. Would it be too much trouble to ask if you could throw something together for me?"

_Oh, Thank God._ "Absolument, ma chérie! I'll make something filling, but light enough that it won't ruin your appetite for dinner." He pecked her on the cheek before throwing another icy glare at Zoro and disappearing into the kitchen.

Nami pouted as the blue-haired girl took the seat next to her. "I didn't get to hear any juicy bits yet."

Vivi's cheeks reddened. She scooted her chair closer to Nami and leaned in just the slightest, voice quiet. "Nami, when I agreed to convince Zoro that he didn't need to personally accompany me all day, you said that it was because you thought Zoro was a good candidate for Sanji being in a _serious relationship_. So, if Sanji and Zoro did… err… become intimate… then shouldn't we be encouraging it?"

Nami looked down. She felt like a kid who had just been scolded. "I know. I know. You're absolutely right, but it's just so fun to tease him. Especially about _this_." Vivi looked at her reproachfully and Nami sighed dejectedly. "Indeed, I had a purpose and I need to stick with it. But I still need to do this _my_ way, Vivi. I'll try not to tease him as much, but it should be fine as long as I don't scare him off."

Vivi gave her a tentative smile of approval. "Then…" she leaned in closer, conspiratorially, "I'd be happy to help in any other ways you see fit. It's been worrying me a bit that spending all this time as my bodyguard hasn't seemed to have disrupted our dear swordsman's life much at all." Nami grinned. Having Vivi offer to help out would make things a lot easier.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

Zoro looked towards the two girls whispering at the table and then back at Ace. "Why the hell should I care?"

"Because I bet that it has to do with your scandalous little revelation. And, seriously Zoro, didn't I teach you _any_ manners? You're not supposed to kiss and tell. Especially **not** right in front of the person involved. Unless you never want to see a piece of that ass again. And I think having a regular fuck buddy might be a good thing for you. I mean, sure, I'd prefer if you actually got serious for once, but I'll take what you can get."

Zoro nodded absentmindedly. He was straining to hear the sounds of the cook moving around the kitchen. Zoro had been prepared for Sanji to lash out at him physically after the blunt admission and hadn't missed the look of discomfort before the blonde had suddenly withdrawn his leg.

The guy **was** in pain and his adamant dismissal was pissing Zoro off. "I'm getting another drink." He got up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Really, Zoro? Not even going to try to _pretend_ you've heard a word I've said?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll grab you another bottle." He shut the door behind him. Sanji didn't notice him come in. He stayed focused on the food he was preparing.

Zoro always found himself captivated by Sanji in the kitchen. The way the room smelled fantastic even if the chef was only throwing together a salad. The way he knew where everything was without looking and when everything was done without a timer. The complete focus and precision of every movement.

Zoro watched as Sanji paused, doing some sort of mental calculation before pulling a dish out of the oven. After setting the food down he cracked his neck and stretched his arms over his head before bending over to touch his toes. He grumbled out a few curses before straightening up and rubbing his lower back with one hand.

"Dammit, cook!"

Sanji jumped, startled. "What the hell is your problem, bastard marimo?!"

"My problem is that you're trying to brush off the fact that you're hurt."

Sanji glowered defiantly down at the pieces of chicken he was cutting. "Whatever, seaweed-top. So what if my ass is a little sore. Don't tell me you're suddenly concerned about my well-being after all our fights? And you sure as hell had better not be _pitying_ me. Especially NOT after that little stunt you just pulled."

Sanji turned to throw a look of disgust at the man who had disturbed the peace of his kitchen. He had expected to be met with eyes full of ridicule. Instead, Zoro looked somewhat defeated.

"Fighting's different, you idiot. Sure, _that's_ all about physical domination and pain is accepted, and okay, maybe I don't know what kind of sex _you're_ usually into, but for me it's supposed to be pleasurable for both sides. I try to keep pain **out** of the bedroom, thanks."

Sanji began cutting into a watermelon. _Well, that definitely wasn't what I was expecting._ "Are we really having this conversation right now?"

Zoro didn't say anything.

"Honestly, Zoro. You can't possibly be THIS thick. It's like… the hangover after your 21st birthday. How terrible you feel the morning after is generally a good indicator of just how fucking great the night before must've been."

A corner of Zoro's mouth quirked up. "Are you saying I was fucking great, cook?"

Sanji balanced multiple plates, moving around the counter. As he passed by Zoro he said, voice low, "No. I'm criticizing the fact that I can walk at all." He glided towards the door, cooing. "Namiiii, Viiiviiiii, I bring you food cooked with the love and attention deserving of fine beauties such as yourselves! There's a plate for you too, Ace." He threw Zoro a sultry look before the door closed behind him.

Sanji figured there wasn't much he could do about Zoro's little announcement and, really, it made things a lot simpler. _But there's no way in hell I'm going to just let him off the hook for it, either._

The kitchen door swung open once again as Zoro stomped out, heading straight for his weights. Ace looked over at him, curious. "Hey, what happened to the beer?"

"Drank it." He stripped off his shirt and began adding more weight plates to his barbell. Sanji's words had conjured up images of just what it'd be like to fuck the cook to the point that he couldn't walk. _Goddammit. I've got more self-control than this!_

Sanji lit a smug cigarette and watched as the rattled swordsman attempted to sweat out the thoughts he'd planted.

"I may just be stating the obvious, but Zoro's really got quite a nice body." Nami popped one of the watermelon cubes Sanji had set out into her mouth. Vivi gave her a nervous glance. "Come on, Vivi. I'm just _admiring_ the man, what, with his toned muscles rippling under that taught skin…"

"…and the way the sweat collects at the hair on the nape of his neck before it rolls down his strong muscular back." Vivi threw Ace a look that screamed _not you too!_

Sanji snapped out of his mini-reverie, feeling oddly self-conscious as he realized that Nami and Ace had practically been narrating his own thoughts. "I'm going to go do the dishes."

Nami gave him a knowing smirk as he once again sought refuge in the kitchen.

_It shouldn't even bother me that everyone knows. It was a onetime thing._ He thought about his earlier provocation. How much it sounded like a challenge. And how much he wanted the swordsman to take him up on it. _Okay, well, it's not like __**feelings **__are involved._ He considered it a small victory and spent his time scrubbing dishes while very much **not** thinking about Zoro exercising in the other room.

When he finally walked back into the rec room both Nami and Vivi were putting on their coats. "Oh? Are the two of you gorgeous wonders heading out?" He tried to keep the hope out of his voice.

"We're going to meet Robin on set. They wanted me to wear the costume around outside for a little bit, just to make sure it's comfortable enough." Vivi tugged on the skimpy barely-clothes.

Nami tossed Sanji his coat. "You're coming with us."

He froze. "Ahhh, as much as I would love to be your escort…"

"Zoro already said you could take over for today."

Sanji looked over at the shirtless man, now doing pushups. "I'm taking you up on your offer, cook. Unless you're taking it back?"

Sanji knew he should be pissed. The bastard was probably doing it because he knew sticking Sanji with the girls all day would lead to endless uncomfortable conversations. Instead, he couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction that the hardass was including him in the group of people he trusted. The fact that the guy had actually taken Sanji's earlier complaint into serious consideration _meant_ something. Zoro had known Ace, Luffy, Usopp, and Franky for years. Sanji was well-aware of the fact that he was still a relatively unknown and risky element.

Zoro turned his head just in time to catch Sanji's subtle nod of appreciation.

"Well then, we shouldn't keep a lady like Robin waiting any longer than absolutely necessary." He followed the girls to Nami's car. She hated having to rely on public transportation, especially when she could navigate through city traffic better than the most terrifying of cabbies. She also had a knack for hitting every green light. Although, whether it was because of her impeccable timing or because she secretly owned a device that could trigger green lights, Sanji couldn't say. Nami was very much capable of both.

Five minutes later, Sanji was helping Vivi out of the car. She looked slightly queasy.

He looked around. "This isn't the Navy base. _This_ is Treasure Island."

"They only film the action scenes on the base because the area is safer for explosions and large battle scenes. The main studio set up is on this island since there are a bunch of buildings we can use for the indoor scenes and we're not limited to the warehouses." Vivi had started making her way to the nearest building.

"Too bad, huh?" Nami hooked her arm around Sanji's. "Now that you know, you won't have an excuse to visit Zoro on _his_ set. Though I suppose you could always play dumb."

Sanji was torn between the happiness of Nami initiating the affectionate contact and the reminder that there was a Something that they had yet to discuss. "My dear mellorine, I would be a fool if I ever chose to watch that uncouth idiot play-fight when I could instead be spending such precious moments in your presence."

"Yes, of course, why would you have any reason to watch Zoro film action scenes… when you're already getting some action from him in private."

"Exactly, love, why should I watch him fight when I already kick his ass, pardon my French, on a nearly daily basis?"

"Feel free to pretend that's what I meant, Sanji." Nami kissed him on the cheek. "You're only lying to yourself." She let go of his arm and practically skipped ahead to Vivi.

Sanji loved this girl. She could do no wrong. She was brilliant and amazing.  
There was nothing she could do or say that would ever make him think badly of her.  
_Mind over matter. Mind over matter._

"You understand that she only does this because she cares, right Sanji?" Robin's arm had stealthily replaced Nami's.

"Robin-chwaan~ I hope you didn't wait for too long?"

She smiled at him. "I've just gotten here myself." The building they had entered was eerily quiet. "Nami and Vivi both have their own business to attend to. I'm usually just here for reference if ever it's needed." She led him to a table surrounded by cushioned seats. They had a clear view of Vivi as the wardrobe staff fussed over her.

"Now, my dear cook, would you like to breech today's hot gossip or shall I?" Sanji stiffened. He had come to the conclusion that resisting would only prolong the pain and ultimately lead to the same outcome. So he'd do it the thick-headed swordsman's way. Except less crude.

Robin patted his arm. "You don't have to look so apprehensive. Our lovely Miss Nami has, no doubt, given you all sorts of misleading ideas as to what it is we're going to ask. But we're your _friends_, Sanji, and we respect your privacy. We won't go so far as to insist that you give us details. Even if our actions seem to contradict it, we'd never want to force you or even pressure you into anything we thought you were truly against. We just want to see you _happy_, Sanji."

He gave her a genuine smile. "Robin, I would never blame such a thing on either of you. My actions don't stem from some deep-seated sense of obligation. I am my own self and I do things because I want to. If your words ever prompt me to do something that may seem _uncharacteristic_ of me, it's because I respect and trust your opinion. But, ultimately, the choice is mine." _Straightforward. Don't avoid it._ "And that applies to my, ahhh... current situation, as well."

Robin returned the smile. "That's quite a relief to hear. Especially since…" She pulled out a small black gift bag. "Nami and I have been planning on giving this to you, but, honestly, we didn't expect you to make a move so soon."

Sanji felt a sense of foreboding as she slid the bag towards him. He opened it and stared at the contents. _Of course._ Sanji cracked up.

Robin's grin widened. "Now _that's_ a reaction I'd love explained. Though I can probably guess its source. We assumed you didn't own any yourself which would mean… I _do_ wonder what you used instead. I think olive oil would be the best alternative, and fitting for a chef, but lotion is generally the most convenient. I sincerely hope you didn't go _dry_, Sanji. I'd have to have a word with our swordsman friend for ever agreeing if that were the case. Proper lube is **not** optional for anal sex."

_So much for no details._ "Wouldn't it have just been easier for Nami, brilliant and fantastic woman that she is, to lift the ban she's placed on my… _mingling_ with other women?"

One of the stage hands approached their table. "Excuse me, Miss Nico, we had a question concerning the super spot-billed ducks of Alabastan mythology. If you had a moment?"

Robin nodded. "Ah, of course, I'll be there in a second." She gave Sanji a calculating look. "Nami's right, you're still in semi-denial. Think about it, Sanji. When was the last time she actually enforced that little restriction?" She sighed as she stood up. "You know just as well as we do that it was only a convenient excuse for you to avoid another deceptive relationship under the pretense of true love. You can continue to insist that what happened was purely to satisfy your need for physical release. But perhaps you should take some time to seriously consider why you were so willing to take my and Nami's suggestions."

She walked away. Sanji sat, speechless. He was beginning to wonder if, just maybe, he would have preferred being forced to draw diagrams detailing his 'morning activity'.

He tried to focus his attention back on watching Vivi, but his eyes kept slipping back to the black bag in front of him.

He was trying to understand how Robin could hand him a bag with a bottle of lube and then go on to suggest that his romp with Zoro **wasn't** about physical release.

_I love the women in my life. I understand them and their needs._ It was when they started thinking about _his_ needs that he found himself at a complete loss.

By the time Nami, Robin, and Vivi were ready to go, Sanji had decided that, as soon as he finished cooking dinner for the girls, he'd go straight home and sleep through the rest of the already-much-too-long day.

_Fuck. I still need to wash my sheets._

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Zoro stared up at the dark ceiling. He could see his alarm clock glowing ***3:17am*** in his periphery.

It was silent.

Something had woken him up.

Something was wrong.

He made sure to keep his breathing steady and slow. His hand edged towards his swords. He was completely alert, shoving off his blankets as silently as possible. He slid onto the floor and crept through the darkness towards his door.

There was a nearly silent rustle as a dark shadow made its way down the hall. Towards Vivi's room.

In a flash his sword was against the flesh of the intruder's throat. "Try anything and I won't hesitate to cut you up." Zoro's low growl carried through the silence.

"I need to speak to Vivi." He didn't recognize the voice.

"At half-past three in the morning? I wouldn't give anymore bullshit excuses if I were you." Zoro was at a loss as to what he was supposed to do with the guy. He didn't have hand-cuffs and he wasn't really interested in actually killing anyone.

"I wanted to speak to her _without_ anyone knowing." Zoro was almost surprised by how steady the voice was.

"Sorry that didn't work out for you." He spun the stranger around and slammed the handle of his katana into the guy's jaw, making sure to catch the limp body before it hit the ground. _Chakka and Pell should've left instructions._

The lights suddenly flicked on and Zoro squinted against the sudden brightness.

"Zoro?" Vivi stood at her door, rubbing her eyes. "I heard voices."

"You had a visitor, but I figured he could wait 'til morning." Zoro dragged the unconscious man over to his bed. "You should probably call the cops while I find a way to restrain him."

Vivi took a step forward. "Kohza?"

Zoro stared at her. "What?"

She rushed over to the bed. "Oh, god. I know him, Zoro. I grew up with him. He's a childhood friend."

"Friend? Then why the hell didn't he just call instead of pulling some shit like this?"

She was silent for a second. "Probably because he's the leader of the rebels."

"**What?** The whole reason I'm here is to protect you from this guy and _he's your friend_?"

She looked up at Zoro apologetically. "He's _safe_, Zoro. This is why I kept trying to convince you that Chakka and Pell were overreacting, but those two have been on edge since the rebels ramped up their protests and began openly harassing Baroque Works."

"Vivi, you're going to make my job difficult, aren't you?" _And you're going to make me have to ask the cook about what the hell's going on in your country._

"Kohza would never _hurt_ me, Zoro."

He went to grab his phone. "Fine, you guys can talk when he wakes up, but I'm going to call some of the guys over and he's not getting anywhere near you until **I'm** convinced that he's safe." He watched Vivi's face fill with concern as she noticed the bruise blooming where Zoro had hit the other man. "I'll be sure to call Chopper first so he can make sure this guy's okay."

"Thank you, Zoro."

He took a deep breath before making the call. The young doctor had already lectured Zoro on the lasting physical damage that could result from being knocked out by a physical blow.

_Chopper's going to kill me._


	10. Chapter 10

DONE. This chapter has a lot of stuff that I love. But also a lot of stuff that's making me want to tear my hair out. I am much too tired (mentally) to really write anything else. Though. I will give you a heads up that I sortof feel like my writing style was all over the place in this chapter. Let's just chalk it up to experimentation?  
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Word Count: **5,702  
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Disclaimer:** One Piece = Odacchi :3.  
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****Notes:** Non-pr0n. Go to LJ for the full version. **  
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I do hope you enjoy! It's longer?

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"A broken jaw. A coma! **Brain damage**! The _possibilities_, Zoro. Knocking someone out with a blow to the head is such a risky thing to do _and I've already told you all this_. What if he had DIED."

Kohza had woken up within the hour extremely disoriented, but completely fine. Chopper hadn't stopped lecturing Zoro since the moment he had arrived. Part of him was suspicious that Chopper actually wished Kohza _had_ ended up with lasting damage just so he could teach Zoro a lesson. The other part knew that the kid was benevolent, almost to a fault, and would never wish permanent injury on anyone.

Except maybe on Zoro. After he hit this guy in the face _again_.

"Wanna run that by me one more time?" The guy hadn't even been talking for a minute and he was already getting on Zoro's nerves.

"I want you to stay the hell away from Vivi."

"And where do _you_, head of the little rebel group that's been causing all kinds of shit for Vivi's dad, get off saying that _I'm _the threat? Especially considering that you've been in town this entire time and you're _just now_ making a move?"

Sanji walked in carrying steaming plates of eggs, bacon, and French toast. Luffy was close behind. Zoro wasn't sure why he'd called these two for potential back-up. Both had spent the entire time in the kitchen, where neither would be much help if Zoro needed assistance restraining Kohza.

At least Franky was there too. As well as Nami and Ace and Robin and Usopp. Vivi had, in a moment of indecision, sent a mass text message using the words 'emergency!' and 'ASAP'. _Doesn't_ **_anyone_** _put their phone on silent when they go to bed?_ It was hard to be sufficiently intimidating during an interrogation when it was taking place in the midst of a large breakfast party.

"When you were first assigned to protect Vivi, we were fine with it because your background turned up clean. But not now. Not after we found out about your fight with Mihawk." Zoro froze.

"What about it?"

"You _lived_."

"And what the hell does that have to do with any of this?"

"What does your having a connection to a Shichibukai have to do with this? What _doesn't_ it? For all I know you've just been waiting for some signal from one of those mercs before making your move." Kohza tried to get up from his seat, but his head was still spinning and he couldn't really quite make out any faces, but he could see Vivi's blue and Zoro's green and that was all that mattered at the moment. Chopper had tried to restrict him to the bed, but it made him look even weaker than he currently felt.

Zoro barely registered his friend's angry Doctor Voice insisting that they hold off on the interrogation, but Zoro was being accused of something and this guy knew about Mihawk. "What the hell are you talking about? Shichibukai? Mercs? None of that has to do with me."

Robin gave a soft cough. Zoro turned towards her and she looked at him over a steaming mug of coffee. "I think I might be able to clarify for you, Zoro. You're familiar with private military contractors like Blackwater?" Zoro nodded. They were muscle for hire. Modern day mercenaries. "The Shichibukai are Blackwater on steroids, made up of seven one-man teams that specialize in high profile kidnapping and assassination. They're not tied to any one country or government and thus consider themselves outside the realm of the Geneva Convention. Their identities are generally unknown, not because of secrecy, but because, as cliché as it may be, no one usually survives to give a description."

Usopp started coughing. "Ughhh, Luffy, I'm sorry, but I forgot to tell you that I'm allergic to conversations about friends-that-might-be-assassins-and-know-where-I-live. I think I'm going to head back first."

Chopper's eyes were wide. "I've never even heard of that allergy! We should probably take you to the hospital‼"

Zoro couldn't believe he'd just spent the past hour being lectured by the kid. "And Mihawk is one of these guys? Actually, it doesn't matter whether or not he is. My match with Mihawk didn't have shit to do with Vivi. So. Hasn't _this_ just been a big waste of time." _And another wasted chance to sleep in._

"You think I'm just going to take your word for it?" Kohza gripped the arm of his chair. He couldn't believe Zoro was brushing off something this serious so easily.

"You think you have any choice in the matter?"

"**You guys.**" Vivi stood up. "This is ridiculous. Kohza, I'm glad you're okay, but Zoro is not an _assassin_. I trust him and I need you to trust him too."

Kohza narrowed his eyes. "You trust people much too easily, Vivi. As a princess you shouldn't be **this** gullible! Why do you even think I'm in this city? There's _something_ going on here and your life could very well be at stake. This guy that you've known for a handful of months that you _trust_ has proven that he is very much capable of taking your life and now we find out he has connections to a group that **has no qualms with killing royalty**. And you expect me to leave you be and just_trust_ him?"

"What're you, an idiot?" Heads snapped around to look at Luffy. "Vivi and Zoro are friends. Even if he did go around killing people, he still wouldn't kill his _friend_. That's just stupid." Luffy probably would have had his finger up his nose if Nami hadn't just recently beaten it out of him. Instead he tugged on the ever-present strawhat sitting on his head.

"What?" Kohza couldn't understand how he had become the bad guy. He was here _for_ Vivi.

"What my oh-so-wise little brother is trying to get at is that we _all_ care about our friends here," Ace noted how Kohza's eyes were hard and unwavering, "and Zoro needs a day off anyways sooo we'll take over while you contact the Rebel Alliance and do what you need to do to confirm that Zoro doesn't take orders well enough to be a stormtrooper.[1]"

Vivi's eyes were just as hard and unwavering. "Or until our stubborn Miss Nefertari here convinces you herself." Robin added.

Zoro looked incredulous. "You're going to humor him?"

He had forgotten Nami was there, until she spoke up. "Well, it's understandable, right? You _did_ admit to having a nice little non-fatal match with a hitman of sorts and you _do_ carry swords all the time. I'd be a bit suspicious too." _Fuck, her voice is grating. At least the cook hasn't opened his trap yet._ Zoro really wished he'd just thrown Kohza out and ignored Vivi's pleading.

"Do you think this is an ideal situation for me?" Kohza had managed to stand up. "She's former Baroque Works," he glared at Robin and turned to Nami, "she was a black market bookie," before settling to stare at Ace and Luffy, "and the two of you were raised by a high ranking military official." He turned his attention back to Vivi. "Do you even _know_ the people you've surrounded yourself with?"

Zoro lifted an eyebrow. "And you being the leader of a rebel faction is any better… how?"

"We're fighting against the corruption within the government that's destroying Alabasta from the inside out. The things you guys are connected to only serve to perpetuate that corruption."

Ace stepped forward. He'd always hated discussions about past evils and family relations. He lived in the Right Now. "Well, Luffy's dad is 'Dragon The Revolutionary'. So, y'know, when it comes to 'who hates the government the most,' I think we win."

"_What_? He's Dragon's…" Kohza was staring at Luffy, eyes wide and mouth twitching as though he wanted to say something more. But Robin stepped in.

"I think that, perhaps, the best thing we can do for now is to just let all the information sink in for a bit before we come to an actual decision as to what we're doing. Ultimately it _is_ up to Vivi and Zoro. Let's not waste Sanji's doubtless delectable meal while we let Kohza recover a bit."

Zoro was past the point of caring. He grabbed a plate and moved to the unoccupied kitchen to find something to drink. He heard the door open and shut behind him not too long after. _Maybe if I ignore whoever it is, they won't bother me._ He rummaged through the cabinets.

"Move." Zoro knew it was too much to hope that the blonde would keep quiet the entire day.

"What the hell do you want? I'm really not in the mood." After all this time Zoro still found himself slightly surprised by the strength in the long thin fingers as they pushed his arms away from the cupboards and Sanji moved to pull out a few bottles himself.

"And I'm really not in the mood for your pissy attitude this early in the morning, either." Sanji placed a couple of large mugs on the counter before pulling out a bowl. "It's too early to be drinking straight liquor, even for you."

Zoro watched as he poured brandy and rum into the bowl. "What're you making?" Sanji didn't answer; instead he added sugar and proceeded to light the mixture on fire. Zoro rolled his eyes. "The girls aren't in here, you know. There's no reason to show off."

Sanji waited for the sugar to dissolve before stirring in the remaining coffee from the still-hot pot. "Why make toast if I can make croissants?" He split the steaming liquid between the two mugs and handed one to Zoro. "It's called African Hot Punch. I figured we could hide your alcoholic tendencies behind some coffee."

Zoro snorted, but took the drink gratefully. He let the hot liquid burn down his throat as he watched Sanji light a cigarette. It was a good burn and exactly what he needed. "You were awfully quiet back there."

"Oh? Did you miss my voice?" Sanji was tipped back in his chair; eyes closed and smoke twirling around his face. "It wasn't my place. There's nothing in my past that's particularly… politically active. So, I didn't really have much input. Sure,_I_ know you wouldn't lay a hand on Vivi, but if I were what's-his-name, I wouldn't have fucking let you anywhere near her in the first place. Your face doesn't exactly instill a feeling of trust and kindness in someone. Not to mention you're kinda terrible with first impressions."

"Yet here we are, less than half a year later, and I have you rushing over at the crack of dawn to make me breakfast with a single phone call _and_ I've gotten you into bed. Also, that was in order of most difficult achievement first."

"Really? I seem to remember that **I** had you _sprinting_ into my bed with a single barely-even-a sentence." Sanji downed the rest of his drink and got up. "Also, infiltration missions usually require someone intelligent, so you were unqualified right from the start."

Zoro let out an irritated grunt before finishing his own spiked coffee and bringing it to the sink were Sanji was already drying his cup. "So, what're you gonna do?" Sanji was leaning against the counter, watching as Zoro reached for the soap.

Zoro didn't answer until he had finished with the mug. He leaned on the counter next to Sanji, mirroring the blonde. "Some time away from these over-energized kids might not be too terrible an idea."

"You sound like an old man." Sanji snickered.

"You sound like a little kid."

"You both sound like idiots." Nami was peeking around the door.

"Naamii~ is there _anything_ I can do for you?" Sanji swept across the kitchen. Nami sighed dejectedly.

"No, thanks Sanji. I was just hoping that whatever was going on in here was more interesting than the fat load of nothing going on out there. Chopper's practically made us all take oaths of silence so Kohza can sleep." She glanced at her phone. "Actually, I should probably be heading home. I've got a lot of stuff I need to look into for work and I might as well start now since I'm already awake." She took a long look at Sanji and Zoro, noticing the lack of awkwardness between them. She smiled, "You two play nice," and left.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Kohza had woken up a little past noon and he and Zoro had argued for a good couple hours with Vivi's indignation at being ignored mixed in. Countless threats later and Zoro was sitting with Ace and Franky, writing out a schedule for who would stay with Vivi when. Zoro's name wasn't on it.

"You guys don't have to do this. I'm the one who promised Chaka and Pell that I'd keep an eye on her."

"It's _fine_, bro. Luffy's right: friends first. Whether that's watching out for our little lady or helping you get some much needed time off. Don't worry about it. We're doing this because we want to." Franky had his fists raised in an odd pose of solidarity.

Zoro rubbed at his face. "I'm gonna go pack."

Ace grinned and nodded. "We'll hold down the fort until everyone cools off."

Zoro returned the nod. "Thanks."

It was early evening by the time he walked out of Vivi's apartment, large duffle bag full of clothes in tow. He hadn't noticed Sanji leave, but he obviously had, seeing as how the blonde was standing at the bus stop that Zoro was heading to.

"I really need to get a car. Or a motorcycle."

Sanji didn't even bother to turn around. "No, you're definitely better off without. This city is full of one way streets and unexpected detours, you'd be hopeless. Anyways, it's much easier to ask for directions when you're on foot."

The bus pulled up and they boarded, Sanji flashing his transit pass and Zoro fishing for coins.

"Is this based on personal experience? I don't see _you_ with a car."

"I have a car, but there's really no reason for me to use it _in_ the city. Global warming and what not. Public transportation's actually more reliable than it gets credit for. You really shouldn't wave off the efficiency of a city bus. And really, once you get on you don't even have to _navigate_."

"Except for that one time where you missed your stop and I had to save the day."

"I was distracted _once_. At least I don't get on the wrong bus like a certain moss-headed idiot."

Zoro looked at the destination sign. "Well, fuck. You couldn't have told me when I got on? Or maybe even before I paid?"

"We've already established that your apartment is on the opposite end of the city, why the hell would we be taking the same bus? Really. It's not that you're directionally-challenged, you're just a flat-out idiot."

"And you're just going to give me a ride when we get to your place."

Sanji gave him a look that started off incredulous and melted into thoughtfulness. "I'm not giving you a ride." He stared at Zoro's duffle bag. "So you might as well just stay at my place until everything settles down."

"How are those two things related? Or is this you asking for another fuck, ero-cook?"

Sanji had annoyance etched all over his face. "This is me offering to let you stay within a ten minute sprint from Vivi's. It's obvious you're still uncomfortable with this whole situation, otherwise it wouldn't have taken you a good twelve hours to finally concede." Sanji stood up and moved to stand by the doors. "I know that I'd be on edge if I were in your position, especially when Chaka and Pell specifically made Vivi your responsibility."

Zoro followed him off the bus. "You're saying that I shouldn't have agreed to stay away."

"No. I'm saying that I _understand_ why you're not happy with it. And I'm giving you a way to sort of reconcile Vivi's desire to deal with Kohza herself and your unease with leaving your post. It's the best compromise, short of camping out on her doorstep." Zoro looked like he was seriously considering the option to camp out. Sanji sighed. "I was a bartender during my last year in college and my kitchen reflects that."

Zoro threw his duffle-bag over his shoulder. "What the hell are we waiting for, then?"

Sanji shook his head at Zoro's predictability. "Let's go."

Sanji's apartment was spotless and Zoro could see how very white it was, now that the lights were on. The first room they walked into had a large couch and a decent-sized entertainment center. Everything was in its proper place and the couch looked brand new. It _all_ looked brand new.

Sanji was flicking on lights further in the apartment. Zoro followed him down the hall into the kitchen. He had had the chance to look around the room when Sanji had made him lunch the last time he had been there. It was a gorgeous room with a gorgeous view and it served as Sanji's kitchen, dining room, and study. It too was very clean, aside from the stack of papers scattered over the desk up against a wall.

Overall, the apartment felt like a model home. It was stylish and well-kept, but there was a distinct feeling that it was unlived in.

"Are you hungry? I know we already technically had an early dinner, but having breakfast so early in the morning can screw up your schedule." Sanji was in his kitchen, opening and closing cabinets, taking a quick inventory.

"Don't you ever get tired of cooking? All you've done today is cook."

"I _like_ cooking. What about you, Mr. Would-never-stop-training-if-it-weren't-for-necessary-bodily-functions? Cooking for other people is _my_ form of training."

"In other words, you'd rather get the rest of us fat with your 'training' instead of yourself, curly-cue?"

"Are you complaining? Because I can always just feed your share to Luffy from now on if you're trying to watch your figure, marimo."

Zoro realized he'd never win any argument that crossed into Sanji's realm of food. _But only because he's so damn good at making it. It's an unfair advantage._ "All I'm saying, is that I see you _watching_ people eat more than I actually see you eating."

"I didn't know you cared." Sanji mockingly fluttered his eyelashes.

"Whatever. Cook what you want, I'll eat it regardless, since it seems you might actually be more addicted to cooking than you are to smoking."

"Damn right." Sanji lit a cigarette. "Oh, and you don't have to keep lugging that bag around. You can leave it over by the couch. I'll set out some extra pillows and blankets when I'm done here."

"The couch?"

"Yes. The couch. The couch in the living room. Where you'll be sleeping. Unless you'd prefer an air mattress, which I also have, but, trust me, the couch is more comfortable."

Zoro thought about it. The couch _had_ looked big and comfortable. But Sanji's bed was bigger. _And I __**know **__it's comfortable._"I don't want to sleep on your couch."

"I promise you. The air mattress is _really_ all sorts of terrible."

Sanji jumped as Zoro's next words were said directly into his ear. "I'd rather just remind you that your bed is plenty big enough for the both of us." He shivered as Zoro's lips touched the skin of his throat.

It was unfair, Sanji decided, how Zoro could be stealthy and quick when he was supposed to be a muscular oaf. Agility was _Sanji's_ thing. "I'm about to make you food." Still, he tilted his head to the side and leaned back to give Zoro better access to his neck.

"Food always tastes better after a good work-out." His hands were on Sanji's hips, tugging him away from the kitchen and into the bedroom. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sanji acknowledged that he should probably be irritated that he was being led around his own home by the swordsman. But if he were being honest, he really didn't give a fuck at the moment.

Neither was patient enough to fumble with the other's clothes. Zoro stepped out of his pants and boxers while simultaneously pulling his own shirt over his head. Sanji followed suit, slacks and underwear soon joining a discarded dress shirt. Their lips met hungrily, tongues exploring and tasting. Zoro tightened his grip on Sanji's hips and practically threw the blonde onto the bed.

"Do that again and I'll fucking-" Zoro climbed on top of him.

"Yesyes, _milady_. I'll try not to manhandle you from now on."

Sanji pulled Zoro down by the neck and bit down hard on the other man's shoulder. "Oi! What the hell was _that_, you fucker!"

Sanji licked the angry red wound. "That was just a friendly reminder that I have teeth and you have sensitive parts." Zoro growled and captured Sanji's mouth, teeth clashing, tongues fighting.

Sanji's hands reached down to grip them both as Zoro kissed his way up Sanji's collar bone, up the side of his throat, pausing at his earlobe. "Where's your lotion." His voice was husky and low. There wasn't a trace of hesitation this time around. Instead it was rushed and demanding.

"Black gift bag in the drawer." Zoro flashed him a look of curiosity before reaching over to the nightstand and pulling out the bag.

"You went out and bought…"

"**Robin**. Robin and **Nami** went out and bought _us_ lube. Not at my request so don't even ask. We are also never going to mention that they were right in assuming we'd need it. Again. _Got it_?"

Zoro grinned. Sanji decided to pretend it was a 'yes'.

"Turn over." Sanji did. It wasn't until he found himself staring at his pillow, on his elbows and knees, that he realized how vulnerable a position it was. How _exposed_ he was. He took a few slow and deep breaths, wondering where his sense of self-preservation had run off to as Zoro continued to prep him.

Zoro couldn't help but stare. Sanji was _exquisite_. It was easy to underestimate him when he was suited-up and mistake him as a 'pretty boy', but like this, Sanji was hard lines, defined muscles, and taut ivory skin. Zoro sat up on his knees and slid himself flat against Sanji's back, lips stopping to kiss shoulder blades. He positioned himself above Sanji and gave a silent thanks to the girls for the lube as he pressed forward with relative ease. He watched the rise and fall of Sanji's back and the way it dipped with each motion.

Sanji let out a loud moan, his forehead pushing further into the pillow below him. He could feel Zoro's tongue trace its way up every ridge of his spine. Sanji hated this position. Sortof. He loved how much closer Zoro could get and it felt really fucking fantastic. _But I hate having to look at this fucking pillow._ He closed his eyes and let the building waves of pleasure wash over him. He could hear Zoro's breathing become more ragged with each movement. Sanji felt Zoro grow rigid above him and the warmth that dripped down his thigh as Zoro pulled out bringing him to release not long after.

Sanji flipped onto his back just in time to see Zoro make a show of licking his fingers clean. "Thanks for not being such a chatty-Cathy this time around. I was actually able to focus on fucking you into the bed."

Sanji considered what it'd feel like to put a cigarette out on Zoro's tongue. But he could see the smile playing at the corner of Zoro's mouth. "Thanks for getting to the fucking within the first hour this time. I was actually able to enjoy it without having to direct you every damn second." _Fucking smug bastard._

Sanji's finger traced the large scar that tore its way diagonally down Zoro's chest. "This was from Mihawk, wasn't it?"

"I'm actually surprised neither you nor Nami mentioned it before. It tends to make people curious."

Sanji gave a half-hearted snort. "Very sorry for not stroking your ego and pleading to hear your war stories." He focused on the grooved skin. "It was obvious that a wound like this would have quite a story, but, having been raised by a guy with one leg, I know how personal it can get. Nami probably didn't ask for the same reason you haven't asked about her tattoo. Also, you play with swords. So it was pretty easy, and much more satisfying, to just assume that it was self-inflicted."

Zoro looked amused. He was obviously in a good mood. Sanji tugged him down onto the bed next to him. "Yeah, it was Mihawk." Sanji had almost forgotten the question. "He's supposedly the greatest swordsman alive, a legend. I spent some time abroad because Koshiro-sensei encouraged me to learn about the fighting styles of different countries and I randomly ran into Mihawk in Spain. He just had this overpowering aura and I challenged him. Lost miserably. So it's not exactly a story of heroic deeds."

Zoro stretched out and Sanji grabbed a cigarette from his stash in the night stand. "Should've figured it was you biting off more than you could chew. Still, must've been one hell of a fighter to beat you that badly." Sanji sat up, puffing smoke into the night air that flowed in through an open window.

Zoro stared at a picture of a young Sanji in his tiny chef's smock standing in front of the Baratie. "So, who's the gramps with the beastly mustache? He was at that restaurant from last time, the one-legged guy you mentioned, right?"

Sanji nodded down at him before turning to look at the picture in question. "That's Zeff. Crazy geezer."

"Family?"

Sanji took a drag, eyes closed. "Long or short version?"

"As long as you're comfortable making it."

"Alright, well, my dad died before I was born and my mom worked on a cruise liner. I was allowed to go with them and I'd help out in the kitchens."

He locked his eyes on the photo.

"A storm had pushed us off course and we hit an underwater mountain. Zeff and I were the only survivors. We had been able to climb onto a part of the mountain that rose up above the water."

Zoro heard the snap of the lighter as Sanji pulled out another cigarette.

"Long story short: man ate his own leg so I could survive off of the food he'd salvaged."

Zoro's hand stopped where he had unconsciously been stroking Sanji's back.

He frowned.

"That's heavy shit."

Sanji smirked. "Getting fucked in the ass by a guy is pretty heavy shit too."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "That might be convincing if we weren't in San Fran-Fucking-Cisco." He hesitated. "It's not something you're bothered by right? I mean… I know I was a bit _flippant_ about it last time, but I reckoned you weren't really the type to give a rat's ass about what people think."

Sanji rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "No, you're right. I _don't_ give a fuck. It's just. A bit of warning would've been nice."

"Sure, I'll give you plenty of warning next time."

"How about we just not have a next time."

Zoro ignored him. "So, Zeff took you in?" He was still processing the information.

"And then he kicked me out. Apparently my self-imposed servitude at the Baratie was insulting. But it's an old story. Physical and mental wounds all healed."

"Oh, absolutely. I'm sure your border-line OCD when it comes to wasting food isn't related at all."

"Hey. Wasting food could be the downfall of our civilization one day." Sanji looked back at Zoro. "How about your swords? What's your trauma-rama?"

"Also an old story. Childhood friend, sparring partner that kicked my ass every time we fought, fell down some stairs and died the day after we made a promise that one day we'd fight each other for the reputation of Greatest Swordsman."

"Well, shit. Sorry. But I guess that explains Mihawk. What about your sensei, Koshiro?"

"Kuina, the kid who died, was his daughter. He let me have her sword and decided to leave Japan after her funeral. I went with him."

"Your parents just let you go?"

"I don't know all the details because I never really cared much, but they pretty much put me into Koshiro's custody. Both of my parents worked at large companies and were devoted to their jobs so I spent most of my time at the dojo while they were constantly traveling abroad anyways." Sanji looked skeptical. "Really, it wasn't that big a deal."

Zoro let his eyes wander around the room. Every photo on the wall, every painting, was a little piece of Sanji. "How can you surround yourself with constant reminders of the ocean?"

"The same way you can still walk down stairs, I assume."

Sanji took a long and slow draw from his cigarette.  
He exhaled slowly.

"The ocean is freedom and equality uncompromised."

Zoro shifted closer, still lying on his back. It was the most content and peaceful he could ever remember being. Talking to Sanji about his past seemed like such a natural thing. He placed a lazy kiss on Sanji's outer thigh.

"The guests, on the cruise ships, tended to be wealthy vacationers. Still, there'd always be a family here and there who had saved up over the years in order to go just the once. Everyone could tell which family was which and immediately all these unsaid rules would be set in place."

A soft kiss on his hip.

"But then I'd stare out at the ocean. There was the sky, the water, and the horizon. There were no boundaries, no social hierarchy, no expectations. Everywhere you looked it was just all blue."

He leaned into Zoro's hand, thumb rubbing circles into his back.

"I want to open a restaurant than can do for people what the ocean does for me. I want to be able to make any dish anyone could ever want, no matter where in the world it originated from, regardless of which class it was intended for. _I want_ people to be able to sit at a bar and talk about their day and realize that, even if their lives are different, the lessons are always the same and they're _people_ first and that's what matters. I don't want my restaurant to be high class. I just want it _to be_."

His fingers fluttered through green hair.

"Sooo your dream is world peace… huh. Kinda puts my own into perspective."

Another long draw.

Another long pause.

Sanji reached over the edge of the bed and stubbed out his cigarette before climbing over Zoro and straddling his lap.

"You're taking on the world to keep a promise. Me? I'm just trying to pretend it doesn't exist."

Zoro's hand slipped behind his neck and pulled him down for a deep kiss.

"I see it, you know, in your eyes."

Sanji looked down at him inquisitively.

"I don't need to be surrounded by the ocean to see all blue. I just need to look into your eyes."

Sanji froze. Zoro had no idea what he was saying. Because what he was saying was making Sanji suddenly feel something that felt an awful lot like _feelings_. And _feelings_ was something that Sanji was definitely not supposed to have on the second fuck. At least, not for someone with a penis. At least. Not for _Zoro_.

"You have no idea what the fuck you're saying." The inside of Sanji's mouth felt too wet. It was making him swallow more often than was possibly natural. "Sure, my eyes are blue. But that's not what I'm talking about."

"That's not what I'm talking about either. I ate the food you made at the soup kitchen and I saw you afterwards. That food was the same quality as what you'd make for the girls or serve at your catering events. How exhausted you were later that night was proof that you hadn't held back during the day. Your eyes may register social status, but you don't discriminate because of it. _Your eyes_ reflect more than just the ocean's color."

_Feelings. Feelings. Feelings._ "You have _no idea what the hell you're saying_"

Sanji lowered his head and their lips met for a painfully slow and tender kiss. It was a kiss that contained more than the sex ever had.

Zoro contemplated the fact that maybe he _didn't_ have any idea what the hell he had just said. But Sanji was trailing wet kisses down his chest, tongue dipping into every groove of scar and muscle and Zoro couldn't bring himself to seriously think about what that kiss had meant. At least, not right now.

He watched the slowly descending head. "Haven't had enough of me yet, cook?"

Sanji was satisfied to see that Zoro was aroused despite his words. He leisurely ran his tongue up against Zoro. "By the time I'm satisfied, you'll be wishing you had just taken the couch."

Zoro tangled his fingers in the golden strands of hair, torn by whether he should just close his eyes and immerse himself in the pleasure or continue to watch the way he disappeared into Sanji's mouth. "Have I told you how much I love your brand of persuasion?" His breathing was unsteady. "I'm still waiting for you to ruin my taste buds for all other cooks, you know. That threat sounded particularly painful."

Sanji chuckled. It was a low rumble at the back of his throat. And suddenly Zoro didn't really feel like talking.

And a vacation full of sleep deprivation wasn't looking too bad either.

**Footnotes:**

**[1]**: I HAD TO. Every time I wrote 'rebel' I wanted to put 'alliance'. Maybe writing this while rewatching the original Star Wars trilogy wasn't the best idea, but it happened. _And it works!_ (In my mind)

**A/N:** About All Blue. Does it make sense? I know it's a bit abstract, but it's how I'm interpreting Oda. Because All Blue is where you can find fish from the four oceans in one place I.E. a place where things coexist despite their origins? The nonexistance of boundaries? Yes? Well. If you don't think it makes sense, let me know.


	11. Chapter 11

One day, my chapters will be of consistent length and quality. That day is not today.  
As always, constructive criticism is very much appreciated and (should) lead to better chapters in the future~  
**  
****Word Count:** 3,629  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece is the brainchild of Odacchi.  
**  
Notes:** Ch.10 (FFnet) will be replaced with a non-explicit version in a few days. After that you'll have to head over to LJ for the full experience ;D

* * *

Zoro didn't want to get up. The bed was warm and covered in what felt like infinite thread count sheets. Zoro looked over and noticed a distinct lack of Sanji, but he could hear muffled sounds coming from the next room. He slowly rolled out of the bed, pulling on his boxers as he opened the door.

"Finally. I was beginning to think you were in a coma." Sanji was sitting at his desk, flipping through a stack of papers. He regarded Zoro over the top of a large binder.

Zoro squinted through the bright sunlight, mouth open in a huge yawn. "What time is it?"

"It's almost one. You slept for a solid eleven hours. I put out some towels for you in the bathroom." Zoro didn't move, one hand absentmindedly scratching at his bare stomach. "That was me letting you know that I can smell you from across the room. Shower. Now."

"What? Don't like smelling yourself all over me?"

Sanji began to retort, but Zoro had already walked back into the room. He looked down at the binder in his hands before setting it aside and heading to the kitchen to prepare brunch.

Zoro leaned with his back against the bathroom door, listening to the faint sounds of Sanji in the kitchen. Zoro had always taken the time to train his senses. He needed to be able to fight even if he couldn't see, needed to know what his opponent was doing even if he couldn't hear. It had become natural for him to walk into a room and immediately take note of where everyone was and what they were doing. So he had been very aware of the fact that, lately, his eyes only followed Sanji and his ears were constantly straining to pick up the cook's every move.

It was distracting and completely throwing him off. _I need to get over this._

He pushed away from the door and peeled off his boxers, wondering why he had even bothered to put them on in the first place, as he headed for the shower. The bathroom was every bit the white minimalist design of the rest of the apartment. It was slightly narrow with the bath on one length of wall and the sink and counter directly across. The tub itself was long and deep, perfect for taking baths. Zoro pictured Sanji lounging in the tub, surrounded by candles, wine in one hand while the fingers of the other held a cigarette to his lips.

He laughed at the image. Sanji was a hopeless romantic, sure, but only when girls were around. _He tries so hard to act like Mr. Classy Prince Charming, but the second the women leave the room he's just as impatient and brutish as all us **other **__men._ Zoro took a quick shower and realized he had left his duffle bag in the middle of the dining room the night before, only to find it resting against the wall next to the bathroom door. He could smell breakfast coming from the kitchen. _Idiotic pain in the ass that he is, he'd really make a good house wife._ Sanji was still standing at the stove by the time Zoro walked into the room fully clothed.

"Food'll be done in a few minutes." Sanji had an unlit cigarette hanging between his lips, but took a moment to light it on the gas stove. Zoro took a seat at the bar counter while Sanji added a final pancake to a stack already sitting on the counter. He set the plate in front of Zoro along with a side of sausages. "Blueberry pancakes. Here's the syrup and napkins are over there. I've got coffee, juice, water…?"

It was almost frightening how attentive Sanji was being. "Water's fine. Thanks, _honey_."

Zoro ducked and Sanji's foot swept over his head. "Did I say 'blueberry'? Sorry, I meant **arsenic**. Here, have some crushed-glass-sprinkles as well."

"Yes, yes. Everyone knows you could poison our food and we'd be none the wiser, but I'm beginning to doubt that you could ever bear to have your precious food be the instrument of death." Sanji grumbled, unable to deny it, and sat down to watch Zoro dig into the food. "Did you already eat? How long have you been awake?" Zoro hadn't failed to notice the cold sheets on Sanji's side of the bed when he had first gotten up.

"Sometime around 8 or 9? Still got a good seven hours of sleep in, which is better than my average." Sanji took a drink from his cup of tea.

Zoro looked slightly disgusted. "Why the hell did you get up early? I thought you didn't have work."

"Eleven hours isn't normal, y'know. Seven hours _is_. And I've gotten into the habit of waking up earlier than everyone else in order to get breakfast ready. I had to look over some stuff for the soup kitchen anyways, so it worked out." Sanji was staring unhappily at the binder still sitting on his desk.

"Right. Christmas is in a few days. Spending the whole day there like Thanksgiving?"

"Well, usually I do all of Christmas Eve and make sure to put in a few hours on the day of, but the 24th is Chopper's birthday so I'll probably switch it around. I also need to work on his cake. I know he likes things super sweet, but not everyone else does so I should make a second cake…"

Zoro put his dishes in the sink, aware that Sanji was, at this point, talking to himself. He let the cook babble on, but decided to interrupt once he began mulling over the possibility of coordinating the color of the food with the color of the birthday decorations. "Does this mean you'll be out and about for the next few days?"

Sanji paused mid-sentence. "Probably. But you're free to stay here even if I'm out. It's not like you need me to watch you train and take naps all day."

"Make fun of my training all you want, I'm not the one who spends all my time around food. But I'm going back to my own apartment today."

"I guess that takes care of the issue, then." Sanji wasn't disappointed. He didn't _have_ a reason to be disappointed and Zoro had every reason to want to stay at his own place instead of Sanji's. "When are you heading out?"

"Bathroom and then I'm off."

"As long as you're not taking a shit. You can stink up your own place, thanks."

"I forget how classy you are sometimes."

"Class is wasted on the likes of you."

"And yet I still manage to survive," Zoro called out the bathroom door. When he was done, he grabbed his jacket and headed out. "I left the seat down for you. I know how much you women hate having it left up." He shut the apartment door just in time to hear a heavy something thud against the door behind him.

Sanji pushed away the nagging realization that Zoro was getting the last word in more often. He rolled up his sleeves and stood in front of the sink. His kitchen was his haven. It always had been and it probably always would be. But the downside of taking on the position of personal chef for all his friends meant that he spent most of his time in someone else's kitchen. When he worked, he'd take the leftovers at the end of the day and would rarely have a reason to cook for himself while at home.

Zoro's 'visits' had been the only times in a long while that Sanji had gotten around to cooking in his own kitchen. And that stretch of time when he was making brunch for Zoro, with the blue of the ocean always in sight, had been utter peace. _Or, at least, when that loud-assed mossball kept his mouth shut._

Sanji felt the emptiness of the apartment. The silence. _It'd be nice to have someone to cook for at home on a regular basis._ He mulled over the way Zoro never complimented his cooking, yet always looked at the food with appreciation. He wasn't picky and would finish whatever was placed in front of him. Sanji loved that about him.

He froze. Hands submerged in sudsy water. _What the hell am I going on about? He says something nice about my eyes and suddenly I want to cook for him every day?_ Zoro was winning. Sanji wasn't sure what the competition was, but Zoro was winning. And Zoro had been winning from the moment he hadn't freaked out on the bus while Sanji had.

Zoro was right. Sanji wasn't training enough.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

There were people in Zoro's apartment. He could barely hear the voices from down the hall, but they were there. Zoro pressed an ear to his door, hand resting on a sword.

"We'll get him eventually and I'll relish taking you down with him." The first voice was unfamiliar.

"I'd love to see you try and contain the massive turf wars that'd result if Whitebeard ever _did_ disappear. Pops takes better care of his territories than you _suits_ ever could. And even **you** know that the top brass prefers it that way so they don't have to deal with it themselves." _Aaaand that's Ace._

"What's that, Portgas? Even if I can't touch you officially, there's enough in your file to justify my making your life one hell of an inconvenience."

"I'd love to be _inconvenienced_ by you, Smoker."

Zoro pushed the door open. He knew that Ace had more secrets than most and he had never been particularly interested in finding out what they were. "Oi." Ace was lounging in a chair with a mischievous glint in his eye while a large white-haired man in a fur-trimmed white jacket stood glaring.

"Oh hey, Zoro! You have a guest." Ace waved at him before motioning towards the other man.

"You're Roronoa?"

"Zoro. Who the hell are you?"

"Agent Smoker, FBI." [1] He flashed an ID card. "I just have a few questions." The man's face looked as though it were stuck in a permanent scowl, but, Zoro reasoned, it might've just been because of the way Ace was grinning at him.

"If this has anything to do with Mihawk or Vivi, then I'm not interested and there's nothing to tell, anyways." Zoro made his way to his liquor cabinet, only to have the empty shelves remind him that he had taken everything to Vivi's house.

He was going to blame this on Ace.

"Your level of interest in the matter doesn't concern me. I have questions and you'll answer them." Zoro's grip on his sword tightened. Ace noticed.

"Now, now, Smoker. Didn't you say you were planning on meeting up with your lovely partner? Why don't we _all_ just go out and have this nice little discussion over lunch, then?"

"I already ate." Zoro saw the empty beer cans in the trash. "Have you been living in my apartment?"

"Well, you weren't using it. And my booty calls, unlike _yours_, don't come with a five star meal, so **I** want lunch. We'll go to some place with a bar so you can drink and Smoker can have the cigar I know he's itching to have." Zoro didn't ask why Ace was so well acquainted with an FBI agent. It probably had to do with all his unannounced trips down to San Diego.

"Just let me pack some stuff."

Smoker didn't look amused, but he really did want a cigar, so he agreed.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sanji couldn't quite remember what life was like before Zoro. And not necessarily because of Zoro _himself_, but because of the friends Zoro had brought with him.

"You honestly don't know what Chopper's favorite color is?" Sanji stared at Luffy, strawhat loyally sitting atop his head despite the cold weather.

"Ehh? He likes candy?"

Sanji sighed. "I know he likes candy, but that's not really a _color_, Luffy. Though… I don't think I really know what his favorite non-sweet **food** is."

Luffy perked up. "As one of his best friends, I feel like I should tell you that he really likes meat. He'd probably be really angry if you didn't make lots of steak and chicken and ham and fish and-" Sanji smacked him on the side of the head.

"I'm not an idiot, Luffy. I at least know that Chopper's a vegetarian." Sanji smiled. "Maybe, I should design the party around that. It'll be a no meat zone!"

Usopp raised his hand. "Ah, sorry. My doctor said that it is absolutely necessary for me to eat meat with every meal."

Luffy's eyes sparkled. "Is that a contagious disease?"

"Alas~ it is not a disease, but a side-effect of me being a Real Man. Because Real Men are carnivores and, if I am forced to eat only fruit and vegetables all day long, I will be driven crazy by the hunger and will eat the closest source of meat. EVEN IF IT'S A FRIEND!"

Sanji shut them up with two swift kicks and headed towards the grocery store entrance. "I guess I should get tofu. There's a lot that I can do with tofu."

Usopp dusted himself off. "Uhh… I guess I could always call Kaya and ask if she has any ideas?"

Sanji grabbed a cart. "Kaya?"

"She's my childhood friend and she went to the same pre-med school with Chopper. They used to live on the same floor in the dorms."

Sanji frowned. "But I'm really quite warming up to the idea of an all-organic-vegetarian party."

Usopp quickly pulled out his cellphone and made the call.

A few hours later found Sanji's trunk filled with pink decorations and bags full of groceries. He had planned on going straight back to his apartment and sorting out the paperwork for the soup kitchen, but despite their nonstop complaining and moping about for the majority of the shopping trip, Luffy and Usopp had stayed to help.

"We'll drop the stuff off at my apartment and then we'll head to Chinatown." Sanji pulled the driver-side door open.

"_More_ shopping? Can't we just go to the zoo?" Luffy was eyeing a colorful advertisement featuring a monkey.

"Fisherman's Wharf isn't too far from Chinatown. They've got a few rides and you can check out the sea lions?" Luffy visibly brightened.

But Usopp paled. "Y-you mean. The sea lions with teeth? And weigh thousands of pounds? The one's that _aren't_ in secure cages? Those sea lions? I just remembered that I have a huge project I need to finish so I'll probably be leaving now."

"That's too bad. I thought that, since New Years is around the corner, you'd be able to pick out some fireworks and firecrackers that we could all set off." Sanji was hanging on the open car door.

"Like sparklers? All the hardcore fireworks and stuff are illegal."

"That's why we're going to Chinatown. I know a guy." _At least, I think Gin deals in fireworks too._

Usopp's eyes were conflicted. It was obvious he found the idea of getting his hand on fireworks exciting, but the "illegal" aspect made him hesitate. But only for a second. "I could take them apart and maybe see if I could create my own effect or even just use the materials and design for some of my own projects…" Usopp climbed into the car as he continued to consider the possibilities.

"Alright! Let's go eat some sea lions!"

"Dammit, Luffy! How many times have I told you that you're not allowed to ride on the hood of my car?"

"But this is the best view, right Usopp?"

"You know, I bet we could get Franky to make us seats out there."

Sanji didn't care what life was like before he met Zoro. _It's not such a bad thing, surrounding myself with idiots._

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Of all the restaurants, Ace." Zoro found himself standing in front of a familiar floating wooden fish.

"What? Franky recommends the place. It's just an added bonus that we might see your girlfriend working too."

"He said he has other stuff to do today."

"It's no fun if you don't fight it."

The Baratie was much more crowded than the first time Zoro had been there. The customers were a mix of dockworkers, tourists, and locals. The atmosphere was less violent than when Sanji had been there, but it was still much livelier than most restaurants he had been to.

"My partner said she'd be here soon so we might as well get a table." Smoker lit his cigar. [2]

"Ahh~ Welcome back, moron!" Patty was fluttering his eyelashes, hands clasped together, as he led them to an empty table.

Zoro loosened up as soon as he had his drink in hand. "I honestly have no idea what you're expecting to get from me. I challenged Mihawk, lost, and that's as far as my association with him goes."

"We already assumed as much. Mihawk generally works alone, from what we know. Do you have any idea what he was doing in Spain at the time? Overhear any conversations?"

"I have nothing." Smoker looked thoroughly bored, as though he hadn't really expected to get any information of use in the first place. "How'd you guys even hear about that, anyways? I doubt Vivi and that kid tipped off the feds."

"You're an idiot if you thought that you were the only form of surveillance they had on the girl." Smoker nodded to someone behind Zoro.

"I hear you're still using your swords for cheap tricks. I bet you'd join a circus if it paid better." Zoro stiffened at the voice.

"Geh. Tashigi. Will you give it up already?" _Go Away. Go Away._

"You have such beautiful swords and you treat them like party favors. It's insulting!" Tashigi made her way around Zoro and towards the empty chair next to Smoker, managing to trip within the short distance.

"**She's** your partner? You've gotta be fucking kidding me. FBI?"

"You can only imagine my surprise when I found out _you_ had been given a license to carry your swords with a sponsor from the Alabastan government."

He had never been able to properly fight Tashigi. Not when she looked so much like Kuina. "Ugh. Can't you grow out your hair or dye it red or something? Even better, start wearing a mask." He downed his bottle of beer.

At least. He tried to.

Instead, he watched his bottle shatter on the ground a few feet away. He grit his teeth.

"You really need to learn how to respect women. Telling such a beautiful lady to cover her face…" Sanji had gotten a hold of Tashigi's hand and given her a quick kiss before she could yank it back.

"I thought you weren't working here today, shit-cook." Zoro could hear Ace snickering.

"Luffy got hungry."

"He's always hungry."

"He wanted to eat the sea lions."

Smoker got up from the table. "This was fairly unproductive. We're heading back, Tashigi."

Tashigi stood up, looking at Zoro. "I spoke to Kohza before I came here and I agree with him that there's something going on, but Vivi's refusing to accept our protection until we can present a solid threat. So, if you're serious about keeping her safe, then you need to keep an eye out." She followed Smoker out the door.

"Anyone else notice how she failed to mention the part where she arrested Kohza because he's a rebel?" Zoro hadn't realized how tense he was until Tashigi had left the restaurant. _I know she's not Kuina, but it's uncanny how similar they are._

Sanji was still standing. "While individuals can be arrested for vandalism and stuff like that, Vivi's dad never deemed the rebels _as a whole_ to be criminals since they haven't resorted to violence. He considers it a way to encourage his citizens to speak freely."

"Which reminds me that I need you to explain what the hell's up with this whole 'Baroque Works' thing." Zoro could see that Ace had joined Luffy and Usopp at a table not too far behind Sanji. "Smoker, the white-haired guy, left before any of us actually ordered anything so we might as well head back to your place."

"I promised Luffy and Usopp food and we just got here."

Zoro pushed his chair back. "Which means you haven't had time to order yet, either. Too bad you hate cooking and don't have a kitchen in your apartment." Sanji rolled his eyes. Zoro looked down at the forgotten bag at his feet. "And I don't want to carry this shit all over the city."

Sanji looked at the bag. "I thought you were going back to your apartment."

"Yeah, but just to grab a few things." He could see Sanji visibly relax. It wasn't a reaction Zoro had been expecting. But it also wasn't a _bad_ reaction. He grinned. "Did you think I wasn't coming back, ero-cook? Did you miss me?"

He was taken aback by the seriousness in Sanji's eyes. But it was temporary. "It's your turn to wash the sheets." Zoro watched as Sanji returned to his table, said a few words, and left the restaurant with Luffy and Usopp close at his heels.

Ace was still at the table, smiling at Zoro. "What now, Ace."

"Used to be, Sanji would aim for your face. This time he just kicked over your beer and you didn't even reach for your swords. You guys sure _bicker_ a whole lot, but you barely do any real fighting nowadays."

Zoro hadn't noticed. "I'll fix that." He lifted his bag and followed Sanji.

Ace sighed. "I wasn't saying it was a bad thing, you idiot."

**Footnotes:**

[1]: For those who don't know~ CIA deals with foreign threats/issues while the FBI deals with domestic. The situation in this story deals with both, but even if the Alabastan uprising would be a CIA issue, they would need to go through the FBI if they want info/surveillance on an American citizen (i.e. Zoro).

[2]: So, technically, California has a statewide smoking ban that includes all restaurants. But we're going to pretend this isn't the case or that there's some loophole because they're on a boat. The Baratie boys are rebels anyways soooo yeah. We'll go with that. (I also obviously ignore this when I have Sanji smoking everywhere.)


	12. Chapter 12

So, it's been a while, sorry! Family stuff happened and writing this chapter became impossible. But it's here now~ &, honestly, it could very well have taken me another month to get the motivation to write this chapter if it hadn't been for you guys. So, as always, lots of love to you all!  
**  
****Rating:** R  
**Word Count:**3,900  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece = Eiichiro Oda =/= me.  
**  
****Notes:** I caught the summer cold so my head isn't quite in the right place right now, so editing will probably be really very shoddy. But I just couldn't hold off on posting it anymore.

* * *

Sanji picked up the empty plates that were scattered on the coffee table in front of his entertainment center. Usopp was sitting on the floor with his back against the couch and Sanji's laptop balanced on his knees as he stared intently at a diagram of a dissected firecracker. Luffy was sprawled out on the couch watching a generic Christmas flick, staring longingly at the snowball fight taking place on screen.

Dirty dishes in hand Sanji walked back down the hall to the kitchen. They had picked up Zoro's weights from Vivi's place on their way to Sanji's and Zoro had set up shop in front of the window. Sanji set the dishes in the sink, leaving them for later. "So, what exactly did you want to know?"

"Just enough to have an idea of what Baroque Works is." Zoro picked up his weights, immediately deciding that training through another lengthy conversation with Sanji was more appealing than sitting still.

Sanji sat on the floor and stretched out his legs, immediately deciding that stretching through another one of Zoro's training sessions was more subtle than staring.

"Baroque Works is, well… think souped up country club or old-school gentlemen's club. Membership is exclusive and highly selective. An invitation to join is a promise of wealth, power, and influence. The members practically own the country."

Earlier that day, Zoro would have insisted that, along with the sex, the ocean view was the best benefit of staying with Sanji. But, as Sanji arched his back in a particularly flexible maneuver, he was beginning to reconsider. "Okay. So they're just like the upper class here?"

"Except that, instead of relying on exploiting loopholes in regulations, Baroque Works really has no qualms with killing people who get in their way. They plant corrupt politicians for the sole purpose of starting scandals and defacing the current government. And, very much unlike the regular scenario, the Alabastan working class loves them."

"The people love them?"

"Easy to do if you control the media and easy to get away with if it's a tiny country that no one else pays much attention to. And, just to clarify, Robin only joined Baroque Works to gain access to an archaeological dig that they owned. _And_, while we're at it, Nami's not a terrible person either. She had a rough childhood that kind of forced her into some shady stuff as a kid and ultimately shaped her view on money. So, try not to hold it against them, okay?"

"You make it sound like I've just been itching to stick it to 'em. I don't hate women, y'know."

"Sometimes you act like you do."

"No. What I don't like are women who act like they deserve special treatment just because they're women."

"Why do I, a chivalrous knight, hang out with you, a brutish barbarian?" Sanji was now on his back, legs in the air. "Is that what happened with the lovely lady at the Baratie? Was she asking for special treatment?"

Zoro hesitated.

"No. She just looks like Kuina." Zoro picked up heavier weights. "And sounds like Kuina and wields her sword like Kuina."

Sanji watched the way Zoro's muscles bulged, the raised veins and furrowed brow. "But she's obviously not Kuina."

Zoro thought about how odd it was to hear Kunia's name come from someone else. To hear it come from _Sanji_. "No, obviously not." He put down his weights and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Sanji. "But if I fought her and won… I just can't. I can't face Tashigi when I still associate her with Kuina. I absolutely understand that they're two completely different people, but part of me feels that beating Tashigi would be proving Kuina right."

_Looks like I wasn't told the full Story of Zoro the first time around._ Sanji felt slighted. "Right about what?" Zoro looked up with an expression as though he hadn't realized he had been speaking out loud.

"I mentioned how I was never able to beat her?" Sanji nodded. "After that last fight, which of course she won, she broke down saying that being a woman meant she'd grow weak and I'd eventually win by default. I called bullshit and that's when we made our promise."

"Well," Sanji stared up at the ceiling, head resting on folded arms, "there _are_ certain… biological differences that could put females at a physical disadvantage?"

Zoro scowled at him. "It's also said that females have a better center of balance. And some people have asthma while others have a fantastic metabolism. A disadvantage just means that you have to work that much harder."

"Who knew you were such a feminist."

"Everyone knows you're sexist."

Sanji rolled onto his side to face Zoro. "It's not like I do things for women because I think they can't do it themselves. It's just... I want to." _It's how I was raised_ seemed like more of an excuse than a reason.

Usopp hovered in the hallway, just out of sight. He really wanted to go to the bathroom, but Sanji and Zoro were **talking**.

"Psssst. Luffy. Hey. Luffy." Usopp took off his socks and threw them at his friend, whose eyes were still locked on the screen. "Sanji said he made you pot roast, but Zoro ate it all."

Luffy was on Zoro in an instant and Usopp snuck into the bathroom. Sanji got up off the floor and sat at his desk. "When you two are done writhing around on my floor, we should really start going over the plans for Chopper's birthday party. Which is tomorrow, by the way."

Several hours and a few phone conferences later, Sanji's refrigerator was full of partially prepared food, his table was covered with hand drawn banners, and Usopp had left early to work on a last minute project with Franky. By the time Sanji returned from dropping off Luffy, Zoro was finishing the final cardboard cutouts. He stood with his swords unsheathed, having found the scissors and razors that had been set out to be much too inefficient. Sanji took in the mess that was his dining area and dropped the bag of balloons he had bought on his way home and left them in the hallway.

"I'm thinking it's about time for bed." He pulled off his tie and hung it on his bedroom doorknob. "Feel free to join me."

Zoro's swords were sheathed in record time and his shirt was already off by the time he kicked Sanji's door shut behind him.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Zoro was awake and breakfast wasn't made.

He could tell because Sanji's forehead was pressing into his shoulder and Zoro could feel the warmth of steady breathing against his arm. He shifted slowly, gently freeing his limb from the tight space between his side and Sanji's body. He stretched the freed arm across Sanji's unused pillow as the blonde's forehead resettled directly against the side of Zoro's torso. He held back a laugh as he imagined how Sanji would react upon waking up to a faceful of Zoro's armpit.

He circled his arm around Sanji and he wondered if he might be crossing some line as his fingers stroked through the golden strands of hair. But then again, they had never really drawn any lines to begin with. They had never tried to explain away why that first time had happened and why the second time had happened and now this third time.

Sanji shifted.

At this point, they probably fit under the category of 'fuck buddies'. Ace would insist 'lovers', but neither felt quite right. One seemed too detached while the other implied a level of emotional commitment that they didn't exactly have. It implied romance. And Zoro and Sanji were not _romantically_ involved.

But then there was that kiss.

And then there was this right now. What Zoro was doing could very well be classified as cuddling with Sanji.

This was emotional attachment.  
Sharing his life story was emotional attachment.  
Zoro was emotionally attached.

_But that doesn't make us lovers._

Zoro closed his eyes.

They really didn't need a label.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Zoro was warm. Almost uncomfortably so. Sanji cracked an eye open and was met with a close up view of a broad chest. He was half lying on his side and half lying on Zoro with a cheek plastered to tan skin. One hand was trapped between their two bodies while the other was constricted by Zoro's arm wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't even try to figure out the knot made from the tangle of their legs and the sheets.

It was one of the most awkward positions Sanji had ever woken to find himself in. He contemplated all the possible ways he could wiggle free without waking the other man, but was quickly losing hope.

"Whatever happened to you being used to waking up first in order to prep breakfast?"

Sanji stiffened. Then relaxed. If Zoro was awake then he could move around at will. "I have a shitload of stuff to do today and tomorrow. Making sure you wake up to the smell of breakfast is hardly a priority."

Zoro let out a big yawn and Sanji's head followed the rise and fall of his chest.  
_Just need to push away and I'm free. Could even just roll over. Rolling over is pretty…_

Zoro pulled him a little closer and Sanji drifted back off to sleep.

The next time he woke up, Sanji could smell bacon. He found it oddly disconcerting. _Though waking up to the smell of food really is quite nice._

He rolled over.

And then the idea of Zoro in his kitchen, cooking, sank in and Sanji shot out of bed and into the next room. Which was oddly devoid of the mess that had been left there the previous night.

"Did you clean? And…You're cooking." Zoro was at the stove, a dumbbell in one hand and a spatula in the other. "I always imagined this scenario would involve a lot more fire and the destruction of my kitchen. Which would inevitably end in your death, because I'd need to avenge my kitchen, and the death of anyone unfortunate enough to have actually eaten your… concoction."

"Robin stopped by not too long ago to pick up all the decorations. And just how often do you daydream about me in your kitchen? I be you've got one hell of an apron fetish." Sanji edged a little closer. Nothing smelled burnt and everything still seemed to be in perfect working order. "I _have_ been living alone. I can at least make bacon. Who _doesn't_ know how to cook** bacon**?"

"But is it _good_ bacon?" Sanji peered over Zoro's shoulder, unconvinced. "What else are you making?"

Zoro could feel Sanji's breath on his neck. He decided to let a couple pieces of bacon burn. "What else? Bacon is breakfast enough for me. Unless your highness would be willing to stoop to the levels of toast? And I mean _toast_. None of that fancy shit with the sugar and fruit."

Sanji pushed him aside. "You're burning it."

"What if I just like my bacon crispy?"

"There's a difference between crispy and blackened. I do hope you realize you'll be eating all the pieces you've ruined. So much for being able to _at least_ cook bacon."

Zoro ran a hand up Sanji's thigh. "I only burn bacon for you." He grabbed a handful of sliced bread and made his way over to the toaster. "And toast is a lot easier to burn than people make it seem." In a blur of movement Zoro found himself with the counter digging into his back and his mouth full of Sanji. He switched their positions, lifting Sanji onto the countertop and pressing close. _I knew he couldn't stand having a plain and simple breakfast._

Sanji hadn't thought to pull on anything more than his underwear and was regretting it because it gave Zoro had easy access and "Not in my fucking kitchen, moss head." He had intended to push Zoro away, but was only successful in somehow pulling him closer. "I put food on this counter. There's food on this counter _right now_." Zoro ignored him and unbuckled his own belt. Sanji moaned out a final "_I mean it_," but it was lost in Zoro's mouth.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

"This is… You guys are… _You guys._" Chopper did his best to frown, but, as always, failed terribly and instead stood staring wide-eyed at the room before him. In the center of the room there was soft pink snow drifting down from the ceiling and coating an area of the floor. Colorful banners and streamers stretched from wall to wall and several large multi-colored sticks of cotton candy acting as table ornaments.

"**Happy Birthday Chopper‼**"

His friends were spread out before him with huge smiles and winter coats. Not too far away was a table piled with presents and two more with food. He smiled back as he rubbed at his eyes and was soon caught in a mesh of several arms and bodies with several hands patting his head before being pulled away by Luffy.

"I always thought Candy Land was creepy enough when it didn't exist in real life." Zoro had settled on one of the couches pushed up against the wall away from the makeshift winter wonderland and across the room from where Kohza was keeping an eye on both him and Vivi. He turned his attention to Sanji, who was currently in the midst of a snowball fight. "The snow looks real."

"That little red-headed sis had quite a bit of input that made it practically authentic. She and Usopp collaborated on the snow machine," Franky answered from the seat next to him. "I installed a cooling system in the floor so it could stick because Luffy insisted that they be able to make snowmen."

Ace squeezed himself down between Zoro and Franky. "You shouldn't spoil him so much. He'll only expect greater and better the next time around." The snowball fight had ended and the construction of snowman replicas of everyone in the room had begun. "Sometimes I wonder about Sanji. One minute he's making snow thrones for the ladies and preaching about proper etiquette and being a gentlemen and the next he's doing a drunken jig with Usopp and Luffy." Sanji was, at that moment, arguing with Usopp about the best way to roast marshmallows over an indoor fire pit while Chopper stuffed several s'mores into his mouth.

"You look like a group of fathers watching their children play in the sandbox." Robin sat on the edge of the couch, hooking one arm around Franky's neck. "Sometimes I forget just how young the rest of you are."

"Babe, we're just aged to perfection." Robin smiled down at Franky.

"I do like things with more history."

Ace and Zoro quickly decided it was time for them to eat and left the two on their own. There were two long buffet tables. One looked Chopper friendly (fruits, vegetables, cheese, nuts, and an assortment of meat replacements) while the other buffet table held the opposite.

Zoro grabbed a plate while Ace lent his hat to his snowman double. "I really hope you don't think you're going to serve yourself before the ladies have had their pick."

Zoro openly groaned. "I'm not Luffy. There'll be plenty of food left once I've taken my share. Unless you're not confident that you've made enough for everyone?"

He didn't see Sanji's foot whip out before it connected with his back, but Zoro silently thanked his reflexes for saving him from flying into the table. "If you have such a fucking problem with my rules, then you can stay the hell away from my food." Sanji's eyes were angry. Zoro didn't really want to have to deal with it.

He gripped his swords and faced Sanji. The cook lit a cigarette.

"Nope. Nope-nope-nope-nope. No fighting. _No patients on my birthday_." Chopper had the uncanny ability of sounding much larger than he actually was when angry and, when accompanied by his overbearing cuteness, it was nigh impossible to ignore him.

Zoro's swords disappeared and Sanji put out his cigarette. "Sorry, Chopper. How about I go and serve the cake now and then you can open presents?" Chopper grinned and followed Sanji, skipping, to the large pink cake that had a table of its own.

"As a doctor, you'd think the kid would be a little more careful about his sugar intake." Zoro stood by Ace, who was now tracing abs into his snowman doppelganger.

"People tend to be hypocrites. Like doctors who smoke. Though, in Chopper's case, he is still a kid so I think he gets a bit of leeway. Unlike certain green-haired swordsmen who are no longer minors and should have, by now, developed some semblance of being a Mature Adult." Ace stood up, dusting the homemade snow off his pants.

"What did I do _now_? If it's about the blonde, I'd like to point out that he's the one who threw a tantrum."

"But you guys were doing _so well_. And I guess it's partially my fault for pointing out the fact that you guys were actually being civil towards each other, but really it's your entire fault for taking my observation as some sort of criticism." Everyone had gathered around the cake and Sanji had begun lighting the candles.

_I guess I do sort of remember Ace saying something like that._ "I didn't provoke him, if that's what you're getting at. At least, not intentionally. It's not my fault the damn cook is overprotective of his kitchen." Zoro and Ace made their way over to the group.

"What the hell did you do to his kitchen?"

"I didn't do anything _to_ his kitchen. It's more like what I did **in** his kitchen, and, well, you're the one who told me not to kiss and tell."

Ace looked pained. "I'd love to congratulate you and exchange manly pats on the back, but I'd really just pretend we didn't have this conversation and maybe I'll still be able to enjoy the food I'm about to eat without having to think about _where_ it was made and what surfaces it's been sitting on."

Zoro grinned at his friend as they all broke out in a loud rendition of "Happy Birthday to You" for which Franky had choreographed a dance and after which Chopper spent a full minute trying to blow out the flames before finally discovering that they were trick candles, courtesy of Usopp. Brook showed up not long after and one table was soon cleared to be used as an impromptu stage for drunken karaoke, the ridiculousness of which was further aided by the lack of an actual karaoke machine and, instead, Brook playing all songs requested despite having never even heard of half of them.

No one mentioned that the snow had stopped falling, too distracted by Usopp's tearful oration on the epic tale that was his friendship with Chopper. Nor did they see Ace disable the smoke alarm while Franky helped turn their tiny fire pit into a mini bonfire. And only Zoro noticed that all the empty dishes had been cleared and the cook was nowhere in sight.

He took a quick survey of the large room and headed towards the large glass doors that led outside. Sanji was leaning over the porch railing and staring at the darkness of the empty street in front of him. Zoro silently shut the door behind him and admired how perfect Sanji looked when he thought no one was around.

Sanji, completely at ease.

Sanji, not trying to impress.

Sanji, who was now staring back at him.

"This isn't one of your catering events. You don't have to clean up and disappear the second we've finished eating."

"And you really shouldn't feel so obligated to come out and find me every time I take a smoke break." Zoro couldn't clearly see Sanji's face, the porch lights were off and the street lights dim.

"You're still angry about doing it in the kitchen. I'd like to remind you that you didn't exactly resist." Zoro wanted to move closer. It was disconcerting, not being able to see those blue eyes. But Zoro could feel the tension and Sanji looked about ready to bolt.

Sanji wasn't moving either. "I know. _I know_. And that's the problem. It was my kitchen, my sanctuary, and I _didn't resist_, not really. In fact, I initiated it. And I couldn't resist _because_ it was you and…" Sanji let out a frustrated sound.

"I can't tell if you're complaining or if you're complimenting my sexual prowess."

Sanji grit his teeth, he was staring at the floor. "It is **not** a compliment. And it isn't about the sex because, I mean, really, that first time wasn't exactly the most pleasant experience I've ever had. But Robin's right. I'm not just using you as a replacement for women to get around Nami's restrictions. I mean… _shit_ Zoro, I've practically asked you to move in." Sanji was looking straight at him now.

Zoro moved away from the door. The tension was still there, thicker than ever, but Sanji's eyes were unwavering. "This is beginning to sound an awful lot like a confession, curly brows."

Sanji looked confused for a second. Eyes hesitant. Then he came to a decision.  
"That's exactly what this is."

Zoro didn't falter in his step and soon found himself standing in front of Sanji. He thumbed the tense jaw and returned the kiss he had received that second night.  
Painfully slow. Tender.  
Meaningful.

The kiss didn't last very long. Sanji's fingers were pressed into Zoro's chest, slightly curling into his shirt. "So, what, am I your boyfriend now, love cook?"

"_Boyfriend_?" Sanji cringed. "No. _**No**_. The thought of referring to you as my boyfriend is just too weird." Neither had moved away after the kiss. Their noses were still touching.

"Then, what?" Zoro murmured into his cheek.

"I think 'marimo' is just fine."

"Good, because I think love cook is pretty accurate." Their words melted into another kiss.

Sound suddenly spilled out as the door opened and Nami stuck her head out. "Oh, good. Really glad I'm not interrupting anything." Zoro felt Sanji stiffen, but the blonde didn't pull away.

"What the hell do you want?" Zoro almost regretted his tone the second Sanji's heel dug into foot.

"Uhm. Nothing. Saying my goodbyes and heading home." She glanced at the phone in her hand and gave Sanji a distracted wave goodbye as she made her way across the porch and out to her car.

Sanji and Zoro stared after her in silence. "I thought everyone was spending the night?"

Sanji looked puzzled. "I'm more weirded out that she caught us with our tongues down each other's throats and just… walked by." He shook his head. "Well, she has been spending an awful lot of time at work, so she's probably just burned out."

"Well, whatever the reason." Zoro tugged on Sanji's wrist and pressed him against the porch rails with a more aggressive meeting of lips.

Sanji pulled Zoro closer. _I can't remember the last time I kissed anyone this much and still hand my pants on by the end. _He smirked against Zoro's lips and said, "Marimo."

"Love cook."


	13. Chapter 13

Turns out, summer school is more time consuming than my regular school year. Figures.  
**  
Word Count: **2,888  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece = Eiichiro Oda =/= me.  
**  
****Notes:** This chapter is a bit short. And by 'bit short' I mean 'the length my first few chapters were'.

* * *

Robin could walk into the ruins of an ancient civilization and understand the most minute details of a life lived thousands of years before. She had spent her entire life observing and analyzing both past and present and it gave her a solid understanding on what the future held.

Understanding Zoro, on the other hand, had proven a nearly impossible task. He had been there at the beginning, when Robin and Franky had been on the worst of terms and Zoro had never fully dropped his suspicions.

It was a fact that she understood and accepted.

In truth, it had only made her more intrigued and, with the addition of Sanji, solving The Roronoa Enigma had come to be one of her favorite pastimes.

She stood at her porch banister and looked down at Zoro, who was napping in a patch of sun at the foot of the stairs. "We do have more comfortable places to nap, Mr. Swordsman."

He didn't move. She sat on the steps.

"It seems that your relationship with our dear Mr. Cook is progressing smoothly. And, actually, quite normally as well."

Zoro's eyes were still shut. Robin rested her chin on her hands. Zoro was surrounded by strong-willed people and Robin was no exception. "I don't know what that red-headed witch told you in her nightly stalker report, but you're both probably assuming too much."

"Oh, now, Zoro, Nami didn't tell me anything. Our house actually has windows and, sometimes, those windows are open." Zoro cracked an eye open and looked at her in irritation. "Anyways, for us to assume _too much_ still implies that _something _did happen."

Zoro didn't dislike Robin; in fact, he had an incredible amount of respect for the woman. But she was overly curious. And it wasn't the Nami sort of curious where she was constantly sniffing out potential blackmail material. Robin's curiosity was for something else. It was for _understanding_ and _getting to know you_.

Neither of which being something Zoro was particularly interested in.

He slowly got up and brushed a few stray pieces of grass off his clothes. "Whatever's going on with me and the cook doesn't involve anyone except for me and the cook."

Robin grabbed his arm as he passed by. "You may have forgotten, Zoro, but I've known Sanji just a bit longer than you have and I've seen him when he's in love or _thinks_ he is. And he has a tendency to…"

"Like I said. You're assuming way too much. The reality of what happened last night is that he's confused. The damn blonde's got terrible defenses against women and you and Nami have been pushing him towards me for the past month." Zoro had woken up when Sanji left for the soup kitchen much earlier that morning. He had been left with plenty of time to contemplate what had happened the night before. And Zoro realized that Sanji hadn't really confessed so much as admitted that he was _beginning_ to consider Zoro as something more than a blow-up doll replacement.  
"I have no delusions on the matter." He stared at Robin's hand and she let go.

Zoro headed back into the house and almost didn't hear her words over the crunch of discarded wrapping paper under his feet. "You shouldn't underestimate Sanji's mental strength, Zoro. And you should watch out, your defenses are slipping."

"I'm in complete control of my defenses."

"This is probably the most you've spoken to me about yourself in all the time I've known you."

"I'm already regretting it."

Robin continued to smile as he walked inside.  
_That damn smile._

Zoro hadn't, at any point in his life, actively made the decision to not talk about his past. It was simply something he didn't see much worth in telling to others.

Zoro passed by Chopper, surrounded by a pile of books and headed to the backyard. Luffy was hopping around on his new pogo stick and Usopp was engrossed in his professional grade customizable slingshot set. Luffy bounced over to him, reaching surprising heights. _Franky probably couldn't resist tweaking it a bit._ Zoro looked up as Luffy sat next to him. "Enjoying your presents?"

Luffy nodded. "I can't wait to go skydiving and bunjee jumping." He dropped to his back and stared up at the sky. "Sanji's really good at giving gifts."

Zoro followed his friend's gaze to the clouds. The sky was lightening and the sun was peeking out. It was surprisingly warm for the end of December. "You're just easily pleased."

It was a lie. Luffy was actually terribly picky. He always expected gifts to be spectacular and had no reservations with letting someone know if he thought something was boring. _But, then again, 'spectacular' for Luffy could be something as simple as a day at the zoo._

"A pogostick is fun, but Sanji's good at giving gifts _because_ he didn't get us things." Luffy pulled his strawhat over his face. "I'd rather go on an adventure. And that's exactly what he got each of us."

Sanji had gotten Franky tickets to Dr. Vega Punk's extremely rare inventors showcase. For Robin, he had pulled in favors to get her on a researcher's team for a recently discovered island ghost town which included a shipwreck exploration dive. Everyone else in their small circle of friends had received gifts of a similar nature and spirit.

Zoro and Sanji had decided not to exchange gifts.

Luffy folded his hands on his stomach. "How about your gift? Did you like the promise of memories that Sanji gave you?"

Zoro stared at his friend in silence. Luffy could seem childish and immature most of the time, but he was always there to do and say the right thing at all the important bits.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Good." Luffy grinned.

And Zoro remembered why the kid was his best friend.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sanji hated working at the soup kitchen during holidays. It was overstaffed with inexperienced one-time holiday-only volunteers, there was always too much corn and not enough meat, and Sanji often had to settle for food not cooked to perfection.

But the worst part was being stuck in the kitchen for the entire day. And it wasn't so much being _in the kitchen_ that bothered him as much as it was being in the kitchen and not being able to see the people enjoying his food.

He watched the frantic bustling of the many volunteers. Everyone was sweating, unavoidable in a crowded kitchen with all burners on, but most also had a smile on their face.

_Okay. So maybe I don't __**hate **__working holidays._ He reached out and caught a plate of cookies as one guy's apron snagged on the edge of a counter. It wasn't the first almost-casualty of the night and Sanji knew there would be more, but he had been sure to let all his workers know that any food that ended up on the floor would be the main course for all of their meals throughout the day.

"Sanji, it's time for your break." Sanji glanced at the teenage girl who had appeared next to him. She was one of the regular volunteers and had long become accustomed to Sanji's rules in the kitchen.

He grabbed an unused pot and emptied several cans of clam chowder into it. "I'm skipping my break."

The young girl grabbed his arm and shoved him towards the staircase leading to the offices on the second floor. "You've already skipped two of your breaks. Go upstairs and take a nap." She continued to glare at him until he turned around and made his way up the stairs.

He opened a window and lit his first cigarette of the day.  
_My first cigarette since…_

He looked out the window.

Sanji had spent much of Christmas Eve awake replaying the scene on Robin and Franky's porch. He was still unable to rationalize what had happened, but he had stopped caring by the time his alarm had eventually gone off.

Sanji wanted to blame everything on Zoro, but Sanji had been the one to initiate everything. Zoro just followed through. And each time, Sanji had acted without thinking. And each time, Zoro had accepted without complaint.

The pattern was pissing him off.

_Because_ he had initiated everything, he was unsure about what Zoro actually felt, and whether he was going along with Sanji out of convenience or actual _feelings_.

And this realization had pissed him off.

Because it meant that Sanji had easily accepted his own feelings for Zoro. And that they were in fact **feelings**. _For Zoro_.

And it wasn't an issue of being straight, gay, or bi (though Sanji _had_ spent a number of sleepless hours failing to solve this particular issue.)

It was an issue of 'What happens now?'

Sanji shut the window and stretched out on the couch. He wondered if he'd get away with skipping the rest of his breaks on account of thinking too much.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Vivi looked at her clock. Nami would be by to pick her up any minute.

"Kohza. Has Zoro been cleared yet?"

Kohza looked wearily at Vivi. She had been asking the same question every day. "Would you really rather have a complete stranger around instead of me?"

She almost looked apologetic. "It's not about wanting him around _instead_ of you. He's a friend and I'd like him to be around _as well_."

Kohza watched as Vivi searched for her jacket. "Can't you look at this from my perspective? Just humor me, Vivi. What's a month if it means saving the Alabastan people from having to mourn the loss of their princess?" Vivi's strength had always come from the idealistic love of her country, but that same love was her biggest weakness.

She pursed her lips and turned away. "But I think living with me was _good_ for Zoro. It forced him to actually spend time with his friends. He's probably back to spending his entire day lifting weights and training."

"What're you talking about? Isn't he living with your chef?"

"What?" She stood holding a heavy blue coat and looked at Kohza, confused. "Sanji lives alone. I mean, I know they arrived at Robin's together and the other day Luffy was complaining about how it wasn't fair that Zoro got to eat Sanji's cooking for every meal. And I _was_ wondering why Ace said that he was thinking about moving into Zoro's apartment so it wouldn't be a waste of rent, but…"

Kohza didn't think he'd ever understand how Vivi could be so considerate for her people, noticing and fulfilling their every need, but still manage to be completely clueless about everything else. But Vivi's cell phone rang and Kohza was saved from having to clue her in.

"I'll be down in a bit, Nami." She grabbed her purse and turned back to Kohza.

"I'm coming."

Vivi sighed and headed out the door. When they reached the cool night air, Nami was nowhere in sight. Instead, a suit-clad figure was sitting on a bench in the shadow of the building.

"Sanji? Nami didn't mention you'd be coming."

The blonde head turned slightly towards Vivi. "We thought it'd be better as a surprise. Also, I realized that I have yet to give you your Christmas present~"

"But you already gave me a present at Robin and Franky's?"

"That was just _oooone_ present, my dear."

Vivi put on a smile. Sanji had seemed troubled the past few days and it was comforting to see him back to his old, flirty self. Even if there was something about the way he talked that was creeping her out a little more than usual. "You really go through too much trouble, Sanji."

Sanji stood up, still in the shadows. "No trouble at all, Princess."

Kohza grabbed Vivi as she stepped forward. "Where's Nami?"

"I'm right behind you." Kohza and Vivi both turned turned.

Nami wasn't there.

Kohza pulled out his knife. "Get inside, Viv-_unghhh_!"

Sanji pulled his leg back, twisting the sharp metal point of his shoe out of Khoza's side in the process. "Stoooop joking aroouuund! You don't even have a chance of stopping me~"

"Shit!" Kohza clamped a hand down on his wound and tightened the grip on his knife. "**Go, Vivi!**" He lunged forward.

Vivi watched in horror as the pointed shoe dug into Kohza's chest before he could even get within arm's length of the other man. Kohza collapsed on the ground, blood pooling beneath him.

"_Kohza!_" Vivi rushed to his side and attempted to staunch the flow of blood with her jacket.

"Nooow now, Princess. There's really no point."

Vivi felt around for the phone still in her pocket. "You're obviously not Sanji. Who are you and what happened to Nami?"

The taller man pulled off the blonde wig and rubbed at his face, revealing a layer of heavy makeup. As he fully stepped out of the shadows Vivi realized he looked absolutely nothing like Sanji.

"You'll be joining your friend in a moment so no need to fuss. You can call me Bon Clay~" He twirled and gave a bow. "I do hope you enjoyed the show, but we have a deadline to make."

"Bon Clay? You're Baroque Works…" Vivi was pulled to her feet. "At least let me call the ambulance. You've already got me. There's no reason to let Kohza die here." She suddenly felt the pressure of fingers at her throat.

"Ah! Mr. Pigeon. That little ventriloquist trick you taught me was a fantastic addition to my performance."

Vivi glimpsed a top hat and long wavy hair as her vision went black.

"You're taking too long and talking too much. Let's go."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

It was nearing 3am by the time the soup kitchen volunteers released Sanji to go home. The actual kitchen had closed at midnight, but a group of workers had wanted to go out for a bit of holiday drinking and had insisted Sanji come along.

He staggered towards his apartment and hesitated at the door. Sanji wasn't sure if Zoro would be inside and he wasn't quite sure whether or not he wanted him to be. He slid to the floor, leaned his head back, and was abruptly reminded of the door behind him as his head made contact with the hard surface. He groaned and pulled his knees up to rest his forehead.

"Maybe I should send the apartment management a card of appreciation for their choice of carpet." As Sanji continued to admire the softness of the hallway carpeting, his apartment door opened and he found himself flat on his back.

"Comfy?" Zoro looked down at Sanji in amusement.

"Quiiite comfy." Only a dim hallway light was on in his apartment. "Did I wake you? How'd you know I was out here?"

"It's three in the morning, yeah I was asleep." Zoro reached out a hand and Sanji took it. "I woke to something hitting the door. I'm assuming it was your head when you were on your way to the floor. And, not sure if you realized, but you were kind of talking to, I assume, yourself really loudly." Sanji was still lying on the floor, hand clasped to Zoro's and making no effort to move. Zoro sighed and dragged him into the apartment before closing the door. "I always thought Christmas was a sober type of holiday and considered New Years the night for getting fucked up."

"Hey. I'm not wasted. I'm just tired." Sanji kicked off his shoes and reached for his tie. Which was missing. "And I wouldn't expect you to consider any holiday as being a sober holiday."

"I'm not a light-weight, like you."

Sanji finally found his way onto his feet with the help of a nearby wall. And looked straight at Zoro. "I'm lucid. I'm coherent. I'm tired. I may have had drinks shoved down my throat for the past few hours," he met Zoro's lips, "but I'm not wasted."

"You taste like alcohol."

"Your favorite flavor." Sanji turned away and squinted into the darkness as he tried to make his way to his room.

"I wouldn't say that." Zoro caught Sanji as he tripped. "Couch. Shouldn't you be able to navigate your own place in the dark? Especially since, you know, you're not wasted." Sanji grumbled at Zoro and eventually found his bed. He slipped off the rest of his clothes and crawled under the covers. He was asleep within a minute.

Zoro walked back into the kitchen and picked up the cup of coffee he had poured not fifteen minutes before and headed to the sink. _I wonder if that idiot love cook would consider dumping coffee a waste of food._ He could hear Sanji's steady breathing drift in from the open bedroom door.

_This is ridiculous._

Living with Sanji hadn't been a big deal. But, somehow, the coffee stained cup was. It was Zoro waiting for Sanji to come home.  
Zoro _lying_ about waiting for Sanji to come home.  
Zoro caring about wasting a cup of coffee that Sanji would've never known had gone down the drain.

He stared at the dark still-steaming liquid.  
_It's when you hesitate that you lose._

Zoro tilted his head back and downed the remaining coffee.  
He stared at the empty cup.  
"Well. I guess that's that."


	14. Chapter 14

Took foreverrrr. No excuses. Blame Arthur&Eames.  
**  
Word Count:**3,330  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece = Odacchi =/= me.  
**  
****Notes:** So, the end is in sight. There will probably only be a handful of chapters from here on (not even sure I'll hit the 20 chapters mark, but we'll see.)

* * *

Living with Your Someone was definitely overrated.

Sure, the sex was convenient. And, okay, it was nice to wake up next to a warm body.

_But I just want to sleep in for a few extra hours._ Sanji sat up. "FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Make your own damn breakfast and let me sleep!" He was met with a shoe to his face. Sanji squinted at the brightness of the room and ducked as his other shoe flew towards him. "Seriously, Zoro. _What the hell_." Sanji rubbed at his eyes as they adjusted to the light and was finally able to make out Zoro standing in front of the open closet. "You're dressed."

"Sorry to disappoint. Now get up. Chopper called." Zoro threw a handful of random clothes towards Sanji. "Kohza's in the hospital and Vivi's not there."

"What? What happened?" Sanji threw off his sheets, trying his hardest to ignore the sudden shock of cold air. He looked at the pile of clothes Zoro had thrown onto the bed. "I have my slacks and jackets matched and hanging together. Yet somehow you still managed to choose the worst possible combination…"

"My priorities don't include making sure you're wearing matching shades of black." Zoro secured his swords at his side and walked out of the room.

"I'm surprised you even _know_ there're different shades of black." Sanji put on his clothes and pulled on his shoes as he rushed to catch up to Zoro, who was impatiently holding the elevator door open. "So? Does anyone know if Vivi's okay?"

"Chopper doesn't know any details. The Feds showed up and Kohza's being interrogated. I figured we should swing by Vivi's place before heading over to the hospital and see what's going on." Zoro watched as Sanji patted his pockets, fingers twitching. Most people would assume it was lack of nicotine, and in most cases they'd be right. But Sanji's twitching wasn't a sign of his addiction; Zoro knew it was Sanji worried.

He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and tossed them to Sanji.

Sanji stared. "Oh? Have I corrupted you into joining the ranks of us smokers?" He tapped the pack against his palm and pulled out a stick.

"I figured you're bitchy enough as it is _without_ withdrawals." Zoro pulled out a lighter.

Sanji grinned.  
Zoro smirked.

The elevator doors opened and the two stepped out. Smoker was waiting for them. "Hope you weren't planning on heading out of town."

"Is this gonna take long, Smoker? I've got other shit I need to do." Zoro could see Sanji tapping his foot, already impatient to leave.

"Feel free to do what you want, Roronoa. We're here to take the blonde in for questioning."

"The hell? On what grounds?" Sanji's head was pounding. _Fuuucking hangover. I don't understand how that fucking marimo bastard gets away with drinking all the time and never having to deal with the morning after._

"On the grounds of you matching the description for our lead suspect."

"_Matching the description_? You mean a blonde-haired blue-eyed male smoker wearing a suit? You're right. That's obviously a rare sight in a big American city." Sanji puffed out a cloud of smoke. "You've got one hell of a crap job if you're going around taking everyone who fits that description in for questioning."

Smoker made a small motion with his hand and the cops standing behind him rushed at Sanji. Zoro looked on in amusement as Sanji took them down with ease.

A smug grin found its way onto Smoker's face. "I bet the majority of those blonde-haired blue-eyed male smokers can't boast fancy footwork like that." Smoker opened the back door of his government issued SUV. "Easy or hard? You're coming with me regardless."

Sanji dropped his cigarette and crushed it under his heel, stepping in front of Zoro, who looked about ready to pounce. "Does this have anything to do with Kohza being in the hospital?"

Smoker stepped aside as Sanji approached him. "Well, I sure as hell didn't pick your name out of a hat."

Zoro was calm. "Is this Kohza's roundabout way of getting to _me_? I've already accommodated that paranoid fuck's concerns about my past and now he's accusing _Sanji_ of attacking him?" Maybe more pissed than calm, but his swords weren't drawn. It was an improvement.

Sanji was staring at him, the slightest hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. "And just why would going after _me_ get to you, marimo?"

Zoro's return gaze held a challenge. "Because Kohza knows I'd need to protect my woman, love-cook."

Smoker grabbed Sanji's arm and threw him into the car, slamming the door shut. "I've only been around you two twice and I'm already sick and tired of your juvenile playground flirting." He pulled open the driver side door and got in, giving Zoro a final judging look before shutting it and driving away.

"Well. Shit." Zoro stood on the sidewalk and glared at the two officers Sanji had beaten earlier as they piled into their own police car and followed after Smoker. _He could've at least left me his fucking car keys._

Zoro watched the police car drive down the street and looked back at Sanji's car, still parked in its spot. He stared at the car a moment longer and dug his phone out of his pocket. "Hey, Franky, how do I hotwire a car?"

**[** Zoro? Did not expect to hear that request from you. Is this about what's going on with Vivi? You in trouble, bro? **]**

"Probably to do with Vivi and... trouble? Not yet, no. I'm just improvising."

**[** Alright, well, first you've gotta get into the car and- **]**

Zoro pulled one of his swords loose, still sheathed, and slammed the hilt into a side window, the glass shattering onto the passenger-side seat. "Okay. I'm in."

**[** …okay then. I guess I _won't_ need to tell you how to pop the lock. How 'bout we take the next few steps a little less… hastily. **]**

Several minutes, one mangled dash, and an intensive GPS tutorial later, the engine finally rumbled to a start and Zoro was on his way.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

Sanji flattened his palms against the cool metal table, willing them to stop shaking. He hadn't been arrested. He had been_detained_. Sanji had no idea what the difference was. He was still being kept in a gloomy gray room with all of his belongings sitting in a tray elsewhere in the building. _I guess I should be grateful I'm not cuffed. Maybe_**_that's_**_the difference._

Sanji wasn't sure how long he'd been in the interrogation room. He wasn't even sure it _was_ an interrogation room. It had the tell-tale two-way mirror, heavy bolted table, and chairs as the only furnishings. But Sanji had been put in the room immediately after arriving at the station (the local FBI building was, apparently, not a convenient location) and had been left alone with no interrogator in sight.

It felt like hours had passed.

He stared at his hands. Sanji couldn't tell if the tremors were from lack of cigarettes, concern for Vivi, or a physical manifestation of just how fucking pissed he was getting. At least he had had the time to sober up.

Another countless number of minutes later and the heavy door at the far corner of the room finally groaned open. Smoker was lighting a cigar as he walked in. He silently leaned against the wall, choosing to stand rather than sit in the stiff metallic chair.

"Where were you around 10pm last night?" Sanji stared at Smoker, who tossed a pack of cigarettes and a lighter onto the table. "Answer the question."

Sanji slowly pulled out a stick, rolling it between his fingers. As much as he hated answering on command, Vivi was his priority. "I was at a soup kitchen until midnight and then I went out drinking. With witnesses. Are we done?"

Smoker flipped open the manila folder he had brought with him. "What time did you get home?"

"Fuck if I remember. It was after midnight. Which, in case you didn't notice, is well past 10pm."

"When was the last time you saw Vivi Nefertari?" Smoker placed a large photograph of a smiling Vivi on the table in front of Sanji. He hated dealing with interrogations. What he loved was the chase. Questioning witnesses and suspects was much too psychological and most of the _really_ bad guys were already hardened to even the worst of interrogation techniques.

Sanji looked at the photo before tilting his head to stare straight at Smoker. "She was asleep when I left for the soup kitchen at around four-thirty Christmas morning. That was the last time I had any contact with her."

"And this was at Robin Nico's house, correct?"

"Correct." Sanji's mind was in over-drive. He had already come to the conclusion that Vivi was missing and had replayed his entire day minute-by-minute. Sanji's Christmas had had a distinct and unforgiving lack of Vivi. Which meant she was out there. Somewhere. And Sanji was stuck in a police station. Completely useless. "I can write out an itinerary of my entire day, if you'd like. Except for after midnight. That's when things get a bit hazy." Sanji didn't break eye contact. "But keeping me here is a waste of time and I'm sure you realize that we could both be doing something much more productive."

"You're stuck here until we've at least checked on your alibi." Smoker puffed on his cigar in silence, still flipping through the file. "There were a group of you who stayed overnight. Was there a 'Nami' in that group?"

Sanji shook his head. "Nami left after the party the night before."

Smoker tossed another picture on the table. "And was that the last time you saw her?"

Sanji froze. His eyes narrowed. "What the hell happened to Nami?"

"Hit a soft spot, then?" Smoker's eyebrow had quirked up.

Sanji took a drag from his cigarette, focusing all his attention on the twirling smoke. Something happening to Vivi had always been a possibility. A possibility that Sanji had never actually believed would come to fruition, but a possibility nonetheless.

Something happening to Nami hadn't even been something he'd considered.

Sanji put a smile on his face and looked back at Smoker. "Soft spot? Why, both Nami and Vivi are the softest angels in existence! I wouldn't _dare_ say that one has a softer spot than the other." He took another puff on his cigarette and settled back into his chair.

Smoker, despite his disinterest in most cases, was good at his job. His eyes were steady as he looked into Sanji's face. The blue eyes had hardened. There was a clarity that hadn't been there earlier in the day. Smoker recognized the look. It was a look that meant Sanji was no longer interested in talking. _So, now… do I just keep pushing out of spite or do I let him go?_ Smoker stared at the file. Sanji's alibi had actually been established and cleared not long after he had been brought in. Half of the local officers were familiar with Sanji's soup kitchen set-up and had recognized him. The other half had at one point in their life been hit on by Sanji and refused to believe he was the perpetrator.

_But he's currently our only lead and the higher-ups want this case closed before it becomes an international issue._Smoker grit his teeth around the cigar. _Those old farts in Washington would care more about losing face on such a large and public scale than achieving justice._

Smoker's attention snapped back to the room as the heavy metal door slammed open.

"Sir! You're not allowed in there!"

Zoro peered into the room, ignoring the shouting officer attempting to haul him backwards in futility. He flashed a grin when he saw Sanji sitting behind a table in the center of the room. "I'm here to bail you out."

"Very knight in shining armor, jackass, but, one, I've yet to be arrested or charged with anything and, two, I'm not some fucking damsel in dis-" Sanji snapped his mouth shut, pursing his lips. He realized how hypocritical his words were when Nami and Vivi might be in need of saving.

Smoker pushed off the wall, muttering a gruff "we're done here, you're free to go," before meeting Zoro's eyes as he brushed past him on his way out the door. The green-haired youth's connection to Mihawk was still under scrutiny, but a kid causing a very public scene at a police station crawling with FBI agents in order to post a non-existent bail for his male lover, didn't exactly fit the profile of an international assassin-in-training.

Sanji decided not to question the turn of events and made his way through the station, stopping briefly to pick up his belongings, with Zoro close behind. He immediately recognized his car parked outside. "Why the hell is my engine still running? Did you actually leave the keys _in the ignition_?"

"I didn't have a key. And I left it running because it'd be a bitch to start up again."

"Then how did you…" Sanji looked a little closer at the car and realized the passenger-side window wasn't rolled down, as he'd initially thought, it was missing. "_My window!_"

"I didn't have a key," Zoro repeated.

Sanji threw him a dirty look. "You better believe you're fucking paying for all the damages."

"Who needs money when we've got friends like Franky and Usopp?" Zoro watched as Sanji slid into the passenger's seat. The blonde was borderline docile, not even putting up a fight. It was unnerving. Zoro climbed into the driver's seat. "I stopped by the hospital, but Tashigi was standing guard at Kohza's door." Zoro joined the flow of traffic. "But Chopper overheard some stuff and it seems Vivi was supposed to meet Nami last night, but some guy that Kohza insists was you showed up instead."

"Nami's missing too." Sanji fumbled for another cigarette. "**Neither** should've gone missing. I should've been paying more attention to Nami and _Vivi_ was supposed to be protected." What Sanji hated the most was the not knowing. Having a clearly defined enemy meant you could strategize, you could prepare.

Zoro had no idea where he was supposed to be driving to. He figured that, in the grand scheme of things it wasn't that big a deal. What mattered, right now, was Sanji's growing anger. "You think I shouldn't have left Vivi. Which is pretty much the truth. Her disappearance, or, kidnapping, I guess, is ultimately my fault for leaving her with Kohza."

Sanji looked at Zoro in disbelief. "I wasn't blaming shit on you. What _I think_ is that you shouldn't be fucking putting words in my mouth."

Zoro regretted his next words before he even said them, but that didn't stop him. "Like I could fit any words in your mouth with all the crap the women have already stuffed in there anyways."

The sudden silence was thick. He decided that he didn't exactly regret the words themselves, because _those_ he meant, he did regret the time and the place. He also hated the creeping insecurity that accompanied the absence of two of Sanji's favorite women. As though, with Nami and Vivi both missing, Sanji would suddenly realize that he had absolutely no reason to actually be with Zoro anymore. He would have no one to praise his good work.

The silence was drawn out for a few more moments before Sanji finally shattered it. "You're going to explain _exactly_ what the hell that was supposed to mean." He was completely unamused.

Right now, in the car with an already worked up Sanji, was not Zoro's ideal setting for this conversation. "It doesn't matter. It's not like I didn't already know you were their whimpering lap dog before we got involved. I already knew that you loved performing little tricks for them."

Sanji straightened up in his seat. "You had better **not** be implying that this… us… our _being involved_ was just me 'performing a trick' for the ladies. As if I'm incapable of having feelings of my own."

Zoro didn't say anything.

"Fuck. You." Sanji's voice was a low almost-growl. "I may have been the one to take the initiative in this 'relationship', but _I_wasn't the one who made it public. _Seriously_, when did I **ever** use my feelings for you to impress the ladies? Wouldn't falling in love with a guy be a bit counterproductive in that case?"

Zoro spared a sideways glance towards Sanji. "Love?" The tone of Zoro's voice was borderline mocking. The expression on his face was of incredulity.  
But his heart was in overdrive.

Sanji returned the look with one of slight disdain. "I said '_wouldn't it be_'. That there is a hypothetical situation."

"Hypotheses are made to be tested." Zoro had meant it to come out as an obviously cheesy pick-up line. But somewhere in the transition from thought to words it had turned into an actual and earnest suggestion.

Sanji wanted to laugh. He wanted to kick something or someone and he wanted Vivi and Nami to be somewhere safe, somewhere known, so he could focus on This Thing with Zoro. "I don't blame you for what happened to Vivi."

"So you've already said."

"And maybe Vivi would've been safe if it were you on watch instead of Kohza-"

"There's no 'maybe' about it. I wouldn't have failed."

"-but then, if you _had_ refused to leave Vivi's side, this thing with us would never have developed into anything more than a random one-night stand. And, at this point…I'm not exactly regretting the way things have turned out." Once again, Sanji found himself marveling at his seeming inability to stem the flow of emotional verbal vomit when in front of Zoro. Some people would insist that such candid sharing of feelings was a blessing in a relationship. Sanji just found it to be really fucking annoying. He looked out the window and noticed that they had pulled over. "Where the hell are we, fungus fuzz? This looks an awful lot like a dirt road."

"Just shut the fuck up, target-brow." Zoro leaned over the center console dividing their two seats and kissed Sanji. Hard.

Sanji responded instantly. It was almost second-nature. He pulled away just far enough to say, "Of course, I reserve the right to take back all of the shit I just said if we don't find Nami and Vivi in perfect condition. And **soon**."

Zoro pulled him back in. Tongue against tongue. Teeth grazing skin. Lips caressing lips. "Just so you know. I already decided that, even if you _were_ just in it to impress the girls, I wasn't going to give you up."

Zoro's mouth trailed along the ridge of Sanji's collar bone.  
Sanji's lips were at Zoro's ear.  
"Like you'd have any fucking choice in the matter."

"As long as I have the choice to fuck, it doesn't matter," Zoro smirked.

"Then your number one priority should be finding our dear Nami and Vivi because there'll be no fucking until my eyes have once more seen their lovely faces unmarred."

Zoro's hand cupped Sanji's face, forcing the blonde to look at him. "You're not the only one that's worried about them. Just because I think you're really damn obnoxious anytime you're around them, doesn't mean I wish they were out of the picture."

Sanji met his eyes. "I know." He looked past Zoro's shoulder. "Seriously, though? I didn't think we had dirt roads in the city. Are we even still in San Francisco?"

Zoro looked around. "You never actually told me where the hell we were going. So, I just drove."

Sanji kicked his door open. "Somehow, I highly doubt giving you a destination would have made much of a difference in where we ended up. Get out. I'm driving."


	15. Chapter 15

OH MAN OH BOY. I am terrible, I know. Merry Christmas~! Happy Holidays~! I hope you are all enjoying this winter and that you folks living on the U.S. east coast are safe and have not been terribly bothered by the storm (for those who are affected, that is). If it helps you any, I'd love to take some of that snow storm over here in California where it's bright and sunny and _**NOT AT ALL WINTER APPARENTLY**_.

**Word Count:**2,913 (short, but still longer than some other chapters?)  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece = Eiichiro Oda =/= me.  
**  
****Notes:** I'm too lazy to add a footnote so: that line in French? It means "it's not a problem, sir". Or something like that. I've only taken a single semester of French so this is pretty much the only time I intend to use more than two consecutive words of the language in this story.

* * *

Robin had been glued to her phone even before Sanji and Zoro had arrived. Zoro had no doubts that the remaining female in their snug group of friends was working her connections. Franky was out and about, doing much of the same.

So far, nothing had come up.

Zoro stared up at the ceiling from his spot on one of Robin's fancy rugs. He had no idea where Sanji had disappeared to after they had arrived at their friend's home. He couldn't even quite recall whether or not the blonde had gotten out of the car in the first place. Luffy was sitting behind an open laptop with a look on his face that suggested he was having problems with whatever it was he was trying to do. Zoro hadn't yet seen Chopper or Usopp, but assumed that they too would arrive at some point.

Zoro pushed himself off the floor and slipped out into the small yard. Robin and Franky's house sat atop one of the steep streets the city was known for, providing an open view over buildings and ocean. He sat at the edge of the yard, looking out. _It doesn't hold shit against the view from the cook's apartment, but it'll do._ Eyes shut and breathing deep, Zoro cleared his mind. The issue with Sanji had kept him preoccupied for much of the day. But now it was, for the most part, settled. Zoro needed to refocus.

Minutes passed as he simply listened to the rhythmic laughing coming from a house nearby as it mixed with the distant chatter of happy holiday tourists. The chilled winter air prickled his skin and he could just catch the scent of salty ocean over the exhaust of passing cars.

The current problem was finding Vivi and Nami.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sanji popped open his best bottle of wine. It was a cabernet sauvignon from the renowned Napa Valley just a couple hours away. He had been saving it for a night of perfect and sensual romance filled with roses, passion, and a curvy woman. But Zoro had rendered a lifetime of romantic plans useless and all Sanji really wanted right now was a drink.

He had only been at Robin and Franky's for a few minutes before he had begun to feel restless. Sanji had never been one for patience, which is why he had been slightly annoyed by the complete ease with which Zoro had laid down and taken a nap once they had arrived. Sanji had a feeling that Luffy's unwavering confidence that everything would turn out for the best was a natural relaxant for much of Zoro's nonchalance. And Luffy's confidence wasn't because of some idealistic belief in fate or destiny. It was a belief that everything would turn out for the best because the boy wouldn't let it turn out any other way.

_Luffy and Zoro may have the uncanny ability to end up exactly where they need to be despite heading in the opposite direction, but…_ Sanji stared at the wine in his cup. Simply _waiting_ for something to happen would forever be associated with the helplessness of being stranded. The helplessness of waiting for a ship to appear on the horizon.

Sanji sat at his desk, checking once again for any response to the messages that he too had sent out. _Still nothing._

His gaze swept over the room, lingering on his kitchen. There was a coffee stained cup and a nearly untouched bowl of cereal sitting on the counter- Zoro's breakfast forgotten immediately after he had received the troubling call earlier that morning. Sanji's eyebrow twitched. Followed by his finger. When he had first been learning how to cook, a younger Sanji that couldn't care less about wasting food had often turned to mindless cooking as a form of comfort. After he had developed his "Do Not Waste" mantra, Sanji had found comfort in the monotony of dishwashing. And then cleaning in general. Logically, he knew that there wasn't much he could do with his current state of no information, but the thought of doing anything else, even cleaning, brought on a bout of guilt. As though he weren't trying hard enough.

Sanji spun himself in his chair towards his desk, knocking over his paper bin in the process. He glared down at the sheets of paper and envelopes as he accepted the fact that cleaning would be an immediate part of his future. "I don't even know why I have a fucking recycling bin just for paper. I'm a fucking chef. I don't have enough paper in this apartment to even_justify_ having a damn paper bin." Sanji voiced his lie out loud. He knew exactly where the bin had come from: another ex.

He sat himself on his floor, cross-legged, and reminisced about this particular lady-friend as he set about picking up the scattered mess. She had been an interior designer and Sanji had given her free reign of his house. Except, of course, the kitchen. There hadn't been much for her to do since much of Sanji's apartment had come pre-professionally-decorated. It was one of the reasons he had chosen this particular complex. Regardless, his interior designer ex—tall with dark mocha skin, wavy black hair, and legs Sanji had spent much of his life dreaming of—had left an assortment of décor that he had hadn't touched. _Like a fucking recycling bin that's __**just for paper**__._

Sanji tried to remember what sex with her had been like. He knew that it had been great. But the seemingly endless mess (with letters and envelopes dating up to three years back) and a wordless thought itching at the back of his mind put a damper on his recollections. As images of hard muscle and scarred torso began to leak between the cracks of Sanji's mind, everything came to a full stop.

For an eternity of a second Sanji did nothing but stare at a stiff envelope that had been hidden under an old newspaper. On the front, in elegant scripted lettering, it was addressed to "The Prince".

_Benefits of human trade._

_Legalizing slavery._

Suddenly, "charity" auction had a whole new meaning. Sanji tore the envelope open with little care for the obviously expensive invitation. His mind rapidly considered the implication of his suspicions were they right while simultaneously trying to convince himself that he was simply stretching for something relevant. Regardless of how absurd.

The card was sparse. The same elegant script announced that _{You are hereby cordially invited to attend the 50th anniversary of our annual charity auction.}_Accompanied only by a simple ten-digit RSVP number.

"Who in the fucking world gives out an invitation without including a date or location?" Sanji rifled through the mess that had just recently come into existence on his desk, looking for his phone. _Unless of course it's something so craptastic and obscene. Like a human-fucking-auction._ He straightened up, triumphant as he found it under a pack of cigarettes.

Sanji's lips gripped the stick of his favored smoke as he dialed the ten-digit number on the card. His fingers held his phone steady against his ear as he listened to the muffled ringing on the other line. Every bit of Sanji relaxed as clear feminine tones chimed out a rehearsed:

**[** You've reached the RSVP line for our annual charity auction. Are you calling to confirm or reject? **]**

"Confirm."

**[** Thank you, sir. We'll send a car before the event. **]**

"Just a minute, Miss. I couldn't possibly let someone with as lovely a voice as yours to hang-up without first getting your name." Sanji's voice had lowered with an edge of flirtation. "And without giving my own name, at the least."

**[** Have a good day, sir. **]**

"I think it'd be a little difficult to send a car to come and get me and to even log my RSVP without knowing my name and information. I'd also hate to find out that I had missed my ride because I didn't know when it was coming." Sanji tapped the end of his cigarette on his ash tray, watching the buildup of ash collapse. There was no hesitation before she replied.

**[** I assure you, _ce n'est pas un problème, Monsieur_. **]**

Sanji grinned despite the familiar click signaling the end of the call. Women speaking French had always been an especially effective turn on for him. It wasn't even French women, but the romance of the language itself.

His pulled out his favorite wine glass, no longer unhappy with the lack of occasion for cracking open his long-saved bottle. All the anxiety, impatience, and restlessness he had felt just minutes ago were all gone. Sanji settled into the much more familiar territory of confidence. Despite the fact that he still didn't have any solid reason to believe that the auction was in any way connected to Vivi and Nami's disappearance, he was convinced it was. _Even if those idiots that handed me the invitation actually believed I was some sort of obscure French royalty at the time, there's no way they could still possibly believe that._

The phone call hadn't been overtly informative, and, althoug the fact that the woman had obviously known who he was had been a slight surprise, what Sanji found the most interesting was that she had known who he was despite the fact that he had spoken in English. And even more so that _she_ had been the one to initiate that use of English. It meant that either she had been sloppy, or whoever it was that was behind this whole "charity auction" knew Sanji's identity beyond that of "The Prince".

_And none of this necessarily has anything to do with the missing girls, but if they know who __**I **__am and, as that no doubt darling lady implied, also know where I live, then there's a good chance they know that I'm friends with Vivi._ And with the way the men had acted when Sanji had introduced himself as a prince, their obsession with the chance of him being royalty, Sanji didn't think it too farfetched to believe that perhaps they had uncovered the truth of his status as a mere American citizen, only to realize they had a true princess within their sight.

Sanji put down his empty wine glass and headed for the shower. As much as the thought that Vivi (and somehow Nami as well) being taken was collateral damage from Sanji's blatant lie was infuriating, there was little he could do until the car came to pick him up. He no longer felt that need to rush.

He was at ease. It twinged on his nerves a bit, knowing that this was probably how Luffy and Zoro felt nearly all the time. But Sanji could understand. Now that he had a lead he was confident in, there was no reason to panic. Sanji was a fighter. He knew perfectly well how much nerves could sabotage even the most disciplined of fighters.

_That marimo bastard probably doesn't even have nerves._ Sanji knew he would never admit it to the man himself, but Zoro's training discipline was something he admired. Sanji was beginning to realize that a lot of Zoro's characteristics and habits were the object of his secret admiration.

To a degree.

Sanji stepped under the hot spray of his luxurious shower and let the heat wash over him, hoping the running water would take his irritation down the drain with it. Because even Sanji couldn't deny that thoughts of the green-haired swordsman were as stubborn, intrusive, irritating, and irresistible as the man himself.

He was certain that nothing would distract him from finding his friends alive and well, but every time he fantasized about the celebration that would follow the retrieval of their friends, he found that it was much less about how grateful Nami and Vivi would be towards their darling savior and all the different ways he'd like to be thanked and instead much more about Zoro.

He hated that, somehow, the desire to pursue things with the marimo was not an insignificant source of motivation for finding the girls.

Sanji shut off the shower and toweled off, standing in front of his closet. He needed to refocus.  
He also needed to figure out which suit would be the least obstructive in his foreseeable ass-kicking future.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_I wonder if I should just start __**looking**__._

Zoro had managed to make it onto the roof and now had an even better view of the city's landscape. He had come to realize just how true what Sanji had told Smoker when they had been confronted earlier that day: There was an inordinate amount of people who fit Sanji's general description. In the neighborhood surrounding Robin and Franky's place alone he had seen a number of suited-up blonde-haired males fitting Sanji's body type. He hadn't even tried to check if the color of their eyes matched as well because of his distant perch. Nevertheless, he didn't doubt that many fit Kohza's physical description spot on. The only issue now was which of the many could fight with a similar style as Sanji's.

And Zoro was beginning to think that attacking every Sanji-looking guy to determine their fighting ability would be a more efficient use of time.

Zoro had just come to the decision that simply walking down the street taking swings at random men wasn't the worst way to spend his day when his attention was drawn back to the house below him and the sounds of a commotion within.

"Zoro." The front door was pushed open and Robin's deceptively loud voice drifted up towards him.

"Look up." Zoro called back, choosing not to move until given a reason.

Robin turned to look up at him as Luffy made his way to her side, looking slightly triumphant. "I found Nami's laptop!" The younger boy grinned proudly in his direction.

Zoro moved towards the edge of the roof and dropped himself onto the lower roof level before finally dropping to the grass below. "Where'd you find it? The bitch was kind of anal about her gadgets."

"I found it in the house." Luffy stated matter-of-factly.

Zoro stared at him. "Are you talking about the laptop you've been using since I got here?"  
br / Robin gave a soft amused smile. "It seems that Luffy has spent the better part of the day trying to get into Nami's laptop for one reason or another. Usopp recognized the hardware and is currently trying to see if he can find a way in. Unfortunately, as you can imagine because of the nature of her job, she has a tendency to keep her gadgets quite securely locked."

Zoro glanced at the window and could see the glow of the screen reflected on Usopp's face as he hunched over the keyboard. It seemed as though Chopper had yet to arrive. It wasn't the only absence he was aware of. "Hey, have any of you seen that damn cook as of late?"

Robin's eyebrow quirked up. "You didn't notice him leave almost immediately after you arrived?"

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Who the hell has the time to keep an eye on that idiot?"

Before Robin could reply with a comment about how much time Zoro had been keeping his eyes on Sanji in the past couple of weeks, the front door swung open once again as Usopp nudged his way through, holding the laptop. "I have no idea how to crack this thing so I'm going to take it over to Franky. Is he still over at the docks?"

Their raven-haired friend nodded.

Zoro shifted the swords on his hips. "I'll come with you. I wouldn't put it past that conniving woman to do something that pissed someone off so much that they would be willing to take her."

Robin appeared with her purse. Zoro hadn't even seen her go back into the house. "Well, our dear Nami does have a habit of… _taking advantage_ of a person's financial weaknesses. Hopefully there will be a clue on her hard drive." There was a twinkle in Robin's eye. In their years of friendship, Zoro had come to learn just how much Robin loved solving mysteries. He assumed it had to do with her love for excavating ruins. He didn't think he'd ever understand it.

"Well," Zoro looked at the street,, "That eye brow freak left me without a car so I hope someone else was planning on driving."

Usopp let out a loud snort. "It's okay man, I don't think I'll live to see the day when you're our first choice driver."

Even Robin let out a little chuckle. "I find it curious that you make such comments despite Sanji's insistence on calling you out every single time. Though perhaps "directionally-challenged-idiot" is just another term of endearment for the two of you?"

"Goddammit. Sometimes you guys are just as bad as he is." But he added, as an afterthought, "Though, fuck yeah, our arguments are just foreplay. So next time you see that blonde dumb-ass picking a fight with me, know that it's just because he wants some." Zoro turned and walked towards the garage, where Luffy had been sitting, perched on Robin's car.

Teasing Sanji was so much more effective, and thus satisfying, when the girls were there to watch. He wanted to find Nami and Vivi as soon as possible.


	16. Chapter 16

Exciting Things Happening in My Life Include (but are not limited to):  
Graduating from University in less than a month.  
Moving to Japan not long after for the next 1-5 years (Placement as of yet unknown)

**Rating:** T  
**Word Count:**2,893  
**Pairing:** Zoro x Sanji  
**Disclaimer:** One Piece = Eiichiro Oda =/= me.  
**  
****Notes:**That line in french means 'But of course!' I have made a conscious effort to not have all of Sanji's exclamations be in the little French I know, but well, am occasionally failing.

* * *

Sanji hadn't been surprised when he had found two suited-up men standing at his door.  
He hadn't been surprised when they had refused to answer his inquiries regarding their destination.  
He also hadn't been surprised when they'd pulled out guns after he had refused to take a single step until the men had divulged some information regarding the auction.  
Sanji hadn't been surprised. But he _had _been disappointed.

Sanji set his foot back down and stepped over the beaten and unconscious body now sprawled on the floor in front of him. He locked eyes with the remaining suit-clad goon a few feet away sitting on the floor with his back pressed to the wall, chest heaving with each breath. Sanji squatted in front of the man and took a moment to blow a decent-sized cloud of smoke his would-be kidnapper's face. The man coughed, clutching at his sides in pain before taking a long look down the dimly lit hallway of Sanji's apartment complex.

Sanji leaned forward and scowled. "You know, I was looking forward to this. For the chance to meet my 'imposter'." He crushed his cigarette on the floor. "_Instead_," Sanji stood up and dusted himself off, "they send two completely incompetent fucks to pick me up." He jabbed the elevator's call button and waited for the familiar ding of the lift's arrival. Sanji looked back at the broken man on the floor. "The _fuck _are you waiting for? Aren't you supposed to be chauffeuring me to that bullshit charity auction?" He stepped into the elevator and pushed the close door button. "Don't forget to grab your friend on the way to the stairs."

**XXXXXXXX**

Zoro stared up at the wooden planks of the Franky House ceiling. He had snapped awake just a few minutes before, hands gripping his swords and muscles tensed to react, before relaxing at the sight of Franky standing by the lit screen of Nami's laptop. His bulky friend had a slight frown on his face, arms crossed and a steaming mug of (what smelled like) coffee clutched in one hand. Zoro hadn't bothered to get up and ask Franky about his progress with Nami's laptop; he knew that his friend would inform him if and when anything of interest was found.

Usopp, apparently, did not.  
"Hey, Franky, have you found anything yet?"

Zoro let out a low sigh before slipping out of the confines of the top bank he had hidden himself away in and stretched his arms above his head as he strolled out into the open expanse of the barely lit Franky House work room. Usopp was perched on a stool peering at the glowing screen over Franky's shoulder. They both glanced up at Zoro as he let out a loud yawn.

"What time is it?"

Franky's eyes flicked back to the screen, "nearly three in the morning." The corners of his mouth quirked up as he glimpsed Zoro rolling his shoulders back before rubbing at his neck. "You know, as a man, I understand the call of the seas and the attraction of sleeping in the bunks of a newly built ship, what with the smell of freshly cut lumber, but did you really have to choose the one bunk that didn't have the bedding installed yet?"

Zoro made his way over to the kitchen area and poured a cup of the dark bitter coffee for himself. "It's really not that much different from camping. A flat surface is a flat surface." Zoro proceeded to settle himself on the floor, back against the wall. Franky honestly couldn't tell whether Zoro was stubbornly emphasizing his point or if the swordsman simply couldn't be bothered to pull up his own chair.

"What's Nami doing with all these encrypted files on her laptop anyways?" Franky's attention turned back to the screen, nearly poking his cheek on Usopp's nose as his curious friend inched closer, chin nearly resting on Franky's shoulder.

"I have no idea, bro. But the fact that it's file-system level encryption and not full disk encryption means we've got to deal with the possibility of multiple recovery encryption keys instead of just the one." Franky absentmindedly rubbed at his chin. "Which also means a cold boot attack won't be particularly helpful…"

Usopp snaked an arm around Franky to reach the mousepad and clicked through the various files and folders open on the screen. "At first I thought Nami was just extremely thorough in protecting some of her clients' files, but a lot of the encrypted data is behind a completely different partition."

Zoro narrowed his eyes at them from where he sat. "I may not understand exactly what the hell you guys are talking about, but it sounds an awful lot like this whole thing could just be the fallout from Nami doing stupid shit with other people's money… again."

"It doesn't matter." Franky and Usopp swiveled their heads towards a hammock hanging forgotten in a darkened corner of the room. Zoro didn't bother. He had noticed Luffy's still form in the mesh of ropes when he had first entered the room. "What matters is that Nami and Vivi could need our help." Luffy's voice wasn't particularly loud or aggressive, but it still rang out firm and steady. Even with the ever present straw hat covering his face.

"You just don't want to lose out on all the free buffets Vivi funds." Luffy rolled out of the hammock and onto the floor, a large smile breaking out on his face as he looked at Zoro.

"Do you think she'll throw a Glad-You-Saved-Us! party when we find them?" Usopp joined in.

"Hey, Zoro, tell Sanji to start cooking now, so the party can start as soon as we pick up Nami and Vivi."

"Luffy, you do realize they're missing, right? It's not like we're just waiting for them to finish shopping so we can 'pick them up' at the mall… or something."

Zoro let the sound of Usopp and Luffy's relaxed conversation wash over him. It was completely out of place given just how serious the circumstances were, but simply listening to the steady and familiar vocal tones was its own odd, yet effective, form of meditation.

Until Franky's voice cut through with a clear:  
"Speaking of Sanji, what's he up to? It's just, I noticed he wasn't with you guys when you first brought the laptop over and hasn't shown up since."

Zoro cracked his eyes open at the silence that followed. His three friends were all looking at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes before shutting them once more. "I'm not his fucking babysitter."

They all grinned at Zoro knowingly and turned back to once again busy themselves with endless waiting and not-quite sleep.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

As soon as the (stereotypically nondescript) black sedan had turned towards the Bay Bridge, Sanji had been sure that he was being taken out of the city. So he had been pleasantly surprised when his bruised chauffeurs had gotten off at the exit for Treasure Island before reaching the other side of the bay.

It took Sanji another moment to make the connection from Treasure Island to CP9 Studios and ultimately to "Vivi." He looked out the window and waited a minute to confirm that they were indeed heading in the direction of the studio. Sanji tugged on his seatbelt until it clicked and let it retract to lock tight against his torso. Sanji had checked how much of his mobility would be restricted when he had first slid into the car. Luckily, the backseat was just roomy enough that, at the right angle, Sanji could slip both legs between the two front seats with relatively little restriction. Sanji checked the windows once more and saw that they had almost reached the particular tight curve of road he had been waiting for. Just as Goon no.1 (currently driving) began to lift his foot from the gas pedal to ease their way around the curve, Sanji reached forward, unbuckling the seatbelts of the two men in front of him, before thrusting his legs between the seats and slamming them down on the man's knee, forcing his foot back against the pedal with a surprised shout. Sanji fought his reflex to tense and brace himself against the door and, instead, willed his limbs limp to minimize any injuries as the car flew off the road and slammed into the solid wall of a nearby warehouse.

Sanji slowly opened his eyes and assessed the resulting damage.  
He turned his head, curled his fingers, and wiggled his toes. _Alright. Not paralyzed. Good sign._He unbuckled his own seatbelt and carefully pulled his legs back from between the seats. Sanji reached over to the door, released the lock, and tried to push it open.

It didn't move.

He gave it another shove before going to the other door and failing to open it as well. Sanji turned back to the front cab (glaring at the lit child safety lock indicator on the dash) and pulled the passenger seat lever, giving it room to recline all the way back. Sanji clambered over Goon no.2, who let out a pained moan as Sanji's knee pressed on his stomach (_Not dead, then._) and tried the passenger-side door. It creaked open.

Sanji stepped out of the car and quickly dusted himself off, noting with smug satisfaction that he had gotten away virtually unharmed. He stuck his head back into the car to look at the two bloodied (but breathing) men inside. "The ride was lovely, but I think I'll walk from here." He flashed them a smile. "I'll also be taking your phones, thanks _so_much." Sanji leaned in a bit closer. "Also, I recommend that you make a hospital visit your first priority. Because," his voice lowered an octave, "if I see either of you two again, I will shove my foot so far down your throat you'll be shitting shoes in the morning." They shrunk into their seats, shakily nodding their heads to show understanding.

Sanji shut the door and did a few quick stretches before getting his bearing (_good thing I'm not that ugly marimo, otherwise I'd be fucked_) and sprinting off in the direction which he remembered the studio to be.

"Don't worry Namiii~ and Viiiivii~ Your Prince Charming is on his way!"

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

The sun still wasn't shining the second time Zoro snapped awake. He was still on the floor of the work room, but this time it was the snap of Robin's heels against the floor that had roused him.

"Good morning, Zoro. Glad you're awake. It's currently half past four and Usopp and Franky should be back with breakfast soon enough." Robin sat herself at one of the work desks where she began flipping through a folder she had been carrying.

Luffy popped out from under one of the sturdy wooden tables in the room clutching a backpack and added "And then we're going to go and get Nami, Vivi, and Sanji so they won't be late for the party."

Zoro stretched his jaw with a large yawn and raised his eyebrow at Luffy. "Would this be the Yay-We're-Not-Dead party? Because, we might need to change the name if they can't make it."

"_Ac_tually, it was 'Glad-You-Saved-Us'." Usopp called from the other side of the room, arms loaded with steaming IHOP bags and closely followed by Franky. "Though, I guess your point still stands. 'Glad-You-_Tried_-To-Save-Us' doesn't quite have that same congratulatory ring to it."

They set the food down on the table and Zoro's stomach gave an impatient rumble at the first smell of bacon. "I assume someone found something? We have some idea of their whereabouts?"

"Yep!" Franky strolled over to Robin and gave her a proud kiss. "Robin found Nami's encryption keys in a case hidden in Sanji's apartment."

Robin smiled at Zoro and said, "It seems Nami was looking into the finances of the studio in charge of the movie Vivi agreed to do a cameo in and some of the numbers didn't add up. There was _a lot _more money allocated to this movie than there should have been, even if the cast were to be completely made up of A-list Hollywood stars, this budget would still be outrageous." She turned back to the papers in her hand. "Turns out, Nami was able to trace a majority of the larger deposits back to an account based in Alabasta. Specifically, a shell corporation with strong connections to Baroque Works."

Zoro dragged one of the work stools over to the table and sat down in front of the food. "So, what… the whole movie deal was a plot to kidnap Vivi, but Nami got too close and they took her too?" Zoro shoveled a forkful of bacon and eggs into his mouth. There was something he had missed and he could feel it nagging in a corner of his mind.

Robin put down the folder and frowned. "That seems to be the working theory. She obviously realized she had found _something_ of importance, which is probably why she hid her keys at Sanji's, but CP9 studios hadn't actually done anything _wrong_so bringing it to the attention of the authorities would only have alerted them to her… less than legal procurement of private information."

Luffy furrowed his brows and swallowed a fruit-laden pancake. "If she was in trouble, why didn't she tell **us**?"

Robin gave him a sad smile. "Nami's past didn't really lend itself in teaching her how to trust people. Sanji's one of her closest friends and I doubt he even knew she was stashing things in his apartment."

Zoro abruptly stopped mid-bite and put his fork back on his plate. "Sanji. Earlier, Luffy, you said that we had to get Nami, Vivi, _and Sanji_. Did that idiot cook get himself nabbed as well?"

"Well, no one's seen him since yesterday, we haven't been able to get a hold of him on his phone, and no one is at his apartment. _However_," Robin poured herself a cup of grapefruit juice before finishing, "there was an oddly uninformative charity auction invitation lying open on his desk that had the word 'charity' scratched out and replaced with 'human'. So, either Sanji was expressing his political sentiments or there's another facet to this whole ordeal that he's managed to uncover."

Zoro shook his head and resumed eating. "Y'know, my life used to have some semblance of **normal**."

Usopp snorted. "Oh, you must be using the _archaic _definition of 'normal'. The one that includes being a swordsman in the twenty-first century and battling a mercenary assassin."

Zoro pushed away his empty styrofoam container and grinned at Usopp. "Well, it had a lot less foreign royalty, human trafficking, and shadowy organizations." He ignored the way his subconscious finished the list with _leggy blondes and ocean-eyed cooks_. Instead, he went with, "I bet that fucking dumb-ass rushed off on his white horse and deliberately didn't call for backup."

Franky clapped a hand on Zoro's back. "It's alright, bro, I'm sure Sanji can take care of himself well enough until we get there. He's a tough one." He flashed his white teeth and winked.

Zoro was afraid he'd go blind. "I'm not worried about the damn cook getting hurt. I'm worried the damn cook is going to actually find the girls and get them back to safety before we have a chance to get there." Everyone turned to him with confusion in their eyes. "Can you **imagine **the cloud of smug that'll be surrounding the guy if he succeeds? I'd rather NOT have to deal with his internationally renowned ability to gloat."

Usopp stroked his chin in mock contemplation. "You know, I think I might just agree with you. Unless, of course, I'm expected to take part in the Not Letting Sanji Save The Girls By Himself. I think I should stay here and start setting up for the party."

A loud rendition of Beethoven's Fifth interrupted Zoro's almost response. They all turned to look at Robin as she put her phone on speaker.

**[** Robin, my love~! I knew you'd pick up on the first ring. **]**

"Sanji? Are you alright?"

**[** _Mais bien sûr_! Actually, I've _practically_ got the gorgeous Nami and Vivi here with me, but I think I'll be needing a… lift. **]**

Zoro wouldn't admit that he felt relieved and decided to fake a disappointed groan instead. Robin ignored him. "And 'here' being Treasure Island, I presume?"

**[** Oh~ _of course_ I should've known that you'd have figured that out yourself, being the delightfully clever lady that you are, but you might want to use a boat to get here. The main roads are a tad, um, _inconvenient_ at the moment. **]**  
They could hear muffled shouting and footsteps in the background of the call.  
**[** Right! It seems I have a few guests to attend to, but _do_ be careful. **]**  
The shouting had gotten louder.  
**[** And make sure you don't let go of the marimo's hand or else we'll be having to rescue him too. **]**  
The line immediately went dead.

Robin placed a soft hand on Zoro's arm. "How sweet. It sounds like he misses you." Zoro stood up and grabbed his boots.

Franky reached for his own phone. "Well then, I guess I'll call Brook."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter****Rating:** T  
**Word****Count: **2,099

**AN:**Japan life & new job is finally settling down into something stable.  
Ended up having to re-read this fic and some old chapters of One Piece to get back into the proper state of mind. Once again, I blame BBC!Sherlock.

BUT! More regular updating from now on.

* * *

Sanji slipped his cell phone back into his pocket and turned his head towards the sound of heavy boots thudding on the metallic stairs leading up to the narrow passage he had found himself in after climbing in from the unguarded second story window. Looking over the steel railing and out onto the main floor of the warehouse-turned-film studio, Sanji estimated that it was a good twenty feet to the solid concrete floor below.

"Established visual with the intruder! Second floor, interior balcony."

Sanji turned away from the railing and faced the men who had appeared at the top of the stairs, hefting guns at the end of the passage. He stretched his arms above him and rolled his head side to side. He could hear a new set of footsteps behind him. Sanji flashed the approaching men a smug smirk and vaulted himself over the balcony railing behind him without a moment's hesitation.

_Knees__bent.__Arms__tucked.__Roll. _Sanji hit the ground hard, wincing at the twinge of pain in his ankle, but was immediately up and running towards a lit hallway he had caught sight of. The heavy clanging of heavy boots followed above him. Sanji could hear the men cursing and shouting at each other as they ran.

"Intruder is heading towards the captives. Send reinforcements."

The voices were much closer this time; the men had reached the foot of the stairs before Sanji. The cook barreled into them before they could properly aim their guns. Sanji reached down and grabbed their walkie-talkies. He grinned down at them. "'Heading towards the captives,' huh? Good to know."

Sanji continued towards the hallway he had spotted earlier, but immediately changed trajectory as he heard muffled shouting coming from a just past it.

"Get AWAY from my face!"  
"Could I _please _have my clothes back?"

Sanji sprinted towards the door as he recognized both voices.

"Stop it! Ow! What the _hell _are you trying to do? Keep your fucking hands off of me!"

This time an unfamiliar voice chimed in, offended. "_Pourquoi?_Are you saying there's something wrong with my technique? Now, hold STILL."

Sanji didn't bother checking whether the door was locked and aimed the heavy heel of his foot at the weak area beneath the doorknob. The weak wooden door splintered open and Sanji found himself faced with the two girls and a tall skinny man whose face was caked with make-up. Everyone in the room froze and Sanji took in the scene before him. Vivi had her hands wrapped around the ridiculous looking man who in turn had Nami pressed flat against a table. "What _the __hell _do you think you're doing you ugly fucker?" The moment the words left Sanji's mouth everyone snapped back into motion.

Bon Clay hopped off the table and gave twirling bow, ignoring Nami rolling off the table to kneel on the floor behind him. "Oooohh~ if it isn't _Sanji_," he sneered.

"If you hurt either of my two ladies…" Sanji made eye contact with Vivi and Nami, whose faces were powder white, eyes elaborately lined with dark swirls, and their lips and cheeks a bright pink and red. Sanji blinked and snarled out a "What THE HELL did you do to their precious faces?"

Bon Clay scoffed, "you know, you should try using a bit of blush, maybe some bronzer. Take care of that pasty skin." He pranced around Sanji who had edged away from the door and closer to the girls. "Having to disguise myself as you was perhaps the dullest costume work I've ever had to do." Bon Clay gave a dramatic shudder, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead. "The uglification necessary to pass my gorgeous bone structure off as yours still gives me nightmares."

Sanji grimaced. "Are you serious? Kohza mistook this freak of a man for me?" Sanji glanced at Vivi, "we've got really good laser eye surgery here in the states. We can set him up with an appointment tomorrow if you'd like?"

The young princess smiled up with him and let out a whispered, "Sanji, thank you for coming." She reached up and grabbed her friend's hand and he helped her up from the floor, Nami following suit soon after.

There was a loud crashing of metal and all three quickly turned towards the entrance with the now broken door. Bon Clay had pulled shut a gate of criss-crossed metal that Sanji hadn't noticed earlier. The eccentric man gave a little wave and said, "Lovely reunion, but I've really got to prepare for the show. Try not to smudge your make-up before then! Tah-tah~" Sanji slammed himself into the gate, which rattled and shook, but showed no signs of giving.

"Well, shit."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

There was a soft splash as Zoro slipped into the water. He didn't wait for Usopp to jump in after him before he began pulling the kayak out of the water and onto the rocky shore.

Usopp stood up on wobbly legs and tripped out of the boat, teeth chattering. "I th-th-thought-t-t th-that B-b-rook had-d-d ac-ctual b-b-boat-t-ts with a c-c-cab-b-in and-d-d heat-t-t."

Robin, wrapped in a warm jacket and high boots, stepped out of the kayak she and Franky had taken. Franky offered her a hand to help her onto a rock jutting out over the water as she turned to look at Usopp and said, "Brook's other available vessels wouldn't have been very subtle; either because of the sound of engines or the visibility of sails."

When all the kayaks had been safely pulled ashore and stashed a safe distance from the water, the group of friends made their way onto level ground and gathered in the shadow of a nearby building.

Luffy zipped up his hoodie, dark and warm, before complaining loudly, "Are we there yet?"

Usopp, wearing a matching hoodie, met Luffy's complaint with a smack to the head. "Didn't you notice that we're on land now?"

Luffy frowned at Usopp. "Yeah, but where're Sanji, Nami, and Vivi?"

Both turned at the soft rustle of clothing as Robin pulled off her black leather gloves and walked towards the closest street, dimly lit by flickering street lamps. "If memory serves…" she turned back to look at the tallest member of their group. "Brook, did we manage to land near the north-east shore of the island as intended?"

"Oh-ho-yo-ho! That we certainly did~! Right on the mark."

There was a ringing of metal as Franky pulled the strap of a duffel bag onto his shoulder. Everyone had turned to stare at him. "Well, we gotta have the right equipment if we're gonna pull off a proper rescue."

Zoro placed a hand on the swords strapped snug against his hip and said, "I've got all the equipment I need right here."

Usopp pulled out his slingshot and punched his fist into the air. "Me too. Captain Usopp, ready for battle!"

"Well then," Zoro grinned, "I guess I'll have my work cut out for me with you watching my back."

Usopp quickly lowered his arm and stuffed his slingshot into his back pocket. "Haha, yeah, of course, but, y'know. I mean. I'm a long-distance fighter so I'll definitely have your back, but it'll… it'll be from back here. Because. Slingshot. Not really good up-close. You understand," he stammered.

"Me too!" Chopper piped in. "I'm really just support so, I'll… support."

Luffy tilted his head and scratched at his stomach. "Were we supposed to bring weapons?"

"Ahem!" Everyone turned to look at Robin, who now had a massive camera hanging from her neck. "I think Brook and Chopper should stay and watch the boats. The rest of us should try and find a way into the studio warehouse." Her knee-high boots crunched the gravel as she turned away and briskly headed towards the shadow of the neighboring building. "Which would be this way," she called over her shoulder.

Ten minutes of walking in silence later, Luffy dropped to the floor in a huff. "Can't we just _ask _someone?"

Usopp pulled his hood low over his eyes and leaned in towards Luffy. "It's said that Black Beard killed the natives that once inhabited Treasure Island. But not before burying his treasure somewhere on this island."

To everyone's surprise Luffy sat up and scowled, "Don't be stupid, Usopp. Everyone knows that all the _real _pirates sailed in the Atlantic Ocean."

Usopp stuttered out a loud, "Shut up! If we didn't have pirates in California, then why do we have _TREASURE _Island?"

Luffy tilted his head, eyes growing wide. "That's true! Do you really think there's treasure here?"

"Actually," Robin interrupted, "Luffy was right. Most pirates sailed in the Atlantic along the East Coast, Europe, South American, or the Indian Ocean. The only real pirates in the Pacific were those from Asia, but even they they stayed closer to their own countries and rarely, if ever, crossed over to California." Robin looked up and smiled. "Not to mention the fact that _this_ Treasure Island was artificially built in the 1930s. Its only connection to pirates is that the author of _the __book _'Treasure Island' spent some time in San Francisco."

"Right," Luffy stood up, pulling his sleeves up to his elbows. "Let's get Nami, Vivi, and Sanji. And then we're moving to the Atlantic Ocean!" He grinned at Zoro, "You'll come with us, right, Zoro? We'll need a swordsman."

Zoro grinned back. "How the hell are you going to live in the middle of the ocean when you never even learned how to swim? I'm not going to spend the rest of my life saving your dumbass from drowning."

Luffy's eyes were glinting at the mention of a possible confrontation. "Yeah, let's do it! Sanji and the girls are waiting!"

"Damn right, we've been fucking waiting." Everyone's head snapped towards the voice coming from a window on the building across the street. "So glad you guys could make it."

Luffy grinned and sprinted towards Sanji's voice. "Found you!"

The rest of the group soon joined Luffy under the barred window resting just a couple feet above their heads. They could barely make out Sanji's blue eye and blond hair peeking down at them in the dark. Zoro smirked up at him and said, "I can't believe you got yourself kidnapped, you idiot."

"I didn't get _kidnapped_, asshole. I agreed to go for a ride with some well-dressed men and may or may not have run into a complication once I found the girls." Sanji returned the smirk, "Which, by the way, I did do. Rescued the girls, that is."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "We're the one's here to rescue **you**, apparently."

"Last time I checked," Sanji smiled, "I snapped my fingers and here you are."

"Well then, magical curly brows, let's see you snap your fingers and get yourself out of this fucking mess."

Sanji opened his mouth to grumble back at the swordsman, but his head suddenly disappeared from the window and in his place popped up Nami. "Right. Sanji's an idiot and is _terribly_ sorry. He bows down to all your manly prowess, Zoro, and will no doubt confirm this himself later with all sorts of sexual favors. I am **sure**." She glared straight down at Zoro. "Now get us _the __fuck _out of here."

Everyone looked around a little unsure. Luffy tilted his head up and asked, "Can't Sanji just kick the bars out?" Nami sighed and shook her head.

"No, this window is too high. Sanji can't get enough leverage to reach it at full force." She bit at the corner of her lip, "Not that he hasn't tried."

"Uhmmm…" Usopp nervously chimed in, "Exactly how much room do you have in there?" They watched as Nami turned her head to look back into the room appraisingly.

"Well, it's not what I'd call roomy, but I'd approximate it's about thirty-five feet by twenty feet? It's longer than it is wide."

Usopp nodded at her response and set down his back-pack, digging something out. "Aha!" He pulled out a handful of wires and blocks. "I'll need you guys to stand as far back as possible and make sure you shield all your vital organs."

Everyone stared at him. Franky peered at the materials in Usopp's possession. "Dude, bro. Where'd you get all the explosives?"

"Goodbye present from Ace. And Chinatown fireworks from Sanji."

Franky's mouth split into a wide grin. "Need any help rigging it up?"

"Pleasepleaseplease," Nami rubbed her eyes, "accomplish this rescue mission without getting me killed."

Robin smiled up at her. "You might want to take cover."


	18. Chapter 18

** This chapter has finally been posted on LJ, I couldn't wait until I got home from work.**

You guys, just FYI. There's a cafe in Osaka called "All Blue" with One Piece flags flying all over the place. JUST FYI.

Also, one day I will actually proof-read, but today is not that day.

**Word Count:** 2,473

**Notes: **Meant to get this out over the weekend, but got caught up in actually making an outline for the rest of the story. The most I can say is that there should be _at least_ 2 or 3 more chapters left, but probably not much more.

Thanks so much for the continued feedback, you guys. I know I've been total shit about updating this and the fact that so many of you are still hanging around thrills me to no end. If it weren't for you guys, this story might still be hanging out on the back-burner.

Do enjoy!

* * *

Fire alarms were blaring and emergency sprinklers had sputtered on. Sanji bit back a groan as he pulled himself to his feet, brushing off the bits of rubble caught in the folds of his clothes. The sound of coughing from behind him finally registered despite the ringing in his ears from the explosion and the cacophonous alarms. Sanji quickly found the source of the coughs and knelt down, offering a hand as support. Nami took his hand gratefully, her ginger hair barely visible through the amount of dust that had settled over it. Sanji squinted through the still present haze of dust in an attempt to confirm that she wasn't visibly injured. His assessment was cut short as he was suddenly jerked backwards by a rough hand that had grabbed hold of his collar.

"Fucking _shit_," Sanji coughed out, immediately chastising himself for not being more aware of his surroundings, ceiling collapse be damned. But then the grip on his collar went limp behind him and the bulky body of his attacker crashed to the ground. A dirt-streaked Vivi stood just behind, proudly wielding one of the snapped off legs of the table that Sanji had re-purposed as a makeshift barrier before Usopp had set off his bomb. "Oh, my princess you are _gorgeous_, but," Sanji paused to crush his foot down hard onto the hand of the fallen assailant, which had been inching towards his gun holster, "I'd prefer it if you didn't risk injuring your soft hands by taking down worthless scum."

"It was hardly a risk, Sanji." Vivi's bright eyes smiled at him. "I may have a bodyguard, but I've also been trained in self-defense." Vivi tensed at the sound of rubble shifting under running feet behind her.

Before Vivi could turn around to face whoever was heading her way, Sanji stepped in front of her. Throwing a wink over his shoulder he said, "While knowing that may set my mind at ease, I'd still rather you not have to prove it."

Sanji focused his attention on the space in front of them, listening carefully for the quickly approaching footsteps. Smoke and unsettled dust obscured his view, but he could see shadows forming not too far ahead. Sanji braced himself, sending an unhappy look at the ground. _Sharp rubble. Wood splinters. Probably some glass from a window too. I'll have to stay off my hands as much as possible. _"Vivi, my darling, if you could possibly check on our dear Nami and take cover?"

"Be quiet, Sanji. I'm fine. And if I see that fucking clown I'm going make him regret covering my face in this disgusting make-up." Nami wiped her face across her sleeve angrily. "Ughhhh. It's so oily. If I fucking break out because of this…"

Sanji spared a quick glance backwards in time to see Nami picking up a broken piece of piping and weighing it against the broken table leg Vivi had been holding. In that moment, Sanji felt an overwhelming fondness for the two girls wash over him. Even though he understood the fact that the two on their own would have likely been unable to get out of the situation by themselves, he knew they would have at least put up one hell of a fight. With a renewed sense of confidence and determination, Sanji bounced on the balls of his feet for a moment before he shot forward and towards the closest shadow, chanting a reminder of _less capoeira, more kickboxing_before relaxing into instinct and reflexes.

But Sanji was quickly pulled back into a tensed focus the moment his foot met with a narrow strip of metal instead of the expected crunch of flesh and bone.

"The _hell_, you fucking idiot. This is what I get for coming to save your ass?" Despite the irritation laced in his voice, a corner of Zoro's mouth had quirked up into a small smile.

Sanji fought back any physical manifestation of the sudden relief he felt. Instead, he followed through with his kick, making Zoro stumble back half a step. "That's what you get for letting Usopp nearly blow us the fuck up."

Nami appeared next to Sanji, Vivi hovering close behind. "Lovely reunion and all, but I'd really appreciate it if we got out of here _now_."

The sound of additional voices and of shifting rubble alerted them to the arrival of Luffy and Franky. The shorter of the two let out a loud whoop at the sight of their rescued friends. "Good job, Zoro! You found them!" Luffy hopped forward, flinging his arms around Vivi and Nami. "Man, did you already defeat all the bad guys?" Luffy asked, eyeing the unconscious body nearby.

"Actually," said Zoro, looking around at the wrecked room, "things are a helluva lot calmer than I was expecting." He raised his eyebrows at Sanji in mock confusion. "Are you sure you didn't just get yourself locked in this room on your own?"

Before Sanji could make a move to defend his honor, Nami stepped between the two and grabbed both of their wrists, yanking them to her level so she could look them in the eyes. "We. Are. Not. Here. To. _Stoke._ Your. Egos. So, if we could get on with the **rescuing**, that'd be great."

"I'm sorry, Nami, but… I just can't leave yet." Vivi bit her lip, frowning in apology.

Nami's face fell, "Vivi, what're you…" The protest died as Nami saw the determination set into her friend's face. "This has something to do with The Better Good and helping Alabasta, I assume?"

Vivi nodded. "If Baroque Works is running this kind of operation back in Alabasta, then I need solid evidence. But… I don't expect you guys to stay. This isn't your fight."

"_Shut-_**up!**" Luffy scowled, "Why do people keep thinking that we're going to just abandon them when they're in trouble? We face things together." He held the gaze of his surrounding friends, unwavering. "Alright?"

Zoro stepped forward in solidarity, hand resting on his swords. "Well, I sure as hell didn't come all this fucking way just to give our fucking shitty-ass cook a ride home."

"And I," Robin began, preventing Sanji's inevitable backlash, "agree with Vivi. I know that Nami has gathered some financial records, but one: her method of acquiring those records would probably make them inadmissible in court and two: even if Vivi _were_to take it back to Alabasta, shady finances may be enough to cast suspicion and doubt, but it's hardly damning enough to destroy the loyalty Baroque Works has managed to build-up."

Nami nodded, face grim. "Okay." She took a deep breath, calming her nerves, and then nodded again with more conviction, "_Okay_. We need to get to the office situated on the main floor. A hi-tech safe was installed not too long before filming began; which is one of the reasons I started digging around in the first place—filming is temporary, no one's going to spend that much money installing a safe when there are plenty for-rent in the city. "

People could accuse Sanji of being sexist—could insist that his attitude towards women was simply a manifestation of some inner belief that females were simply weaker by nature and in need of a nurturing white knight—but he couldn't see how any of it made sense when faced with Nami, Robin, and now Vivi.

_How the hell could **anyone** associate 'women' with 'weak'? These three alone are stronger than most of the men I've met in my life put together._Sanji puffed up with pride and admiration as the girls continued to strategize.

But Franky's booming voice and Usopp stumbling over a ridge of rocks, scarf waving behind him, soon interrupted Sanji's reverie.

"I've managed to clear a route to the door. We should probably get a move on." Franky locked eyes with Robin, "Doesn't feel right though. No guards. We should all be careful and keep an eye out for an ambush. _Be careful._"

Robin gave him a soft smile and placed a steady hand on Franky's arm before brushing past to lead the way, Luffy bounding after her.

Before Sanji could move to follow, a rough hand gripped his elbow. Zoro's voice, not terribly deep, was low. "Look. Don't be an idiot, you're handicapped." Sanji nearly had to strain to catch his words.

Brows wrinkled in confusion, Sanji hissed back. "What the _hell_are you talking about? Since when did I have a fucking disability?"

"That's obviously not what I meant." Instead of verbal explanation, Zoro looked pointedly from the debris-strewn ground to Sanji's hands.

Sanji physically recoiled, pulling his arm free of Zoro's grip as he came to understand the implication. "**I'll _deal_**," he snarled, turning away from the swordsman, muttering an angry, "I don't need my hands to kick some ass."

Zoro grit his teeth in frustration. "_No,_you fucking…god damn it." He fumbled for something tucked into his back pocket and pulled it free, throwing it at Sanji's retreating back.

At the soft _whump_of impact, Sanji spun to face Zoro, ready for a fight. But he stopped short as he caught sight of what had hit him.

"I don't know how much they'll help, but I figure it's still better than nothing."

Sanji picked up the pair of leather gloves now lying at his feet. "And what, you just so happened to be carrying gloves with you? _You_ don't even wear gloves." His fingers smoothed over the leather. "And even if you did, you'd never shell out for a _quality_pair like this."

"Gloves were part of my costume for the movie." Zoro lifted a shoulder in a half shrug, "and like you said, I don't wear gloves so I figured I should get used to handling my swords with them on."

"I could still defeat these guys without using my hands." Sanji looked the swordsman square in the face. "My fighting style is as flexible as I am."

"I didn't say it wasn't."

Sanji gave a sharp nod and turned away, slipping on the gloves without a word and sprinting off to catch up with the rest of their friends.

With a barely suppressed grin, Zoro sprinted after.

The two didn't have to go very far before catching up with the others. Together, the eight friends stood at the entrance of the hallway and stared out at the chaos of the open warehouse floor.

Franky let out a long whistle at the destruction and fire raging before them. Wooden beams and supports from the film set were crackling with flames and there was a rush of chaotic activity and shouting as the men who had once acted as Vivi and Nami's guards rushed to escape.

Usopp and Luffy were both wide-eyed with their mouths hanging open. But while Usopp's were wide with a confused mix of pride and terror, Luffy's were all excitement and awe.

"Usopp, you're so _**awesome!**_"

"Yes, Luffy, Yes, I am." Usopp gingerly shifted the backpack still strapped to his back, "I didn't even use everything."

Franky slapped a hand against Usopp's back. "That, bro, is because there's _no_way our little explosion caused all of this."

Vivi pushed her way forward, but was quickly stopped as Nami grabbed her arm. "We _need_to get to the office."

"I know, Vivi, but you can't just rush into a burning building!"

Sanji was ready to step forward and volunteer himself for the task, but stopped when Zoro moved first. The swordsman had taken the bandana normally tied around his bicep and had pulled it on over his nose and mouth, knotting it at the back of his head.

"The warehouse floor is clear enough that you should be able to make your way though, but first," Zoro eyed the flaming supports on the film set, "Usopp and I will have to get most of these props and supports out of the way."

Usopp's head snapped around to look at Zoro. "Wa-wait a minute. Why do _I_have to go?"

"Because we're the ones who're most familiar with set props." Zoro gave Usopp a soft push forward, "let's get going." He gave one last look at his friends, eyes lingering on Sanji's. "Wait for the all-clear."

Sanji smirked, hair falling over his eye, "Don't take too long, we're not gonna wait for-fucking-ever."

Usopp pulled his scarf up to his nose the way Zoro had done his bandana and gave Sanji a serious look. "Don't worry, Sanji. The good guys always save the day just in time." He tugged his hood over his head and gave his friends a heroic smile, "We shall not fail you!"

Sanji bit back a laugh, but made no effort to hide his smile, "Then what're you waiting for?"

Usopp broke into a grin, temporarily forgetting just how terrified he actually was in the face of support, and leapt after Zoro.

The swordsman quickly made his way through the warehouse floor, hugging close to the wall and making sure to keep a close eye on Usopp following behind. The film set arranged on the warehouse floor was not the same as the ones Zoro had filmed on, but he recognized some of the pulley systems and prop supports. He eyed the network of cables and ropes.

_If **I** can recognize this shit, then Usopp should know how they work._Zoro beckoned his friend over and pointed towards a metal ladder attached to the wall. It led up to a hanging walkway used to access the mounted spotlights and harness riggings. "If they don't have to worry about shit falling on their heads, then it shouldn't be too difficult for them to make it to the office." Zoro tightened his bandana. "I'll go up. You tell me where and what to cut."

Usopp eyed the equipment with apprehension. "I'm not really sure…"

"Well, _I'm_sure. And I'm heading up."

"Wait!" Usopp turned away from Zoro and rifled through his bag, pulling out two walkie-talkies and tossing one to Zoro. "Here, take one."

Zoro caught it with ease. "You brought walkie-talkies?"

"Psh. It's a rescue mission. A. Rescue. **Mission.**" Usopp shook his head in disappointment. "Who goes on a _mission_without taking a few walkie-talkies along?"

"Right," Zoro switched the walkie-talkie on and held it close to his mouth, thumb pressing down, "try not to pass-out from smoke inhalation. Over and out."

Zoro placed a foot on the lowest ladder rung. He could feel the heat seeping through his heavy boot and prepped himself as he reached to grab a higher rung. The swordsman grit his teeth, intent to ignore the searing pain and blistering where flesh met metal.

Zoro took a deep breath, _the faster you climb, the faster you can be done with this shit,_and quickly made his way up the ladder.


	19. Chapter 19

"I'm glad that make-up _torture_ session with that freaky clown was good for something." Nami stood back and admired her handiwork, capping the remaining stub of red lipstick with satisfaction. She spun around to face her friends and slapped a hand against the wall, now displaying a large floor plan drawn in bright red lines. "Alright, listen up! Commit this map to memory. The smoke's going to make it hard to see so having a reference in mind should make it easier to navigate the mess out there. Also," Nami smiled menacingly, "I made the effort to draw it _to scale_so it damn well better not go to waste."

Luffy scratched at his neck, unused to the wooly scarf wrapped around it. "But Nami, if you've already memorized it, then can't I just follow you?"

She spun around to glare daggers at Luffy. "Because **you're** the one who was complaining about not having a map in the first place! LOOK. It's a damn _warehouse, _just try to make it from point A to B."

Luffy let out a big sigh, "Yeah, but I wanted a _treasure _map."

Before Nami could deliver a smack to his head, a sudden whistling and loud burst of bright lights and colors showered down from the ceiling. Sanji squinted into the bright flashes of light, "I'm honestly surprised Usopp managed to save so much of the fireworks I hooked him up with."

"I'm guessing that's our signal." Robin pulled a fire extinguisher from where it was mounted on the wall. Most of the fire had burned down, now concentrated in corners where wooden set equipment had been kept out of the way.

"Robin, Vivi, and Nami-swan~ if you'd all kindly stay behind me I'll be sure to guide you around any obstacles." Sanji flashed Nami a smile, "And with a map as brilliant- and no doubt as accurate- as this one, we'll be at the office in no time."

Franky shooed his friends forward, "Luffy can join Sanji up front and I'll bring up the rear. Let's move out!"

The six friends carefully picked their way across the warehouse floor. The low burning fires cast eerie shadows flickering as light filtered through the smoke drifting up to the ceiling.

As the troop of friends neared the offices, the smoke visibly thickened around them. Vivi coughed into a handkerchief and startled slightly as Robin placed a guiding hand on her back. The raven-haired woman's face was pulled tight with concern. "This isn't right."

"What do you mean?" The cloth still pressed against her mouth muffled Vivi's words.

"The explosion Usopp and Franky rigged up to gain entrance into your cell wasn't big enough to cause this much damage. Especially not on this side of the warehouse."

Sanji suddenly flung out his arm, immediately bringing everyone to a halt. He scuffed his shoe against the floor to create a small clearing amongst the rubble, and flexed his glove-clad fingers. "You might want to stand back."

The outline of a man emerged from the thick smoke. The shadow of a long nose was distinct, but different from the familiar curve of Usopp's.

Vivi reached a hand out towards the man emerging from the hallway as recognition hit her. "Kaku? Are you okay? What're you doing here?"

Kaku pushed his cap upwards, meeting the princess' eye. "Just setting the offices on fire. You?"

Vivi froze. It took only a moment for the shock on her face to twist into anger. "_What?_ Why would you **DO **that?"

"Why?" The man tilted his head. "Because putting all those documents through the shredder would've been really boring."

"This whole place is full of people who are fucking insane." Sanji muttered.

Franky made his way to the front line, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Sanji. "You know, in most cases I'd be all for sticking it to the man, but in Alabasta's case," he clapped a large hand on Vivi's shoulder, "'The Man' happens to include our little princess here and she's actually trying to do what's best for her people. Yet you're helping destroy evidence for the _terrorists_."

Sanji stood near his friend. "Franky, wanna put that fire extinguisher to use?"

Kaku pinched his eyebrows together. "Well, you can try, but you don't really think I'm going to just stand by and watch…?"

"No, I think you're going to be too preoccupied with wiping your ass after I kick the shit out of you. And maybe while I'm at it, I'll do you a favor and kick that monstrosity of a nose back to a normal size." Sanji peered up at the taller man. "I mean, honestly, Usopp's got a whopper of a honker himself, but yours is just really fucking unfortunate."

Luffy nodded his head in understanding, "Usopp's nose just looks stupid. Your nose makes you look like a giraffe." Sanji barely had a second to kick Luffy out of the way before a long blade slit through the air where the boy had been standing. Vivi and Nami rushed to Luffy, who showed no signs of injury and was instead grumbling a loud, "Geeez, Sanji. You owe me a meat buffet for that."

"I owe you a meat buffet for saving you? Shouldn't _you_ be the one doing something for _me?_" Despite the friendly banter, Sanji made sure to keep his eyes focused on Kaku, who seemed to be seething with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. "And by the way, shitty giraffe, are you fucking _serious_? Swords? Is this part of some Pirates of the Caribbean-swashbuckling trend I've- **thank the gods**- managed to miss?"

When Zoro's voice boomed from right behind him with a "I don't want to hear that bullshit from a cook that only knows how to kick... even fucking cavemen used weapons," Sanji prided himself on the fact that he didn't so much as flinch at Zoro's sudden appearance.

"Was that supposed to be an insult? Because I'm quite happy having a fighting style that shares nothing with cavemen." In his periphery, Sanji could see Franky, fire extinguisher in hand, as he edged towards the burning office. Robin was close behind.

But Sanji wasn't the only one to notice and in the next instant the blunt edge of Kaku's sword had smashed into Franky's gut. Winded by the blow, Franky doubled over and the fire extinguisher slipped from his grasp.

Before Sanji-intent on defending his friend- could retaliate, Zoro's swords were out and clashing with those of their square-nosed opponent. Sanji immediately stepped back, but growled out in annoyance "I saw him first shitty swordsman."

"I didn't hear you call dibs, stupid cook." Zoro's swords whistled through empty air as Kaku successfully dodged another swing. "And," Zoro sidestepped Kaku's forward lunge, "he's a swordsman."

Sanji smirked when he took note of the fact that Franky, Robin, and the fire extinguisher were nowhere in sight. _Leave it to the power couple to get shit done. Now, I just need to keep freaky long-nosed swordsman's attention away._ "Never stopped me from landing my kicks on _your_oafish ass."

Kaku hopped backwards to put some distance between himself and Zoro, "You know, kicking and slicing aren't mutually exclusive." With a scrape and a tap, a single blade slid out from each toe of Kaku's shoes. " I like to think of myself as a four-swords user. It's all just technicalities." He used his two swords to vault himself towards Zoro with a sudden burst of speed that caught the green-haired swordsman off-guard.

Sanji clenched his jaw as one of the shoe-blades sliced through Zoro's clothes, leaving a fine red line of welling blood. Zoro gave the cut a shrug and drew a third sword, placing it between his teeth. " 'S not my hoodie."

The fight dissolved into a blur of motion, the sound of steel-against-folded-steel the only clear indicator of what was happening at any given moment. Sanji tore his eyes away from the two swordsmen to find Vivi and Luffy.

The two were surrounded by limp bodies clad in black, Sanji recognized a few of them from when he first arrived at the warehouse. Luffy waved a bloody fist at Sanji in greeting. Not for the first time in their short acquaintance, Sanji wondered at the hidden depths of, not just Luffy, but everyone in their close-knit group.

The three huddled close as Sanji spoke in hurried tones, "It looks like Franky and Robin were able to get away, let's hope they're able to salvage anything from the office." Sanji looked around, "Where're Nami and Usopp?"

Vivi's eyes were narrowed as she continued to peek at Zoro's fight still taking place around the corner. "Nami went 'Aha!' and then ran off that way." Vivi pointed down the hallway opposite to the burning offices that Robin and Franky had gone towards. "We would have followed, but then these guys," a little wave of her hand indicated the unconscious bodies, "came from out of nowhere. But Nami did manage to drag Usopp with her."

Chin tucked into his chest and arms crossed with a pout, Luffy muttered in annoyance, "I bet she found the treasure and her and Usopp are going to get all the credit."

Sanji pinched his friend's cheek. "You and Vivi need to get out of the building while I find Nami and Usopp." He looked over his shoulder towards the burning offices, "Robin and Franky can take care of themselves. And we're lucky, because if there's _anyone_who could salvage evidence from a fire, it's those two."

Vivi once again looked ready to argue, but a loud crash brought their attention back to Kaku and Zoro. The two had separated and were staring each other down, each breathing heavily. Between them, dust was settling around a piece of fallen ceiling.

The princess slipped her hand into Sanji's, twining their fingers together. "And what about him?"

Sanji watched the muscles shift under Zoro's torn and fitted shirt, hoodie apparently discarded, as the two swordsmen prepared to clash once more. He brought Vivi's hand to his lips for a soft kiss, "Tell him that we're breaking up if he gets himself killed." Sanji lowered her hand, giving it a final squeeze before letting go and taking off down the hallway Vivi had pointed out earlier.

Taking a deep breath, Vivi turned to Luffy. "I guess we need to find our way out."

Luffy tugged on his hood. "What do you want to do?"

She frowned in confusion. "Well, Sanji said we need-"

"I asked what **_you _**wanted to do."

Momentarily taken aback, Vivi shook her head. "I… I want to _help_."

"Well then," Zoro's deep voice boomed behind them. Vivi and Luffy both turned to look at him now standing above a beaten Kaku, "I guess I'll just stay here and guard the entrance?"

Luffy let out a loud whoop and ran over to punch Zoro in the arm in congratulations. Vivi joined in, throwing her arms around Zoro in relief before letting him go with a smile. "Then let's go!"

But before Luffy and Vivi could run off to find Franky and Robin, a man emerged from the shadows. A tall hat sat atop his mess of curls. "Well, this is a disappointment, Kaku." They could hear the click of dress shoes as he approached. "Tell me you at least completed your mission?"

"Of course, Lucci." Kaku climbed to his feet, using his re-sheathed sword as a crutch. "I collected all the documents and set them on fire."

"Then we're done here." Lucci stared straight at Zoro. "I can't believe you were defeated by someone you scouted for a fake movie."

Kaku straightened up next to Lucci, a hand clutching his side. "I don't want my name attached to a crappy movie. If I'm going to do my job, then I'm going to _do _my job. Even if it is just a cover."

Zoro was content to stay uninvolved as long as there was no clear threat, but his curiosity got the better of him, "What the hell are you going on about?"

Lucci turned towards him, "I'd have no qualms with explaining. But..."

Zoro rolled his eyes, "But, what? You'd have to kill us?"

The serious expression on Lucci's face didn't falter, "Yes, exactly."

"I know we're on a movie set, but _damn _you're fucking dramatic." Zoro shot the two opposing men a look of complete disinterest, "you're almost as bad as the ero-cook when he's-"

***WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT~***

Everyone turned to look at Luffy, whose pocket was now playing out a loud riff.

Zoro knew he should be annoyed that Luffy hadn't thought to put his phone on silent, or even vibrate, while trespassing and partaking in some massive B&E, but he wasn't. Instead he put on a mask of feigned irritation and said, "Someone should've called you earlier, then maybe we could've lured out the guards and just taken care of them all at once."

Luffy fished his phone out of his pocket and pressed talk with a loud "Hey, Ace!"

Zoro slipped the cell from Luffy's hand and pressed the speaker button in time to catch the tail end of Ace's **[** -adults around that I can speak to? **]**

"Well, Luffy _is _over 18 years of age. He's an adult in the eyes of the law."

**[** While I'd love to argue over technicalities with you, Zoro, I need to know where you're at. **]**

"Treasure Island."

**[** Yes. Fantastic. You're also in a burning warehouse. I always could count on you to be succinct, but right now I need to know _exactly_ where you're at. Specifically in relation to the west-side entrance. **]**

Zoro squinted at the bright green exit sign shining a few feet away. "It looks like we're right on it."

"No. No we're **_not_**!" A breathless Nami glared at Zoro as she snatched the phone from his open palm. "We're on the opposite side of the warehouse. Right next to the _east_-side exit."

**[** Good, because the Feds have surrounded the warehouse so we're gonna set off some **ahem** _flashy_ distractions. Give us two minutes and the east-side exit should be clear. **]**

It wasn't until Sanji and Usopp appeared with bulky duffel bags tossed over their shoulders that anyone noticed Lucci and Kaku were no longer there. Robin and Franky were close behind with their own filled duffels.

Thirty seconds later bright flashes of color lit up the windows and a loud cymbal crash and brass fanfare blared out on the other side of the walls, leading into the familiar strains of the Star Wars main theme.

Sanji grimaced. "Well, so much for _sneaking _out."

"What are you harping on about?" Zoro gave their nearby exit a hard shove and it scraped open on rusty hinges. "That's Ace's distraction."

Usopp frowned in confusion. "Ace is here?"

Robin was first out the door and beckoning the rest to follow. "We can do all our debriefing later. At the moment, escaping is probably a better use of our time."

Behind Robin, headlights flashed on illuminating a large SUV that had been hidden in the darkness of an alley across the street. The driver's side window rolled down a gruff voice said, "Move your asses and get in the goddamn car before any of my agents notice I'm missing."

The passenger-side door popped open and Ace jumped out. "Hey, guys and gals! Special Agent Soccer-Mom-Smoker has volunteered to give you all a lift home."

"What's this, Ace? Getting help from the Fed?" Zoro shook his head and followed as his friends quickly crossed the street towards the waiting vehicle, "Never expected that from you."

Ace grinned at him. "And frankly, I always expected that _I'd _be the one stuck inside a burning building."

"If memory serves, you HAVE been stuck inside burning buildings. _Plenty _of times."

"Yeaaaaaaaah, but it doesn't count if I was the one burning it down."

"Was that a confession to arson, Portgas?"

Ace winked at Smoker, "If I say 'yes' will you 'take me in for questioning'?"

"Go ahead, Portgas, keep pushing my limits. Just remember that I'm the only reason Luffy and his friends' asses aren't in jail for trespassing right now."

Though his smile didn't falter, the amusement in Ace's eyes hardened into a challenge. Tone cheery and gaze locked with the FBI agent's, Ace replied, "Unless you're interested in seeing the entire West Coast go up in flames as I work my way to the Atlantic, I'd suggest you keep my baby brother out of your threats. Idle they may be." Not waiting for a response, Ace turned his attention to the rest of the SUV, now fit to bursting with the addition of eight bodies and several bags. "Don't worry about Brook and Chopper. I'll take care of them."

The SUV rumbled to life as Ace took off deeper into the dark alley. The crackle of the radio speakers as Smoker made calls to his various agents and the local police created a comfortable buzz of distraction as they headed back towards the city.

Usopp popped up from where he was sharing the hatchback storage space with Luffy during an extended moment of radio silence. "Sooooo you're _not _taking us to jail, right?"

Smoker glared into the rearview mirror. "You can't imagine how much I'd love to lock you all up right now, but no. Nami and Vivi are in the system as missing persons so they'll be headed to a safe house I personally secured. "The rest of you are going to be taken to your homes where covert surveillance will be kept up by trusted agents." His eyes flicked back to the road before he continued, "I suggest you get your alibis straight."


	20. Chapter 20

**WARNING!** This chapter is mostly just porn. I know I try to keep the explicit stuff off of ffnet and only on LJ, but that's not happening right now. If people do actually prefer that I keep a 'clean' version of this fic available than do let me know and I'll get on it, otherwise, if people prefer the porn, then I'm just going to be lazy about it.

* * *

Zoro's apartment was average.

Or at least Zoro's couch was average (as far as Sanji could tell from where his face was currently buried in the cushions). Admittedly, he didn't really give much of a flying fuck. The adrenaline and excitement that had gotten him through the last handful of hours had finally left his system and been abruptly replaced with a deep-set exhaustion. The back of the couch faced the apartment's entrance and Sanji climbed over the back of it the second Zoro had gotten his door open.

"Oi. I do have a bed..." Zoro waited five seconds, was blatantly ignored, and then proceeded to grab Sanji's ankles, pulling him from the couch and dragging him across the carpeted floor towards the bedroom.

Halfway down the hallway Sanji finally decided to kick out, breaking Zoro's hold with a muffled "Fuck off." But even he could tell that his heart wasn't really in it. What he _did_ know was this:

Zoro's carpeting was below average.

It itched against Sanji's cheek and _fuck on Zoro's living room floor_ gets scratched off of his mental to-do list.

"Do you need me to Pretty-Princess carry you to my bed or what?"

Sanji finally rolled onto his back and reached up to use a fistful of Zoro's shirt as leverage to pull himself onto his feet. He let go of the shirt and nudged the other man aside, slightly stumbling down the short hallway as he kicked off his shoes.

"You don't even know where the bedroom is, love-cook."

Leaning against the wall, Sanji tugged off his socks and stuffed them into his pants' pockets. "There are like… two doors in this hallway. I figure I'll either get the bedroom or the bathroom. And, honestly, right now a bathtub would be just inviting."

An amused smile tugged at the corners of Zoro's mouth. "Sorry, but I've only got a standing shower."

"Ugh. Of course you do." Sanji flattened himself against the wall as Zoro slid past him and nudged open the door at one side of the hallway.

Sanji stripped off his suit jacket, cringing at the smudges of dirt, ash, and blood rubbed into the expensive threads. "Westwood," he murmured sadly. "_Westwood_." Sanji gingerly folded it over his arm, hoping he'd be able to find a cleaner who could work miracles. "Thing cost more than this apartment, by the looks of it."

"Says more about your shopping habits than it does my apartment," Zoro called out over the sound of running water drifting from the open door of the bathroom.

Sanji gave the small apartment a cursory look before walking into the bathroom, hip leaning against the doorjamb. Paint was cracking at the corner where wall met floor and dark stains seeped in from the ceiling. The apartment was old and it showed.

But it was surprisingly neat. Not the same clean-and-open-minimalist-neat of Sanji's own flat, but there was definitely a distinct lack of stereotypical-bachelor mess.

_No, not neat. __**Empty**__,_ Sanji corrected.

Blue eyes tracked the course of the water pouring from the faucet as it ran over Zoro's head lowered into the sink and watched as the water flattened the short green strands before splashing into the drain below.

"I know my bed's not covered in hand-woven silk sheets…" Sanji's eyes flicked open, not even sure when he'd closed them, surprised by how close Zoro's voice had sounded. The swordsman was no more than two feet away, towel draped around his neck to catch the water still dripping from his hair. "You should get some sleep."

When it was clear that Sanji wasn't planning on commenting nor moving, Zoro took another step forward and made to slip past the cook still standing in the doorway.

Zoro didn't get very far.

The moment Sanji felt the warmth of Zoro's body brush by him, his hand shot out reflexively, splaying against Zoro's exposed hip bone and curling around the muscled sides. His eyes stayed on the point of contact, thoughts fuzzy and slow.

Zoro tucked two fingers under Sanji's jaw and lifted until they were once again face-to-face. He leaned forward and caught Sanji's lower lip between his own. It was a chaste kiss with only the briefest brush of tongue before Zoro pulled away just the slightest bit. "You're exhausted. Sleep here tonight and you can head home tomorrow." Sanji's only response was letting his head droop forward, forehead resting against Zoro's clavicle. The swordsman nudged Sanji with his free hand; murmuring a rough "I _really will_ carry you if I have to, love cook."

"You even _try_ to lift me and I'll-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You'll kick me halfway to the moon. Or some bullshit like that." Zoro stood still for another moment. "So, are you going to move by yourself or…?"

With a grumble and a sigh, Sanji stepped aside to let Zoro pass.  
Already halfway undressed, Sanji had only to peel off his sooty button up before he was ready to flop onto the modest double-sized bed. Zoro sat on the edge, tugging off his pants before reaching down for his socks. A warm puff of breath and skin pressed into the small of his back where Sanji had rolled into the dip of the mattress.

Zoro looked longingly back at the bathroom- he couldn't wait to take a proper shower and wash off the smell of smoke and the stickiness of recently dried sweat from his body.

"Don't even think about it. It's fucking cold and I've already gotten ash all over your sheets anyways." The words were muffled against Zoro's lower back and were accompanied by a half-hearted wiggle as though to prove Sanji's point.

The swordsman let out a defeated "fine" and lay back where he sat, effectively smothering the other man, who then turned his head and sank his teeth into muscled back.

"Ow, fucking okay. Put away your fangs, I'm moving…"

The bed's soft creaks and shuffling adjustments slowly melted away into the comfortable background murmur of the city's nightlife as the two faded into sleep.

************************

Zoro blinked groggily into the sunlight and breeze streaming into his kitchen from windows he had thought were painted shut. He squinted at Sanji, who was elbows deep in sudsy dishwater. "Why is my kitchen so fucking shiny."

"I think we all know that the real question here is: why _wasn't_ your kitchen this fucking shiny in the first place?"

Zoro walked over, plucking the cigarette hanging from Sanji's mouth and leaning in close. "That shit's gonna give you cancer."

Sanji rolled his eyes, "Beating a dead horse, yada yada..." but closed the distance, hands stilling in the dishwater as his lips pressed moist and soft against Zoro's.

"How dedicated are you to finishing those dishes?" Zoro murmured, trailing kisses up Sanji's jaw.

For a moment, Sanji looked torn. He tilted his head a slowly exhaled, enjoying the feel of Zoro's lips, tongue, nip-of-teeth down the side of his neck. "Alright," he decided, draining the sink and rinsing off his hands before turning around and pulling Zoro close, "here's the plan: I'm going to fuck you on that ratty-ass couch you've got in there and then you're going to put it out on the curb to be picked up with the trash."

"Like hell I am. I love that damn couch," Zoro said, hands on Sanji's hips already maneuvering them out of the kitchen and towards said couch.

Sanji stopped for a moment as they passed his duffel and grabbed the lube and a condom from the inside pocket. "Not as much as you'll love riding my-" he was cut-off by Zoro's low rumble of laughter directly against his mouth.

"Yes, okay I'll get rid of the fucking couch." He stood in front of the couch where Sanji had finally taken a seat and reached down to run his fingers through the still shower-damp hair. "Why should I even bother putting up with your high maintenance demands," he said without any real bite.

Sanji scooted forward until he was sitting at the edge of the couch, face level with Zoro's navel and hands pushing up the hem of his dark blue tank top. "It's expensive to be in first class," his thumbs hooked under Zoro's sweats and boxers, slowly tugging them down muscular thighs, "but the perks are worth it." Sanji's eyes locked with Zoro's as he dragged his tongue across his own palm before reaching forward to wrap it around the base of Zoro's cock.

Zoro schooled his breathing into a steady rhythm as he watched Sanji lower his head, tongue darting tentatively against his sensitive skin. One of his hands found it's way to Sanji's shoulder while the other brushed hesitantly over blonde hair.

Sanji took his time, still not quite used to being this intimate with another guy. First he mouthed along the shaft, lips and tongue working their way from base to tip before finally slipping his lips around the head, already pearling with precome. His eyes slipped closed as he focused on regulating his breathing through his nose, head slowly bobbing up and down as he hollowed his cheeks. Above him he could hear Zoro murmuring his name with slightly panting breaths.

He blindly reached for the lube he'd set down on the cushion beside him and popped it open by feel, letting some dribble onto his palm and fingers. Sanji brought one hand up to press against Zoro's balls as the other hand slipped further back, the tip of one slick finger tracing the puckered ring of muscle before pushing against it.

"Fuck, Sanji, come on come on," Zoro growled above him.

Sanji smirked around Zoro before taking in more with a renewed effort as his fingers stretched and pumped in and out of the other man.

Zoro painstakingly, if clumsily, pushed against Sanji's forehead, urging him off, before fully stepping out of his pants and boxers puddled around his ankles. He straddled Sanji's hips, his knees digging into the couch's cushions, and pulled off his tank top. Zoro's hands pulled impatiently at Sanji's boxer briefs as his mouth found come-slick lips.

Sanji laughed, breathless, between bruising kisses, "Who's the fucking impatient one now?"

"Hey, I was just trying to follow through with your plan for me to ride you into this couch," he punctuated his words by grinding against Sanji's barely clothed erection, "but if you've changed your mind...?"

"_Fuck_ **no**," Sanji said as he wrapped one arm around Zoro's waist to hold him steady as he shifted himself around in order to shimmy his underwear off.

Zoro worked to pull off Sanji's cotton shirt- which was actually one of Zoro's older university tees, and when had Sanji gotten his hands on _that_- and leaned down to press a smug kiss against his temple in a gesture that was sweeter than he'd initially intended.

Sanji used his lube-free hand to pull Zoro's head down for a deep kiss, nails scratching softly at the back of his head. Zoro moaned at the sensation, torn between whether to further deepen the kiss or push back against the fingers. "Like a fucking cat," he gasped as Zoro took him in hand, angling and then slowly sinking down onto Sanji.

Zoro shut his eyes and leaned down to press their foreheads together at the same time Sanji's fingers restlessly gripped and loosened against his hips. They both took a few seconds to simply adjust to the feeling, breathing in each other's air. It was another moment before Zoro falteringly began to move.

His knuckles whitened against the back of the couch as he arched against Sanji's chest, slowly building rhythm and confidence along with the slow burn of pleasure pulling his abs tight.

"Jesus fucking Christ you feel amazing," Sanji panted against Zoro's chest as he started to thrust his hips up, counterpoint to Zoro's own movements.

Zoro half-chuckled half-gasped as he nipped at the top arch of Sanji's closest ear, "Should I be concerned that you didn't reach that same revelation when it was _my_ dick up your ass?"

Sanji huffed out a surprised laugh, "You really should. Your ass is so fucking magical I bet you shit unicorns and rainbows."

They both shook with a combination of laughter and exertion and it wasn't long before Sanji slipped a hand between them and started jacking Zoro off in time with his thrusts.

With each pull of Sanji's fingers and thrust of his hips, Zoro could feel himself teetering closer and closer to the brink, which is, of course, when his front door creaked open and Ace stuck his head in.

Zoro froze, brain gearing up to let out a string of profanities, but then Sanji, who was facing away from the door, was muttering an endless stream of _"marimo, marimomarimomarimo"_ into his ear and combining it with a series of particularly sharp, if shallow, thrusts and Zoro couldn't really find it in himself to care. And anyways, it wasn't like he'd never walked in on Ace before and this was _Zoro's fucking apartment_ which had been _locked_ and-

Zoro's eyes snapped shut and he arched forward as Sanji's angle and speed hit just right, "Shit, Sanji, right there. _Fuck, just like that._" He cracked one eye open to see that Ace was still standing immobile at the open door, mouth half open in an aborted greeting. Zoro flipped him off and then proceeded to grind down at a brutal pace, thighs aching with the effort, but worth the reward of Sanji's increasingly louder groans and gasps.

Ace smothered a laugh against his hand, but bowed out of the apartment with a little wave and just the slightest look of contrition upon his face.

The minute their unexpected voyeur left the room, Zoro let himself fade into the waves of pleasure and his vision greyed, head thrown back and fingers digging into Sanji's shoulder. Next thing he knew, his back was hitting the couch and Sanji was over him, kissing and panting against his cheek as his rhythm broke down to stuttered thrusts before finally stilling with a gasp.

Sanji hovered over him for another second as Zoro did his best to make room on the couch next to him. Sanji still ended up laying half on top of him.

Zoro threw an arm around Sanji's waist and yawned, "okay, you can go finish the dishes now."

Sanji made a half-hearted attempt to elbow him in the stomach and mostly settled for smothering him with heavy limbs. They lay content for a few minutes before Sanji let out a sigh and groused about drying come.

Zoro joined him in sitting up and rubbed at his pleasantly sore thighs, "yeah, and Ace is probably waiting out in the hall."

Sanji gave him a suspicious look, but decided not to pursue it. "I don't even give a shit at this point. I'm gonna shower."

Zoro grunted in response and watched as Sanji bent to pick up the clothes strewn around the couch. He was caught watching, but Sanji just wiggled his hips lewdly and then leaned down for a last kiss before his shower. A whisper of words, "by the way, good morning," lingering on his lips as Sanji pulled away.

* * *

**Notes:** I've been writing fic under a different pseud for Inception and Supernatural, but PC is my baby and I'm pretty determined to finish it so I'm actively making it a priority. I'm so sorry you guys have to deal with my falling out of the One Piece fandom with massive wait times for this fic and I really don't want that to be the case from now on. I do hope you continue to enjoy and thanks so much for your support~!


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